Incestual relationships

ThePixilator
So...I am making a huge decision with my husband, basically the idea of divorce. Among other problems, one of our biggest problems is his relationship with his mom (btw, we're both Scorps). He has a very inappropriate relatioinship with her, a sexual relationship, of sorts, to be more specific. I can never feel comfortable when they hang out alone, with his own mother, it seems so wrong. I also get jealous everytime they talk on the phone. I'm seriously thinking about getting a divorce because I feel second in my husbands life in comparison to his mom. I also can't get over the idea of them doing things together, it's deeply disturbing to me and is stuck in my head anytime we do something intimate. What makes it worse is that he refuses to cut his mom off. I understand it is his mom, but, at the same time, it's not normal to have that kind of relationship with your mother.

What would you do in my situation? I feel like I'm not explaining the situation very well, for I'm pretty sick and can't think too clearly. I just want advice as to what i should do. At this point, I feel like breaking off my marriage is the best decision I could make, but I'm not sure and would like either reassurance or better advice.

Ugh, sorry if this is porrly written or doesn't give enough information.
AutumnalChick
Oh god, I can't say I blame you. ... that is a minefield I personally would not want to tread. One of my exes had what I considered an inappropriate relationship with mommy, but yours makes him sound tame by comparison ...

Okay sooo like, how sexual are we talking? and when is the last time it happened?
Was it a molestation thing or mutual?
BigGirlPanties
Odd....you wrote on another thread few weeks ago your husband was overseas in the military..right? And that you were happily married...right?
ThePixilator
Posted by AutumnalChick
Oh god, I can't say I blame you. ... that is a minefield I personally would not want to tread. One of my exes had what I considered an inappropriate relationship with mommy, but yours makes him sound tame by comparison ...

Okay sooo like, how sexual are we talking? and when is the last time it happened?
Was it a molestation thing or mutual?


I wish it was just a molestation thing, but it's mutual. My uncle actually dated his mom for a period of time and she would disappear at night and sneak into her sons (my husbands) bedroom when he was 16 and sleep naked with him in there. Nothing physical has happened between him and his mom since we've been married (that I know of), but he does things like texts her to brag about all the great sex we'll have that night cuz he knows it'll make her jealous. He'll sneak out of bed and privately call her while I'm sleeping in hopes that I won't know. He also keeps financial secrets with his mom, such as giving her a power of attorney and not even tellig me this before he left for Afghanistan, but claiming he didn't realize he signed a power of attorney once I found out and brought it up to him.

So, even though nothing sexual has most likely happened between them since we've been married, there are still serious issues regarding his mother and how she plays into our marriage. She is also extremely possessive and jealous of our marriage, constantly trying to get us to divorce or find ways to make us lose trust in each other or screw each other over. It's a situation I never dreamed of being in, but makes it difficult for I love my husband deeply, more deeply than I've ever loved anyone before, so it's difficult for me to not be in denial about this situation.
Lobo
I've read nothing just the OP title... WTF!!!!??? ewww.
ThePixilator
Posted by BigGirlPanties
Odd....you wrote on another thread few weeks ago your husband was overseas in the military..right? And that you were happily married...right?


lol Yes, I did, I'm trying to face up to the reality of the situation and make a decision. We are happily married.....if his mother didn't exist. Because he's deployed it's easy to forget his mother influences our marriage at all, seeing as I never hear from her, but now that RnR is coming up he wants to go visit his mom with or without me. I suppose you could say it's making me re-examine my marriage.
AutumnalChick
Oh my Jesus.
Honey? Therapy. Stat.
He has got to make a choice, his wife or his mom, and someone (not you, but a professional who is not emotionally attached to the situation) needs to help him understand how very, very unhealthy and dysfunctional that is.
I really think that unless he is willing to go see a counselor with you, you might as well call a lawyer now.
ThePixilator
Posted by exoskeleton
what in the treetrunk?

i'd be gone as soon as i found out. why have you put up with it so long?


I suppose because we're married and live in a foreign country. I'm not sure where I would go or live if we got a divorce. I don't even have a car to live in cuz I don't own a car. lol It's a little more difficult to get a divorce than it is to break up. No one walks into a marriage with the intentions of giving up on it.
westside
he should marry his mom
westside
p.s. this butters too good to be true
ThePixilator
Posted by exoskeleton
"but he does things like texts her to brag about all the great sex we'll have that night cuz he knows it'll make her jealous. He'll sneak out of bed and privately call her while I'm sleeping in hopes that I won't know."

"She is also extremely possessive and jealous of our marriage, constantly trying to get us to divorce or find ways to make us lose trust in each other or screw each other over."

again, what in the treetrunk?


Alright...so I'm not the only that thinks it's treetrunked up. lol It's hard to tell sometimes, to be honest, being around my husband so much, it's almost as though I've had to somewhat be accepting of it in order for the marriage to survive. I can't do it anymore though.
AutumnalChick
It's a little more difficult to get a divorce than it is to break up. No one walks into a marriage with the intentions of giving up on it.


True, but if a real deal breaker comes up along the way, you gotta protect yourself and consider the big D. This is most definitely a deal breaker.
You can always pull yourself back onto your feet after leaving him, it is infinitely better than being sucked into his SERIOUSLY MESSED UP family dynamic. After a while, the abnormal starts to become normal.
That's what has happened with him ... and like I said earlier, professional intervention really is the only way he will have a chance of recognizing how deeply disturbing his behavior is.
No marriage could contain something like that and be healthy.

Lobo
Posted by exoskeleton
what sign is his mom? curious.



OMG exo why hahaha.. ugh.. is he really a mother treetrunker
ThePixilator
Posted by exoskeleton
what sign is his mom? curious.


I think her birthday is in....February, but I'm not 100% positive. So an aquarius or pisces maybe.
ThePixilator
Posted by oldskoolflavor
looking on the bright side:
at least, he isn't doing your mom

that would be treetrunked up + betrayal


lmao thanks for the optimism.
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