Handling Death

I'm trying to prepare myself for my Bull's grandmother passing. She is back in the hospital again (3rd time in 3 weeks) with phnemonia. It's looking pretty bad for her. To make things worse, she not only is his grandmother, but for 3/4 of his life, she raised him. I'm wondering how you guys deal with death? I really want to make sure i am there for him in the best way that works for him.

I'm not good with death at all and since i'm a person that is in denial when it comes to death. i don't want to come off as not being able to comfort him. I still quite honestly haven't dealt with the loss of both of my grandparents and my uncle. I tend to completely withdraw and block from my mind what evver happened. So i don't have a lot of compassion for this. It sounds harsh but, i know this about me and don't want to hurt him.

Any insight into how you guys tend to deal with this would be much appreciated.

I realize everyone handles death differently just wondering if there are similarities amongst the signs.

thanks GB. I don't think he will be willing to talk to someone like that. i have a feeling he will see that as him being weak.

Any insight into how you guys tend to deal with this would be much appreciated.

I realize everyone handles death differently just wondering if there are similarities amongst the signs.

This reminds me of when my Gemini uncle went back and forth to the hospital -- within 3 weeks, he passed in my grandmother's home.

It was hard for me to deal with it because he was one of my favorite uncles and he would tell everyone that I was his favorite niece -- of course that makes anyone under the age of 20 feel good. Unlike my father's death, I allowed myself to cry, thats how I get through it, I didn't hold back, I cried and cried and cried.

My father passed in 1999, it took about four to five years to shed real tears. At his funeral, I weeped but I didn't cry because I didn't seem real that he was gone. It became very real that my father was gone when I realized that he wasn't around the day I graduated from high school and that was in 2004. That was a weird day because felt both happy and extremely sad and I couldn't really explain to my friends what in the heck was wrong with me.

If he doesn't wanna talk too, don't pressure him to. It won't go anywhere and you might just piss him off.

"My father passed in 1999, it took about four to five years to shed real tears. At his funeral, I weeped but I didn't cry because I didn't seem real that he was gone. It became very real that my father was gone when I realized that he wasn't around the day I graduated from high school and that was in 2004."

That is how i deal with it as well. I have lost my grandpa (mom's Side) didn't cry and i loved him dearly. I lost my gramma and grampa (dad's side) in 2003 within 6 months of each other and i was SOOOO close to them, and didn't cry. I lost my favorite uncle, who was a brother to me, in a plane crash and cried a couple tears. All of these i was devestated but like in denial. I still have numbers in my phone, emails and so forth.

So that's why i'm struggling as to what to do to help him and maybe try and prepare him. She raised him so he is closer to her than his own momma. i'm afraid i'm going to come off cold or not compassionate and i don'tmean or want to come off that way.

Thanks for sharing that with me cappysweetie - it scares me the within 3 weeks part. I'm so nervous about this. we were supposed to go back to MN to visit his gramma for thanksgiving but his car had problems and with it costing 600 bucks we can't affored it.
I'm so afraid that because he moved here in Labor day to be with me, that if something happens to her, he is going to resent me because he can't just run to her anymore. i'm trying to get him home to see her, but it's hard right now.

Luckily Taurus tend to handle life's difficulties with unbelievable ease. Its not that they never are hurt but they know how to handle their inner grief. These guys have a lot of inner stability and thus find it easy to come to terms with reality. They are also very practical therefore they can cope with the death of a loved one rather easily. Taurreans possess great strenght in terms of stressfull dealings.

he will cry alot for a while. let him. dont try and stop it. some people like to try and control it by telling a person not to or telling them to be strong etc. let him go through all

that he will without trying to stop it. just be there. what you could do is try and
put together a keepsake for him a remeberance. something of hers(like a piece of a favorite material she wore and let him find it.) just a simple prayer for her with her and a silent goodbye will help him too. his own way to say goodbye and honor her. you could talk and to remember what a wonderful woman she is and her place with God will be matched and tell him that God
wanted her back for that reason. she was only on loan. we all are. that she

is always going to be with him and thats a fact!!! she is still with him and he will
see her again when his time is finished. all sounds corny but its true.

1. i think honoring her at where she is right now in the sickness(be with her as much as possible before she moves on.)
by praying and loving her is going to help him. it makes you feel like you participated and they werent alone and that really is good. we cant go with them but we can be there
until the end.

2. then a keepsake and the knowledge that he will see her again. that life goes on and
energy never dies. the keepsake has some of her energy and you can feel it. comforting.

3. and then just let him grieve. let him go thru all those steps.

Thanks so much for the adivce Avalan and hothouse 🙂 i need all i can to get through this with him and to be there for him. That's a great idea about a keepsake 🙂 i'm sooo going to get on that so i have it for the future.

Avalan i have noticed his strength which is one of the things i absolutely love about him. I just know she is something of a whole nother beast to him and worry it could break him for a while and that's ok, i just want tomake sure i can be the strength he can fall back on. So it was good to hear thats a trait they have for difficult times. I know he will get through this, just wanna make it easier on him.

Thanks again, i really appreciate the comments.

Thanks for sharing that with me cappysweetie

No problem 🙂

When my Dad died (aged ), I was kinda numb
It wasnt till i was behind closed doors that the tears came.
But i felt i had to put up a front (be strong) for those around me, especially my sister, who worshipped him.

That's the hardest part for me Aqipapers... if i am in denial in my own life about the ones i loved passing, how to comfort someone else when i still haven't dealt with my own. I'm "taking notes" to what everyone is saying and hoping i can dig deep and give him the comfort i know he is gong to need. As i have been thinking and analyzing all of this, its making me look inside and i have been having a hard time with my own losses. i'm nervous this is going to trigger something and all of the sudden i'm going to be dealing with all that i have lost. I guess that is good. Denial isn't healthy and i know this.