Letting go of Taurus
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|ok I'm a taurus female, he's a taurus male. He initially approached me and we went out to lunch and went to other events together, but I was never sure what we were. When I would inquire, he would state he didn't want that but we "acted" like a couple, so after 6 months of this, I finally told him I wanted nothing to do with him, then he wanted to meet to "talk" this over. I said no many times over but he wouldn't stop, finally agreed to meet and explained dealing with him was too confusing and I needed to move on and get over it. He didn't understand why I couldn't move on and still be his friend!!!!! At this point I thought he was crazy or just plain stupid, so I just told him I wanted no contact whatsoever. He was upset and after thirty minutes of talking in circles we finally said are goodbyes. |
I feel good about my decision but his facial expressions seemed like I really hurt his feelings by moving on. He didn't understand how he was hurting me by saying we were friends but acting as if were indeed a couple where every one else thought that also. As you can see it's still fresh in my mind but something tells me I'm not through with him I just hope the next time I'm strong like I was the first time. Do you guys think I was right to just cut ties with his back and forth wavering?
|Well we are both christians and fwb wasn't even in our thought process. We had a common bond in regards to our faith, but the lines in our relationship were blurred. It felt like he wanted our relationship to be what he wanted and I had no say about it. We were great friends but even after I told him he was confusing me, he kept up the flirting, texting me @ midnight, 5 a.m. in the morning or calling at those times. I don't do that with male friends I have and he didn't understand why I was thinking he wanted more.|
|Since you all have helped me I am going to help here. Taurus men will not commit if they don't have to until they are ready for marriage. It could be other variables that prevent them from committing. It could be money. It could be indecisiveness. It could be other women. It could be their maturity level. But you have to create boundaries. They don't respect anything other than that. My Taurus man put me through a lot of games. I created boundaries and told him basically either we were in a relationship or he could move on. He then stepped up. I let him coast by and argue with me and tried to be more understanding because he recently, about a year, got promoted in a high stress level type of job. He was running over me. I blew up on him. Now he is kissing my feet. They will do what you let them. They do like challenges. I challenged him before he committed a few years ago. They'd rather their relationships start from friends to something else. But they are attracted to what they can't have. They are confusing because they don't want you to leave. You are apart of their "STUFF". So their possessiveness seems like they love you or they want you. Really you have to cut away from that mirage and see that it's just apart of their behavior. When they feel like they can't live without you and it may take them awhile. Then they will come charging. But had another girlfriend and the bull got to her too late and now he is ringing my phone off the hook. Once they do get determined they are non stop. Just don't be the girl that is the FWB that he can call whenever his pursuits of other women have fell short, and benefits could mean emotional trash bin. Any hole even your time that they dump in is a FWB relationship.|
|Thank you for that dayssunny! I knew I was right by setting boundaries. I decided after 6 months of this, I wasn't going to let him have his way anymore and if we ended up together or not so be it but I wasn't going to play those games. We work within the same company but in different buildings so I don't have to worry about running into him. I just have to be patient, if he isn't the one then the next one is around the corner.|
|Oh well, that is something I will have to accept. Can't cry over spoiled milk. |
I can't let people walk all over my kindness. I've learned from past experiences to treat
people as I would like to be treated and game playing only hurts it doesn't help. If he moves on, it may hurt
initially, but I still have to live my own life in the end. I'd rather handle it this way then become
some deranged, crazy stalker...lol. Thanks for all your advice and input.
|He probably will. But that girl will face the same fate or a worse one. If the new girl comes around she's going to sense his commitment issues and if she holds on because she fears that he won't give her a crumb he won't respect her. And he will cheat on her. They are known for cheating if they don't have respect or have to fight for you. Taurus aren't boring they get bored easily. I had to play so many cat and mouse games with mine. I gave up. He found me and then we were together. I got in a rut or a routine and forgot that he loved these games. It might be this way with all men. Taurus are bulls they like chasing red things. It takes a lot of courage but I hope that every woman finds that inner strength to have courage enough to walk if the boundaries aren't defined enough to grant you the inner peace and respect that you deserve.|
|The boundarie situation was and is hard because I became friends with all his friends. So when I cut him off I ended up cutting them off which I didn't want to do because I like all of them. I text them still but its not the same. its kind of frustrating b/c I think of him from time to time or dream about him. I'm hoping his memories will erase from my mind so I can fully move on and accept whatever happens gingerly. Talking about this is helping in the meantime.|
|Very indecisive Cutebullie! I am sorry that you two are going through this. Mine flirted and cheated when we were dating, I walked. It wasn't until a year later and him behaving like a reformed man that I decided to give him another chance. It's largely because he was so persistent involving my brothers and my sisters talking to my family. They also can be very cold when they argue and I still remember some of the hurtful things that he said and this was 5 years ago. So get tough skin if you get into a verbal match with them. They are big huge boys and they can't express themselves so when you push them into a corner they will say whatever they can to hurt you even things that more mature men would know was off limits. He said so many things that I havent forgiven him about to this day. What makes them so attractive to us is because we as women have a habit of seeing the potential or the stuff underneath. You can't do that when you make a clean cut. They are going to flirt and try to be superheros to women only if you allow it. When they realize that you aren't going to be around they will change. Let them go through it but live your own life as though they may never come back. Then they will. I didn't care if he had married my sister at the point I was at 5 years ago I just wanted him out of my life. You have to train people on how to treat you. And you both are training them to treat you with respect. On the surface it may appear that they are having a good time with whoever. I saw him in passing we lived around each other. He was always smiling. When I was just getting over him it hurt. I started replaying what he said to me and hated him enough to move on. I started to also remember how he would flirt right in front of me. It was disrespectful. This was when myspace was popular he'd rotate all of these women in his top friends and rotated me out one time. It was a lot of things he would do. I told him I dont need this. I left. I kept a calendar marking the days that I didn't talk to him. Remain a mystery with them. Don't say anything to them when you are making a move. Don't try to be friends with their friends. Don't be friendly at all. Be friends with yourselves. When you calculate how much time you spend worrying and what you could be doing with that time you will be glad he's gone now. I heard about the other women. I didn't care. I knew that he was going to do the same thing. There is no woman that can fix a man.|
|So whoever they are with now that doesn't mean that he's changed for them. You aren't missing out on anything. It's just like having a bad professor that doesn't like taking any questions and a new student comes into the next class with a lot of questions. The new kid is sitting on the other side of the classroom or enrolled right after you so you can't let them know that when they raise their hand to ask a question that they will get blasted. This teacher doesn't like questions. The same ridiculous thing that they wanted from you two. This man doesn't like boundaries in relationships. What teacher wouldnt want you to learn and ask questions? What man that's ready for a relationship wouldn't want you to feel emotionally secure? Look at the women like that, they are the new kids in the classroom. You know how that teacher is (lesson is). All you can do is shake your head because you are getting ready to graduate from that class. Sure they have more time with that teacher, but that teacher will be the same, and you are just glad that you got out of the class. If immature men had warning labels on them I don't think anyone would date them. Taurus men have proven to me to be childish and they like attention. If you forgive them when they return to be ready for you that's fine. But if you get someone who's ready for you, that's fine too. Either way you learned your lesson from that class |
|Well girlie you know then. Subtract 10-15 years off of their age and we are still being too nice. So now he is persistently back trying to win you over again? We need to start a topic that says He is not me. The male version of each sign is sometimes totally the opposite of the female version. Some of my male libra friends are such players and conceited. It's the total opposite of justice and balance seeking female libras. He probably will keep trying, bless their hearts they are really persistent.|
Posted by cutiebullie
Lol yes he's met his match. And yes it seems like all of us are redefining our limits this year. Girl power!
|Well I know it because all of the stuff that they wanted to say and kept inside they just blow up on you. It's going to take sometime. I want you to heal. It's a lot because women we are just sensitive and they know how to really hurt you with those horns. Mine did then and it was over myspace and pretty soon I started finding out everything he really felt for the last few years. It got ugly. Libras will keep our calm for so long that when we do get our scales imbalanced it's like we turn into someone else. He looked just as stunned at me that I did at him. I am talking about flying dishes and the works. You will heal. I know you know that but just want to reassure you, that you will.|
|Thanks for all this perspective ladies. I needed this today. I was seeing a Taurus guy that has started to play head games with me. It's soo childish & annoying. I am like, REALLY??? SCREW THAT. but it sucks cuz I like this fool. Ugh, it's still fresh to me. I've lost respect & trust for him. Didn't think he would stoop to this level. Guess I like 'em baaad. haha!|
Being a woman, I can see like 5 miles down the road. You just know how a relationship is going to end. Yeah, I saw these red flags, but continued on... only to bite the dust - my own doing, ouch. It was fun while it lasted!
I'm going to go lick my wounds now & treat myself real guud.
Posted by Kleo
That's the problem they are likable and lovable so it's hard to break it off totally. But if they start the games you are good to just run. Like Cutebullie has an evolved perspective on how to cut the ties if you don't want to get into an emotional tug of war it's best that you are treating yourself real guud. They stoop real low when they aren't in the mature bracket. We all see the flags. It's good to see different women stepping up and saying enough in 2011