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|It's been a while since I've posted here...been in a relationship that I thought was solid, until I started a new job and met a Capricorn. It was almost instant attraction. I sometimes think the attraction is mutual, but I tell myself that he probably doesn't because he's married. I don't want to disrupt mine or his personal life and I don't want to start any trouble at the office, but I find myself thinking about him a lot.|
He was born New Year's Day, me April 30th.
He tends to be reserved with other people but he's fairly conversant with me. We sometimes have to drive to other locations together and we have some good conversations, but they are all very innocent. We talk about very general things. Also, when we took two clients to lunch, we drove in his vehicle and I sat in the back seat behind him (he was driving). When we parked, I opened the door for myself, but he shut the door for me. After lunch, he opened the back door for me and shut it behind me. Is that a typical courteous Capricorn trait - did I read too much into that?
I've noticed recently that he stops by my office more often than usual to discuss work related things and he calls my extension a couple times of days. When he's traveling, it's not unusual for me to get a call from him....it's all work-related, but I do wonder if he's looking for reasons to call or stop by. When we chat in person, I swear his stares are so intense. It could be just his eyes because they are very striking, but I can't help but wonder if he's undressing me with them!
I know my thoughts are scattered all over this thread, and I'm sorry. It's been a very long time since I've been confused over a man.
The fact that he's married is what is keeping me from flirting with him, but it's getting very hard.
|I think you are treading on very dangerous territory. Since you are in a relationship, I would just ask that you sit back and think about how you would feel if you came to find out that your significant other had their sights set on someone they worked with (or anybody for that matter). I understand we are ALL human and even in relationships we aren't dead; therefore, there may be people we see that we are attracted to, but we don't have to act on that attraction, nor do we need to. When you get involved in situations like this, it all appears innocent and cute at the onset, but several months/years down the road, should the situation progress, there are usually no innocent people left in the wake of this human hurricane.|
|He's at a manager level and I support his region as a compliance specialist, so it's a little harder to avoid him altogether. I can't chose to ignore his calls or his visits too much because I don't want to be looked at as being unfriendly, especially if I am reading too much into all of this.|
Something that happened today, we work for a company that operates ocean based equipment and we're preparing for Hurricane Irene. About 12 of us at the office were asked to volunteer to be on call at the office in 8 hour shifts. I found out today that he signed up for my shift.
I am very confused and don't want to read too much into anything for fear of hurting my reputation at the office.
|I think you guys are misconstruing MY intentions here. I'm not making any moves on this person, instead I'm asking you all if 1) I'm reading too much into his actions and 2) about Capricorn men in general.|
Nowhere have I said I want to make any moves in the wrong direction. I have said I think about him a lot, so maybe I should not have said that. What I meant by that is I think about his actions, comments, etc a lot.
When I said I don't want to hurt my reputation at office, I meant that I don't want to assume he's flirting with me and confront him, only to find out he was only being him - thus making the office environment unnecessarily tense.
|I hear what you are saying Houstonpeach, I think that where the confusion may lie, is in the fact that he is married, so in most peoples eyes (I may be wrong); regardless if he is/was interested/flirting/professing his undying love - it's not really a good thing, seeing as how he is married, so I'm a bit confused regarding this line, "I don't want to assume he's flirting with me and confront him, only to find out he was only being him - thus making th eoffice environment unnecessarily tense."|
Playing the Devil's Advocate here, let's say he WAS flirting with you and he does express some intentions towards you that are clearly NOT work related - then what? He's still married, you are still in a relationship. I'm not telling what to do or not do, and honestly, I'm trying to think if I know of any Cap men, and I maybe can think of one or two, so I don't know if this is just the way they are (ie, like Libras are huge flirts), so I can't answer that. What I can say is that if, in fact, he is interested in you, and you are with him, then it's likely only going to complicate each of your lives.
I get you work with him and want to continue in a peaceful environment. My recommendation would be for you to continue doing your work, and not being mean, cold or anything like that, but definitely making your OWN concerted effort to not put yourself in precarious situations with him. BUT, with that being said, if he is down, it sounds like (and please correct me if I am wrong), it sounds like you would be down too...so, with that, I will continue with my caution to you. You are an adult and can and will do what you chose...
|a little update to those you might be interested...|
When I realized that he signed up for the same shift as me for hurricane coverage, I made up something to the boss to get me to switch to another day. I figured being alone with him for a 8 hour shift would be somewhat awkward. I do have an overnight trip planned with him within the next couple days, that's something I cannot get out of because we both have to network with the clients we're meeting with. Since we work for a non-profit company, we have to watch how much money we spend on travel, so the boss asks that we try to combine traveling. If that weren't the case, I'd probably booked a flight rather than driving with him. It's a 4 hour drive one way...
|He may be just trying to strike up a friendship, or he may be after more. I'm not sure. I'll tell you this though, there are two kinds of Capricorn guy.. the ones who will be totally loyal to the woman they love as long as she is with him, and the kind who will marry a woman to have a family life at home, then recreationally nail anything else that strikes their fancy if they think they can get away with it.|
Friendship? Fine. If that ends up being what he's after we make great friends. If he starts trying to get into your pants though, DO NOT DO IT. He can promise you the moon, but if he's that unfaithful to the woman he's with, he'll be that unfaithful to the women in his life for the rest of his days... his loyalty is only to himself.
Some of us are pretty honorable and old fashioned. Others are very opportunistic, manipulative, and self centered. Make your decisions wisely.
|Yes, I think he's after friendship...he just is comfortable around me (I've heard Taurus and Capricorn have a magnetic pull?). The business trip was open and friendly. He did ask alot of 'get to know you' questions that I answered. We talked about our significant others. He asked me about general things like my favorite kind of food, favorite movie, favorite celebrity crush, etc. One point was a little awkward but I worked through it. We both have iPhones and we got on the topic of music - we seem to have the same taste in music. His car has the capability to plug in the Iphone and play music thru the stereo. He asked if he could plug in my Iphone and I said sure. He said "you can tell a lot about a person by the music they listen to". So as he was scroling thru my playlists, which is quite varied, he said "Ah, HoustonPeach has a wild and kinky side, nice." I just chuckled, wasn't sure what to say to that. He plugged his Iphone in and played what he said were his 3 favorite songs - all were love songs. I found that odd to play these seductive love songs with a colleague, but I like music, so at the time I didn't think much about it.|
He also made a comment that if his wife decided one day that she didn't want to be married anymore that he'd be OK with it. Again, another odd comment, but I chalked all of his talk up to just opening up with me and saw me as being his friend/ally in the workplace.
|The love songs... mentioning a "what if" about his wife leaving him and him being okay about it? That guy is feeling you out as more than just a workplace buddy imho. Keep your eyes on it. You are a big girl, I can't tell you what to do, but just remember - He will never be any more faithful to any woman than he is to his own wife right now. |
|Hmm, I'm not sure he is feeling me out. I just think that he's comfortable with me as a workplace ally. I think he's just a big ole sap! lol|
Posted by cowpuncher
^^This...and since cowpuncher is a male capricorn, I would heed his advice.
|yep,he's definitely feelin' ya out.|
Summon all of your bull power and resist the charm,peach.