Taurus Man Says He Needs to Be Single?!

myonlyappeal
I'm a Scorpio woman (Libra Rising, Birthdate: November 9, 1988) who first met a Taurus man (Birthdate: April 25, 1988) in 2007. We had an immediate connection, both on an intellectual friendship level and a sultry romantic level. I had never met anyone I was so attracted to in every way. I fell head over heels for him, and it was obvious we felt the same. However, we were both in relationships and remained friends until he came to visit me while I was visiting family & I realized I was in love with him.

We started dating a few months later, and within months had moved in together. Everything was great, and I mean really great, for about a year - until he was laid off - I still had a job, and things got really rough. He started behaving like a child, drinking dangerously, and his temper was off the charts. Sometimes he would go out and not come home. I know he didn't cheat on me, but he acted like he didn't care. I broke up with him, moved out, and a month later he said he wanted to try again.

Fine, sounds great, he asks me to move in again...and a year later I realized I would have to move a few hours away to finish college. He was supposed to go with me (was unemployed again - not by any fault of his own, he's a dedicated & hard worker) but then changed his mind. I was really confused when he (not me!) decided he wanted to try long-distance. A few months later - this past April - we had a fight over the fact that he barely contacted me at all. He didn't speak to me for a week, and finally he called me to break up. I thought that was that, and was absolutely heartbroken. Mutual friends told us that he was upset too.

I visited this past weekend and we accidentally slept together. He was kind, loving...very clear that he still cared for me and loved me. But when we spoke on that Sunday, he said he just "needed to be single." What does that mean? I believe this man is the love of my life - any advice? I thought Taurus men were supposed to be consistent, but it just seems like he consistently lets me down!
RoseTheTaurus
It's interesting how when you tell people something they don't want to hear, they act as if your speaking a foreign language. It's pretty clear. The timing is horrible. Relationships take a lot of time and work. This is evident in your fighting about the lack of contact. He is obviously not happy with where he is in his life right now. So he just "needs to single". I personally can get drained by the devotion, commitment, and obligation relationships can take from me. I can't imagine taking the time to love someone properly while I'm going through a very stressful time in my life.
BigGirlPanties
By his saying he *needs* to be single I think he is saying to you he cant give you something he hasnt got. He has no emotional energy to dispurse into nursing and caring a relationship. It doesnt mean he doesnt love you.

Its like a man who was once an olympic runner, but whose had a terrible accident (job loss, stress, whatever, and is now in a wheelchair. He may want to run, or even just walk, but he cant. he isnt capable.


He hasnt got it to give.

Id suggest no more contact, for your own good. But...I would like to know why you call is "accidentallt" sleeping together? Thats a cover up in denial.....
ArticleL
Posted by RoseTheTaurus
It's interesting how when you tell people something they don't want to hear, they act as if your speaking a foreign language. It's pretty clear. The timing is horrible. Relationships take a lot of time and work. This is evident in your fighting about the lack of contact. He is obviously not happy with where he is in his life right now. So he just "needs to single". I personally can get drained by the devotion, commitment, and obligation relationships can take from me. I can't imagine taking the time to love someone properly while I'm going through a very stressful time in my life.


+1

Explain how you accidently treetrunked each other -.-
SensualCancerChika
Ohh man.. I am in similar situation.

I think you have to just let go...let him think his things through. He does care for you but does not want to hurt you by not giving you his all. The mistake I think in your situation is sleeping with him and I'm sorry but you can't accidently sleep with somebody... You slept with him becuase you both were caught up in the moment and of course you both have feelings for eachother its natural.

I dealt with a taurus man and he pretty much told me he was no good for me that he is doing a bad job in being a man and doesn't want to involve me in his problems. I had to respect that he can't be 100% with me and i had to let him go. Yes it hurts but eventually you will see he was doing you a favor. I have learned with this taurs man that if things are not right in their lives they will push away. I dont know how your taurus is but mine wanted to take me out to nice places and give me nice things but he couldn't do that. When he feels like he is less than a man his stubbornness kicks in and becomes a mean person. I usually stay away when this happens. I give him space when he needs to fix whats going on inside of him and they just need time. If you don't want to deal with the back and forth the back and forth then move on, because he is going to continue to do that until he is sure of himself. Its just my opinion.
myonlyappeal
Thank you all for your comments. I think you all are right and I should just get over him. He's still treating me like a "best friend," says he doesn't want to lose me...but my Scorpio self is having a hard time seeing through that and just moving on like I should. I know he loves me, but he can't love me the way I deserve/want to be loved.

Stupid Taurus puppy dog eyes.

...Drinks + ex in the vicinity + emotional black-out drunk = waking up the next morning having accidentally had sex with each other and not remembering it. He said all those things the next morning. I refuse to get drunk around him from now on - and the easiest way to do that is to let him be in his city & I'll be in mine, hours away.
myonlyappeal
...Ugh. And then I always wonder if it's worth waiting around. Somebody please just post a giant sparkling "NO" so I can just get it into my stubborn Scorpio noggin.
Imhisgarl
Hey... I think the question here isnt 'should I wait around or walk away', but rather 'am I even able to walk away?'
If you are, by all means, then do so. It will save you so much heartache. On the other hand, if you're convinced he is the man of your life, then he is worth waiting for.

People will hate me for encouraging you to wait, but given the fact that Tauruses are just gonna be all or nothing, what choice do you have? Yes they want everything to be perfect with their woman. They want to pay for stuff. They want to offer them romantic nights in clean sheets. They have to be in charge. They need the stability of a job. Otherwise they just feel like they don't deserve you, and although it makes them sad, they see no other way but leave. That's apparently how they work, so don't expect any sort of commitment if he hasnt got a job, or savings, or if his life is in chaos for any other reason...

The real thing to look at is his feelings. If he still cares for you, if he says he loves you, then you're probably the one he is thinking of when he's thinking of love. And that puts you in a good spot for the future. Again, only wait around for a Taurus if you think he is reaaaaaally important and worth it.

I'm in a similar situation myself. Been waiting around for a loooong time. We are not dating, but he keeps in touch (about every two days) and whenever we hang out we behave like a couple (except that there hasnt been any sex since we broke up). But we kiss, hug, hold hands, cuddle... he tells me he loves me alllll the time. But then he also says we can't be together *right now*
And the right now has been going on forever... and well, granted his life was such a mess last year, there has been progress since then, but he needs more time I know so "everything is perfect". All this to say there is hope. But you have to decide whether it's worth the waiting and worrying and doubting that goes with it. I cry every day, this is not fun, and the day he tells me his feelings have changed then I will disappear. I just wait because to me love is what matters most.... and also because I checked his chart and this negative period should end in October. So hopefully not much longer to wait now!

If you decide to wait for your man, will you pm me so we can follow up on each other? Support would be awesome.
Friction
hey, I'm treetrunked up right now, but please give me some emotional support and while you are here, I just need someone to hold onto...cause I know I got ya with my ringfinger.





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