Pisces Male driving Virgo female absolutely crazy!
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9/8/2005 10:55:12 AM
|Hi For all you Virgo women with Pisces men please offer some help|
I broke up with my Pisces male in April (well it all started in Feb) as he strayed. But since then and its now Sept he's texted, emailed, called and left voicemails but wont say sorry or ask me to come back, But he wont leave me alone. He makes up silly excuses to contact me like cd's, old pictures & random crap, ANYTHING HE CAN THINK OF and this has been every week since April no word of a lie. I have explained we can never be friends but he's still contacting me. Recently he arranged a meeting for us to talk and then cancelled it. I was gutted.
Now here is where I need help. I am madly in love with him and would do anything (apart from beg) to get him back but not back to stray again back for good. We were meant to be moving in this year and we had been together for almost 2 years it had a few problems with friends but other than that it was bliss. I told him I Loved him first and months later he said he did out of the blue so I know it was real we were driving home. Honestly at first it felt like he fell straightaway but I was cautious. He has been hurt before so didn't trust easily and so had I.
He says he don't love me but everything he does says he does and I know he does cause apart from this one incident he treated me like a queen and called me his wife and I feel we are meant to be. I feel its his pride that he wont let him say he was wrong plus he cares to much about friends, of which 2 had told him I am not the one.
Why the mind games and what the hell is problem why is he in self-destruct mode. He's even admitted to me that his dream is to settle down and have a family but he thinks he messed it up with me. Just to add he is 30 and desperately wanted me to have kids now he throwing it all away – why! Apologies for the long message
9/9/2005 7:05:03 AM
|I don't think you should look at that as a Pisces thing - but a man thing. I am seeing a Virgo male - well to say the least, that commitment phobia is there with him as well. When you come across a man like that - there is nothing you can do. Either wait it out - and don't pressure him. I think by in large - men are fearful of commitment, the responsibilities that come with that. The loss of freedom - and let's face it - woman change after a man has declared himself.... we get to be owners and want to take charge.... and try to change him.|
Men are simple - not complicated. Women complicate them. By trying to shape and mold them - the Virgo I know - I don't bother him. He's grouchy, set in his ways, insecure, off and on, critical, nitpicky, but he's also loving, caring, helpful, passionate, funny. Yes I adore him, yes I love him, but change him? NEVER.
9/9/2005 8:59:37 AM
|Hi your advice is appreciated. I guess it is a choice of wait it out and see and to some degree I guess thats what I'm doing, however I cant wait forever as its been going on long enough and the longer it goes the more I fear it wont happen although I have to admit I cant see him leaving me alone anytime soon. Im just wondering if he being selfish and trying to make sure I dont see anyone else as Im too preocupied with him or if it his feelings getting the better of him.|
I will take on board that who he is- is who he is and I cant change him but at the same time we both have stuff we could learn from each other and make better.
time will tell I guess.
9/9/2005 9:29:01 AM
|Virgo/Pisces is said to be a pretty good match. The watery Pisces is somewhat sensitive with Virgo's critical nature. But there is nothing that you can do about his fears. The Virgo that I know - I just take it as it comes to some degree. We are both older - he just turned 58 this past Friday and I am 54, for us there is no time frame. We've both been married before and got burned... but he's a piece of work I can tell you. LOL. Relationships are difficult for some people - only you will know when to stop waiting. But don't pressure him or try to cling. I find that men want to do things their way - and women like to clamp down - two different emotional levels for one thing. But I do think love takes time to grow and develope over a period of time. For me it took me a while to discover that I loved this Virgo that I see. And for him as well. We have had our ups and downs and it was mainly me wanting more and him running scared. But I found that if I left him alone to figure things out, it would be better and it has gotten better over the years.|
9/9/2005 10:07:15 AM
|Well In all of this it has been him who contacts me. I pine for him but don't dare call. Listening to myself is the best option but you sometime wonder if you are leading yourself astray.|
These are his issue to work out and so for now I should just get on with my life. Its funny as what you said is what he used to say al the time to me.
Love takes time to grow and according to him you have to go through things together to really love each other. I agree Love grows over time but as the saying goes it doesn't take a whole day to recognise sunshine.
I shall leave him to his devices I just need to figure out if I should even entertain him when he contacts me or cut off his supply completely.
Its real hard work even when I was with him but for some reason I felt and still feel we were worth it.
9/9/2005 10:42:58 AM
|You know what happened to me in all of my 54 years? This is scary, I understand men. Oh, not all of their "quirks" but for the most part I do. When you've been single for a long time - and you talk to different men, as friends, or maybe in a casual dating thing - listen to them. Really listen to them. I've been single for over 16 years. Have no desire really to remarry at this point. I never say never, but no plans.|
He told you right - he has to be the one to decide. I think younger women tend to forget. You get caught up in what you want - and how you feel, but you have to take the other person into consideration also and what they think and feel. Men tend to get left out of the equasion when women start to plan.