Virgo man leading me on then shutting me out!

11/4/2012 3:54:38 AM | More
mizzcappie112

Hello i am a 22yr old cappie gal whose been with a 25yr old Virgo man for 7months. At the beginning of our relationship everything was great. Now he is totally ignoring me. I met him through a mutual friend and at first he would stare at me and ask me questions about my life and my 5yr old daughter. He lived above my friend so whenever i saw him he would always compliment me say i look beautiful and such. So one day i sent him a message on fb saying "hi ive.been meaning to tell you that i think your a handsome guy and would like to know more about you. If your interested give me a.call some time" he responded and asked if id like to hang out.

We hung out and talked alot about our expectations in a relationship which were that we could be friends and hang out for now. We hung out alot aftet that had lots of laughs and fun. About a month later he asked if id be his girl. I said yes of course. He introduced me to his friends and his parents. I felt good . We had a pregnancy scare and was instructed to abort (not my choice) he said we were too young and he enjoy s being around my daughter. Anywho i did this for him and never mentioned it again. We would text and talk all the until about two months before it ended. By the way he told me he loved me a few times. At any rate towards the end i noticed he was distamt from mie and when i asked him what thr problem was he would say things like he was worthy of my love or that i deserve better. One night we had a long talk and almost broke up. He told me that he alwaya dreamed that one day he would meet a girl who had no attachments (a baby) and they would go through all of that together. He also was crying and said for the firat time he thinks he actually really is in love and just saying it. After that things seemed to be ok then we didnt see eachother for 3Weeks. he told me he had been busy. We finally hung out snd had sec and when he left it was the same thing. He was distant and when i would ask he what the issue was he would tell me all he is always thinking of me and really does love me but the novelty of our relationship has worn off. I told him maybe we should take things slow and b friends. He agreed. He said that i deserve better then him. I told him lately how i've felt used for a booty.call because lately we would not see or talk. Have sex and do it all over again. This upset him and he said you have a child thats not mine i just see no future. Now he wont talk to me at . Help me please
11/4/2012 6:07:49 AM | More
dimitri

hello my dear
you are going through a ordeal
this man sees you in relation to him
and not him in relation to you
has he ever asked you how he can fit into your life?
11/4/2012 6:17:30 AM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

The user who posted this message has hidden it.

11/4/2012 6:22:03 AM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

This is tough but when a man says to a woman "you deserve better" that's code for I'm not into you anywhere, I don't know if it was the pregnancy scare (I'm sure that played a part in the break because he had time to think if he wanted a future with you) thus the following statement aligns itself with that " He told me that he alwaya dreamed that one day he would meet a girl who had no attachments (a baby) and they would go through all of that together. " I'm figuring he thought about a ready made family, having a baby with you and most likely feel it's too much responsibility and as he said he wanted his first child to be with a woman he's developing a family with.

"He also was crying and said for the firat time he thinks he actually really is in love and just saying it"

Typical behavior of a guy that's about to dump a woman thus him not contacting you for 3 weeks align itself with that, sometimes we just can't foresee what's going to happen in a relationship, we don't know what a guy is made of until the tough times appear and if he's not in it for the long haul he becomes distant and almost gone then gone for good.

"the novelty of our relationship has worn off."

Very honest statement from him, LISTEN TO HIM--LISTEN TO WHAT HE'S SAYING TO YOU. It's over, unless there is something that can build mutual attraction back up between the both of you he's done.

"This upset him and he said you have a child thats not mine i just see no future. Now he wont talk to me at . Help me please"

It's over, your child is a huge part of who you are as a person, if he can't accept your child then he can't accept you.

I can't say he used you for a booty call but clearly he was just in it temporarily for fun and sex, once the fun wore off he was gone, I suggest you learn from this experience and before you get heavy with a guy make sure he's in it for the long haul if that is what you want for your future.

A suggestion to help you move on is to either block his number and/or delete his phone number, this doesn't have to be permanently but just so you give yourself time to heal and also help you not feel the urge to chase him desperately displaying he's your sole priority, please don't subject yourself to anymore rejection from this man. A man that loves you won't let you go, they won't willingly hurt you--let you down nor reject you, once a man begins to display he's not into it anymore, let him go, if he's truly in love with you he'll find his way b
11/4/2012 6:23:44 AM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

Ugh typo, meant to say code for he's not into you anymore.

Cut off---they won't willingly hurt you--let you down nor reject you, once a man begins to display he's not into it anymore, let him go, if he's truly in love with you he'll find his way back to you.
11/4/2012 6:55:49 AM | More
mizzcappie112

Yah my dumb phone screws up my typing. Thank you for the help i thought thats what it was. im hurt however i know ill be ok. I just dont get why he started something and abandoned it so quick. He kept tellin me what a good woman i am and how id make a great wife and how he knows that i put forth a lot of effort into makin my relationship n the person im with happy. But i just dont understand him anymore. I feel better not being with him because now im not worried about whats going on with him.
Funny thing on top of this is that i have a friend who is a Virgo male that ive known for 5yrs and he n i messed around on and off only as friends. We talk occasionally and have almost everything in common. I have avoided a realationship with him because i like him(crazy right) he always asks me when am i going to have his baby and when are we going to get married and that he loves my daughter and i. he also tells me i am the only person he sees himself seriously with.at any rate he called me the day this happened and we had the most truthfully honest convo. I told him ive always cared for him but for now i just want to be friends given the situation im in. so now im even more terrified of being in a relationship. Im just sick of games and dont feel like i can tell whats going on in peoples heads. I feel like he's sincere because everytime we talk hr makes me feel great i just don't want my loneliness to get the best of me.

11/4/2012 7:25:21 AM | More
mizzcappie112

He never asked me
he fits he just said dont need.him because im independent. The last few texts Life just sucks sometimes but just think ahead..I'm not into saying everything's gonna be OK and butter like that because its cliche and your gonna hafta go through even more butter before it gets better..but I can tell u that u are a person who isn't happy in your situation and as long as u have that dissatisfaction it will drive u to eventually be in a better situation..it takes time and it comes in phases..
I feel like I can't give u wat u want in a relationship sometimes because I am a person who enjoys solitude..and I know it makes u unhappy..u don't deserve that..I know your intentions are good and u are true and put forth much emotional energy and effort into a relationship.you might feel butterty sometimes but your a good young women I guess just being freinds for the time being is logical.we can spend time as freinds without the petty sex and stuff.we should spend time working on our own personal life's in order to become more whole.. Two half's don't always make a whole..but two wholes make something better ...
11/4/2012 8:53:54 AM | More
dimitri

a good barometer for feelings is distance

the tables will turn
and he will be in your position one day
even by tomorrow
that's how fast things change
and you will be on to better things by then
believe me
life is irony[quote]
he'll ask himself
over and over
perhaps with someone else
'am i not man enough?"
you of coarse,
know the answer
to that.
11/4/2012 9:24:53 AM | More
sv

29 years old male from Yurop  

Virgos don't want to be with girls who have offspring from previous relationships, especially when in their 20s - after having a family of their own, it changes of course. This might not be a Virgo trait but for all signs, I'm not sure.
11/4/2012 5:11:53 PM | More
RealTalk

female

Go by his ACTIONS. Not by what he's saying. Love is action. He's SAYING I love you, but does he show you that? No. A man who is REALLY in love is not going to leave you because you have a child regardless to how old you are, or how old your child is for that matter.

I'm sure he likes you but he has no interest anymore because you have a child. He probably thought he could handle it & just came to a conclusion that it was just too much.
11/4/2012 9:06:45 PM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

MizzCappie cut your losses, he's not good friend material either, trying to be friends with someone whose dumped you, rejected you makes no sense at all, move on hun, there are better men out there that won't lead you on, get sex and reject you later, no way you should consider being friends with that kind of guy, being his friend creates bad energy, because now he just figures your desperate and going to attempt to change the rules back to the way things were before it ended, he'll always be emotionally unavailable and guarded and when he's not being that way it's solely on HIS terms, exhausting.

11/5/2012 7:06:51 AM | More
mizzcappie112

Thank you all for your words of wisdom. he has tried to call me several times but i ignore all of his calls. I plan to keep to myself and just forget as much as i can about him. This hurt me more than being mauled by the Leo (my daughters father) but im a strong cappie and will move on. Thanks again to all of you.
11/5/2012 7:42:41 AM | More
tiki33

female

Oxytocin, when it’s got you hooked on

You'll be fine, you really will and if he want back in even as a friend then he'll have to be the one to do the leg work to earn his way back into your life, don't allow him to take you for granted anymore not even as a friend.

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