virgo man and taurus woman...compatible?

liana
I am taurus and my husband is virgo and we have been married for 5 years. I am 28 and he is 41 and we have two children together. We met at work while working in seperate departments with him pursuing me with a flower on valentine's day, which I was just getting over a lenghty relationship with a cancer who I was so in love with from high school, but was currently in the navy and the long distance ruined us. We dated for about a month and he asked me to move in and I got pregnant about a month after that. I had our son and months later, after much pressure from me and compromise from him, we got married. He has a daughter from a previous relationship as well. Anyways, 5 years later, I am still wondering if he was ever in love with me because things happened so quickly for us and I have always been attracted to him on many levels, but feel that he limits us from having the "in love" experieice by not being intimate and vulnerable and just opening up(about real stuff-not sports). I know he trusts me, but now I am having all this doubt about my role and how I compare to his past gf's because I feel that surely one of them would have seen this side of him that I may never get to see and I feel so hurt to think that someone could have touched him this way and not me. I feel connected on an intuitive level with him like no one else (and I have dated cancer and pisces), but I need the connection, the knowledge that I am "the one" that he loves like no other because I am special to him. I never had to ask the cancer this question ever or the pisces, I always knew. I feel so unimpressive to him many times, even though I am a full-time working mom and still keep the house in order. He has hobbies and thinks that I am lacking happiness because I don't indulge in my hobbies like him, but that was before the kids, who has the time or energy to do hobbies after a day like mine and he knows i get way too lazy for that sort of thing. But if he wants, I will go out and socialize and be happy with others, but I did not get married to live two seperate lives. I don't want to cling on him, but I want to be more that his tv watching buddy. Please any virgo men, any advice? Should I just chalk this up to he was never in love with me, never wiil be and move on. I have heard many times that virgo and taurus can be nothing more thatn friends and lack passion, but I love him so much, he really is everything I am not andI would be hurt if didn't feel the same. Pls help
P-Angel
"after much pressure from me and compromise from him, we got married"


There's your answer, right there ^^^^^^^^^^^^






" .. if he wants, I will go out and socialize and be happy with others, but I did not get married to live two seperate lives. I don't want to cling on him, but I want to be more that his tv watching buddy"


You do realize that he's a dude ..... and not a girl.
liana
p-angel, we had just had our son and I did tell him that I did not want to stay in our current living arrangement with my child and we should get married, he could have said no and I would be a single mother, but he agreed. Although, these are never really the terms by which a woman wants to marry because look at me now, unsure of where I stand. He says he didn't marry me for the kids and I know he didn't have to marry me. Yea--I know he's not a dude, so in acknowledging this, do I forfeit my needs? I get a good portion of dude time with him, are you telling me this is the REAL connection. This is being in love? Comfortable enough with me to not even TRY anymore?
SensingTaurus(f)
From my experience, female taureans and male virgos don't really gel... the conversation is good, the shared love of nature is good ... and that's about as far as it goes.
Taurean women love to be romanced, spoilt, shown affection openly, and they like their men, sensual, passionate and emotionally connected in bed. Sorry, I just don't see you getting that from a virgo male.
liana
thank you sensing taurus and fumingli scorp. Sensing Taurus, what you say is the battle I think I fight the most, can I give up what I think I NEED to live? And what would you say is the best for taurus? Fumingli Scorp, it is true about either I accept that space or make myself unhappy, which I had made myself miserable all by myself(how pathetic right). And i felt sooo bad comparing him to the cancer because I know they are so different, but it made me think that I am not connecting fully with my husband and not reaching him when I think of the closeness I have felt in other relationships. I also found out that i am taurus sun, pisces moon and he is virgo sun, taurus moon. According to my sun and moon, I am highly sensitive and emotional which is true, but i try and repress a lot. I was never so much into signs until I realized that my relationship with my husband seemed to be missing something. Fumingli, since you are scorpio, you must have connected with your ex-husband virgo on a deep level, are you seriously saying that YOU were not able to bring out a passion in him? I just feel like if your sign is not having luck, I am very discouraged. I do not want to feel like I am chasing anyone for affection.
liana
and just like you said sensing taurus, we like our men emotionally connected in bed, so i guess my question really is do virgo men emotionally connect with their partner in bed or not? or do they just take more time to connect? I know it would bother me if I felt he has the connected with another in bed before and cannot do the same with me for whatever reason.
P-Angel
lol
liana
thanks fumingli, that is it---what i learned through him is that i have endless freedom and i am learning to be myself , but unfortunately i feel so lonely- a lot. I feel like honestly, how will he ever really KNOW me if he will not value something about me that I feel makes up so much of who I am. I really think that this is the part that really hurts me is that I guess he can just disregard emotions right?, or he doesn't put much value on them. Well, how would I feel when I am the opposite and I am empathy to a fault and sensitive? I feel like he does not value my nature and what makes me unique? but I have seen that I bring out a much softer side in him that only I get to see really and it is beautiful. He has a good heart and I feel like I never want to hurt him because I actually can see just how fragile he really is. He has experience physical abuse from his mother growing up and sexual abuse from his older brother while growing up and I hurt for him and I don't want him to be trapped in himself all his life. I think he is always sad deep down and it hurts me.
liana
I have turned off emotions too, but just because they were too much to bear. I have a specific emoathy for children and animals where I cannot bear to see either in pain or hurting, it crushes me and pushes me ito such an abyss in my mind. I become consumed with the feelings and internalize them and delve into the psyche of the victim and live it out sort of and always ask questions of life and why this innocent being was allowed to hurt and be tortured this way and I do to such a dark and despondent place and can become depressed over it. i know I am THIS weak so I protect myself by shielding myself from certain influences. I know I cannot watch scary movies because I will take everything in too deeply and I will be adversly affected, I know I cannot read certain stories in the newspaper. I remember stories to this day that cut me so deep mostly involving children that I even have to supress them from myself because if I think too long, I will be trapped in my mind in the emotion which will not let me go, like a hell. I think I can understand why my husband would tuck in his emotion, but I view bottled up emotion as a destructive force that will eat him up from the inside. I am not even selfish to want to know his innermost feelings(except about me). But I will one day ask him to write them out on paper to get them out of him--to get the burden off of him---and then burn the papers.
liana
specific empathy
liana
p angel do you have any advice?
P-Angel
No, no advice ... just awarenesses that you haven't even begun to put into a reality yet.

For example ..

"I will one day ask him to write them out on paper to get them out of him--to get the burden off of him"

A Virgo man is not burdened with emotions and needs to write them out ... the reality is YOU are burdened with a want of having him write these out, and need for him to get him out.

The reality is .... you pressured this man into marrying you, and he agreed to do so because it was the right thing to do since you gave birth to his son .. however, that doesn't equal love, or being in love .. it equates to honoring an obligation.

Now you want feelings? And can't understand why he doesn't present feelings to you?

Your relationship is existing exactly within the terms set. Your not going to change the man, your not going to change any other person ... the reality is .... you can only change yourself.
P-Angel
lol, theskys .. shows how pretty unaware you are if you think I give people advice.


Light-switches are right there ... a person can turn on or off, at their choosing .. but, first they have to realize that the switch can only operate at ones own choice, and it cannot be operated by another for you because you want the other to.
P-Angel
What advice is it you would seek, liana?

For the only questions I can gleen out of your posts are asking how to do you proceed in changing the man from being who he is, to who you want him to be.


Apparantly, others would think that there is advice to give you on how to do this, and would also offer it to you, as if you would have a position to stand on to do this >>>>>> ignorance breeds ignorance seems to be a theme to those who are unaware of reality.


Reality Check >>> you cannot change the man, nor any wo/man ... and therefore there is NO real advice a person can give you, even if people think they can .. they cannot >>>> because it's impossible.
P-Angel
liana, there are plenty of women in here, a couple in particular, who will gladly tell you how to play his feelings, manipulate and twist his feelings to get him to respond to you.

However, keep in mind ... the women who tell you this, are the ones who lost the Virgo man.


Hopefully, you'll find what you seek .. just don't forget that ^^^^^^
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