Jokes

Ghetto Spelling Bee Tyreal came home from school disappointed. "I hate English, dem teachers are always changing st

This is technically racist but I LOVE it!!!! Q: What did God say when he made the first Black person? A: Oops, I bur

In a small town, a person decided to open up a brothel, which was right opposite to a church. The Church & its congrega

Last night, my kids and I were sitting in the living room and I said to them, 'I never want to live in a vegetative stat

Her Diary: Tonight, I thought my husband was acting weird. We had made plans to meet at a bar to have a drink.

If you yelled for 8 years, 7 months and 6 days you would have produced enough sound energy to heat one cup of coffee.

Q: What do you do if an epileptic has a fit in the bath? A: Throw your clothes in so they get a wash. -- Once t

See more funny videos and Music Videos at Today's Big Thing.

Ha ha!! ..ozzy's hilarious! ^^

When a prostitute is on all fours and drool is coming out of either side of her mouth I love this joke cos i pictured

a Saggitarean? Who can figure it out?

Your Emoticon is Shocked Maybe you just heard some crazy gossip or saw a really gross website. Either way, the

THE LIE DETECTOR John was a salesman's delight when it came to any kind of unusual gimmicks. His wife Marsha had long

Got this in an e-mail. It's pretty funny. I was a very happy man. My wonderful girl friend and I had been dating for

What is intelligence? Two men were digging a ditch on a very hot day. One said to the other, "Why are we down in thi

Dear Tech support, Last year I upgraded from Boyfriend 5.0 to Husband 1.0 and noticed a distinct slow down in overal

1 Bob Smith, my assistant programmer, can always be found 2 hard at work in his cubicle. Bob works independently, with

There is a factory in Northern Minnesota which makes the Tickle Me Elmo toys. The toy laughs when you tickle it under th

You Should Call Your Boobs "Fire and Brimstone"

I rear ended a car this morning...the driver got out of the other car, and he was a DWARF!! He looked up at me and said

A skinny little white guy gets into an elevator, looks up and sees this HUGE black guy standing next to him. The big gu

Before I lay me down to sleep, I pray for a man who's not a creep, One who's handsome, smart and strong. One who love

Dear Employees, Due to the current financial situation caused by the slowdown in the economy, Management has decided

Two priests are in a Vatican bathroom using the urinals. One of them looks at the other one's penis and notices t

These three old ladies and their dogs were sitting on a park bench having a quiet conversation when a flashe

Why Did the Chicken Cross the Road? SARAH PALIN: Before it got to the other side, I shot the chicken, cleaned and dr

Subject: THANK YOU ALL I just want to thank all of you for your educational e-mails over the past year. I am

Recording - "Hello, Welcome to the Psychiatric Hotline." If you are obsessive-compulsive, please press 1 repeatedly.

The Guardian Angels is an organization committed to the safety and well being of our community. Our mission is to help p

A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he could hardly speak. After mass he asked the monsignor how he had done.

Circumcised (this is priceless!) A teacher noticed that a little boy at the back of the class was squirming a

A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young mothers and their small children; "You all have

The Lie Clock A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, h

Dear Ian : I hope you can help me here. The other day I set off for work leaving my husband in the house watching th

Post yours here hehe, and NO OFFENSE to blondes a twist, I just find em funny. :) This is my fav I think... A b

And We Wonder Why Aliens Don't Visit Us... pfft! If the Government Stops Funding Space Exploration... Ne

CROWD CONTROL .. An AWARD should go to the United Airlines gate agent in Denver, Colorado, for being smart and funny

NICKNAMES If Laura, Kate and Sarah go out for lunch, they will call each other Laura, Kate and Sarah . If Matt , Dave

A husband emerged from the bathroom naked and was climbing into bed when his wife complained as usual, "I have a headach

Your Famous Last Words Will Be: "What we know is not much. What we don't know is enormous." --> WTF!! I th

Now THAT'S WHAT I'M TALKIN ABT!!!!!! :)

Who to hire?? A successful rancher died and left everything to his devoted wife. She was determined to keep the ranch

A penguin walks into a bar and asks the bartender; 'have you seen my brother?' The bartender replies; 'what does he l

Aries English is his second language, grunting is his first. And all he can grunt about is himself, his career, his sp

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won. The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in t

A couple had only been married for two weeks and the husband, although very much in love, couldn't wait to go out on th

A woman, while at the funeral of her own mother, met a guy whom she did not know. She thought this guy was amazing. She

A young ventriloquist is touring the clubs and one night he's doing a show in a small town in Arkansas With his dumm

It doesn't matter what he does, he will never amount to anything! Albert Einstein's teacher to his father, 1895. Rep

A few jokes for the ladies. Fellas please don't take offense, we are simply playing. Enjoy- WAYS TO TURN DOWN UNWANTE

C'mmon guys, what're your best ones? The cheesier, the better!! :)

Dear Friend, The other day I went up to a local Christian bookstore and saw a "honk if you love Jesus" bumper sticke

To get to the other side

So I was...

Did you find this funny? Would love to hear your thoughts. Oh, and read the comments too. They're all adding to it, no s

It's good.

A precious little girl walks into a pet shop and asks, in the sweetest little lisp, "Do you have widdle wabbits?" Th

1. At Lunch Time, Sit In Your Parked Car With Sunglasses on and point a Hair Dryer At Passing Cars. See If They Slow Dow

In a BMW, the pricks are on the inside.

Start at the Green dot, then find your way to the Red dot. Happy Halloween!

Hangover Ratings 1 star hangover No pain. no real feeling of illness. You slept in your own bed and when you wok

TO: MR. JAMES THATCHER BRAND MANAGER, PROCTER & GAMBLE Dear Mr. Thatcher I have been a loyal user of your Al

Jack wakes up with a huge hangover after attending his company Christmas Party. Jack is not normally a drinker, but th

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=KVoKvEnf4wo

1.) Find a man who makes you laugh. 2.) Find a man who is honest. 3.) Find a man who has a good job and can cook. 4.)

http://youtube.com/watch?v=Zf1dHcv9DnM http://youtube.com/watch?v=YsDbOMJOMgQ loooool :p this so funny haha hav

The phone rings at FBI headquarters. "Hello?" "Hello, is this the FBI?" "Yes. What do you want?" "I'm calling to rep

ARIES: "Dear God! Give me PATIENCE and I want it NOW!" TAURUS: "Dear God, please help me accept CHANGE in my life, bu

Yo Mama is so stupid I told her drinks where on the house so she went and got a ladder.

• #1 - No matter how much whisky you've had, you can still Fish. • #2 - You don't have to hide your Fishing magazines

(Folks from Mississippi and Louisiana, please use the form with pictures) • Last name: ________________ (Check app

A beautiful voluptuos woman went to see a doctor. When the doctor saw her all of his professionalism went out the windo

One day, a man was sitting at a bar in Chicago. He looks over and sees this guy who looks exactly like him. He says to t

Two guys were in a locker room taking a shower after a game of squash when one noticed that the other had a huge cork st

What's the difference between stress, tension and panic? Stress is when wife is pregnant, Tension is when girlfriend is

A man checked into a hotel. There was a computer in his room, So he decided to send an e-mail to his wife. However, he

David was away from home on a business trip. His cell phone rang and the caller I.D. let him know that the call is f

Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

Three elderly men are at the doctor's office for a memory test. The doctor asks the first man, "What is three times thre

Ralph went to sleep at his usual bedtime. When he awoke St.Peter was there. St Peter: "Ralph I'm sorry but you died in

1. You lose arguments with inanimate objects. 2. You have to hold on to the lawn to keep from falling off the earth.

1. Symptom: Cold and humid feet. Cause: Glass is being held at incorrect angle (You are pouring the drink on your feet

Act naturally Microsoft Works Holy war Found missing Resident alien Minor Catastrophe Affordable housi

The following is supposedly an actual question given on a university chemistry exam. The answer by one student was so pr

A drunken old guy stumbles into the front door of a bar, walks up to the bartender and says, "Give me a shot of tequila,

A wife wanted a new car she fell in love with, her husband refused to buy, saying it was too expensive. They argued ..

Olny 55% of plepoe can... i cdnuolt blveiee taht I cluod aulaclty uesdnatnrd waht I was rdanieg. The phaonmneal pweor

When our lawn mower broke and wouldn't run, my wife kept hinting to me that I should get it fixed. But, somehow I alwa

In Sunday School, the teacher asked the children, "Which part of you gets to Heaven first, the heart or the head." To

A man is almost about to die As he lay on his deathbed, the man confided to his wife, "I cannot die without telling you

For everyone who has ever had or given an evaluation -- just remember, it could have been worse! These are actual quotes

Think of a number (BETWEEN 3 and 999). Multiply it by 3. Now add 5 to the result.

My friend emailed this to me today... its hilarious :P Virtouso: a person who has special knowledge or skill in

But to you, it might be weird / repulsive.. I thought it was funny cause' my cousins are stupid / hilarius

WARNING, lots of foul language, if you don't like that stuff. His windsuit! ahhaha~ http://www.collegehumor.com/vi