1. My mother taught me TO APPRECIATE A JOB WELL DONE. 'If you're going to kill each other, do it outside. I just finished cleaning.' 2. My mother taught me RELIGION . 'You better pray that this will come out of the carpet.' 3. My mother taught me
Superman and Batman were talking in the pub one night. Superman says, "You'll never believe what happened yesterday. I was flying along over the city, using my X-ray vision to scan for trouble as I normally do, and I happened to glance into Wonder Woma
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God said, "Adam, I want you to do something for Me." Adam said, "Gladly, Lord, what do You want me to do?" God said, "Go down into that valley." Adam said, "What's a valley?" God explained it to him. Then God said, "Cross the river." Adam said
A married couple had been out shopping in the town centre for most of the afternoon. Suddenly, the wife realized that her husband had "disappeared". The somewhat irate spouse called her mate's cell phone and demanded: "Where the hell are you?" Husban
An Irishman, an Englishman and a Scotsman go into a pub. Each orders a pint of Guinness. Just as the bartender hands them over, three flies buzz down and land-- one, two, three-- in each of the pints. The Englishman looks disgusted, pushes his pint awa
I know I have witnessed some really funny, crazy and even scary things while using public transport. Share some of your memorable moments. Living in London, people tend to fall asleep on the tubes and trains rather often. Ill never forget travelling
A new priest at his first mass was so nervous he couldn't stand still. He asked Father Murphy for some advice. Father Murphy replied, "When I'm worried about gettin' nervous on the pulpit, I take a wee bit o' whiskey. Just to calm my nerves." So the n
What do you do when morons are pming you without apparent reason? Block them? Sure! Why didn't I got it before I got it? Now I don't want to go my post to waste. So I hit submit! Please ignore me...
Anyone else in love with ruins and haunted places? Some of them posses a kind of beauty that just touches your heart.
Just saw Tes Danson. She says you are awful miserable human being. He said It doesn't mean I can't be right! Also had heard today All and all - not bad at all! Chime in!
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Well, he rules! Hilarious as hell http://i66.tinypic.com/m8zrs0.jpg http://i67.tinypic.com/sl4u4m.jpg http://i68.tinypic.com/53r3n7.jpg http://i67.tinypic.com/22kcu8.jpg http://i67.tinypic.com/6oh4w3.jpg http://i63.tinypic.com/2iag5so.j
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Jesus went unto the mount of Olives. And early in the morning he came again into the temple, and all the people came unto him; and he sat down, and taught them. And the scribes and Pharisees brought unto him a woman taken in adultery; and when they ha
Jim’s car is swerving all over the road so a cop pulls him over, “Step out of the car” says the cop, “I am going to need you to take a breathalyzer test.” “I can’t”, Jim responds “You see I have very bad asthma, that can set off an attack.” “Alrig
Jerry was at a marriage seminar, and the leader of the seminar, a lady, was asking everybody how long they were married for. When it was Jerry’s turn Jerry said that he was married for almost 50 years. “Wow” the leader gushed “that’s amazing, perh
Two oldies got engaged, and as they were strolling down the street excitedly planning there wedding they passed a drugstore. “Excuse me” the man said to the clerk, “Do you sell medicine for memory problems?” “Sure” replied the clerk “all kinds.”
Jack strode into ‘John’s Stable’ looking to buy a horse. “Listen here” said John, “I’ve got just the horse your looking for, the only thing is, he was trained by an interesting fellow. He doesn’t go and stop the usual way. The way to get him to stop i
John was starving!! He was stuck in a small hick town, lost and hungry. He was happy when he saw a small restaurant coming up on his right. John quickly pulled over, parked his car, and walked inside. John noticed a blackboard with a sign written
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zSi-yCV-gQ4

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I went through a terrible breakup in December. My ex moved on pretty quickly post our breakup and starting hooking up and dating other people. This kind of affected me more and it was then that I did a 30day NC on my ex. Post the NC we started speaking ag
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