| This is something that I've always wondered about...being a nice guy. I've been considered one since I can remember. I've always been the shoulder to cry/lean on. I'm appreciated for my honesty and being genuine. I'm always respectful of others and the first one to step up and help. I love people freely and care for them, sometimes at the expense of myself. I've learned to be balanced and know when to use my masculine and feminine energies. Yet, I always get left or looked over for the bad boys. The funny thing is, I'm no pushover at all. Simply put, I've been told that women simply aren't ready for a man like me...the real thing. Personally, while we may finish last, that is what the best is saved for. I'd like to know your thoughts and experiences ladies. Specifically, your encounters with nice guys and why your are or are not with them. |
Do nice guys really finish last?
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38 years old male
Most people strive to achieve balance wi
| Did some dumb cookiemonster screw you over for a jerk? |
female
| All of the nice guys I can think of are married or in a LTR with nice girls. Like attracts like it seems to me. Maybe you are going after the wrong women or looking in the wrong places for lurve! |
46 years old male from Llandrindod wells, Powys Wales
| nice guys never get any ass. Women like pricks like me. |
| a genuinely "nice" man to me is nice when it is most appropriate to be. one who is nice or overly sensitive all the time is not a man that generally holds my attention. there is such a thing as "too nice" --> too soft. it is basic evolution when discussing the female attraction to a strong, quiet man. the bad boy troublemaker; this is a familiar stereotype because it holds truths in sexual nature. men who are not stronger than I am emotionally are not those that attract me because it goes against my instinctual desire to be cared for. it just doesn't represent a masculine quality with me, ergo I do not feel as protected as I want to be. I think women mostly want and desire men to be that sorta clint eastwood, rough-around-the-edges cowboy with a glint in his eye; a glint that only gives way in the quiet moments of lovers. women want the masculine exterior of that which makes up a "man," with enough sensitivity to feel protected and watched over forever. tbh, it allows me to be more affectionate with a man (and therefore more sexy) when he is not as affectionate as I am. |
31 years old
anybody else wanna be a hero? Sag S
| you need at least a felony or 2 misdemeanors to mess with me. its a case by case basis |
female
Maluca Sagittarius
| Let's be real here. The reason why most nice guys finish last is for the simple fact they chase behind little girls(who really don't know what they want) and cookiemonsteres. In hopes she'll drop a crumb and give him the time of day. Which in the end turns them into 2 types of guys. Type 1 the nice guy who becomes the marker and type 2 the jaded, whiny dude who can't get a date. This just isn't a problem for the fellas. Nice girls get the short end of the stick as well. Possible solution. Nice guy + nice gal need to get up and leave the piranhas and the markers to their own devices. I for one dig nice guys. As long as there is a attraction there and my loins go schwing! I would never entertain a "bad boy". Did my fair share of that in my youth lol. |
36 years old female
Sun Pisces 0.34 Ascendant Taurus 1.3
Posted by Ligeia ^^^This +A. Lord only knows how much I pray I learned my lesson with my last experience |
42 years old female from A Lush Meadow, US of A
In the dead of night, it's the anti-sig.
Posted by Ligeia Oh yeh. |
Posted by Ligeia THIS. I hear so many guys pull out the typical "OH THEY FINISH LAST AND GIRLS LIKE JERKS." Number one- "nice" guys are the same guys who sat back in the corner, being passive as hell, yet manipulative. These guys tend to try to manipulate the situation so she'll "fall" for him. Maybe, JUST MAYBE, if he sticks around and plays "friend" that he'll be able to get it in one day. You can bet your ass that this very same guy will book it as soon as he realizes that he won't get what he wants from you. "Nice" my ass. I call these guys "nice" guys. They aren't nice. They're manipulative jerks who pose as "nice" to get their way. And I really wouldn't want to be with someone who pulls such crap. They may be nice overall, but if they're going to approach relationships in such a fashion, they can get out. The other type of nice guy is the type that chase after the wrong chicks. You know that dumb cookiemonster who constantly chases the jerk? Well this is the male version. I've known perfectly decent guys who chase after the wrong girl, then proclaim that "girls like jerks." Well, if she's stupid enough to go after the wrong guys and shows no signs of improving, MOVE ON. She's the female jerk equivalent. YOU'RE chasing after this cookiemonster. She keeps you around as a friend, stringing you along, all while getting with other guys. Why are you blaming women when you're the one actively chasing someone who isn't worth your time?? Go find a decent girl and stop chasing after an unavailable girl. Nice guys ARE appreciated. Just don't be all manipulative and wussy about it. It's a turn off. |
Posted by 25thDecan(shortened to save space) This is type 2 that Ligeia mentioned. Guys like you are absolute poison. I saw a huge change in my ex after he hung out with guys like you. He went from a relatively nice, sweet guy, to this jaded, crude, sexist douchebag because he works around a lot of jaded, older men. It's pretty sad. Especially considering that before, even though we didn't work out, I knew he'd make a decent guy for someone some day. Now? Who knows. There's no reason to become jaded and bitter because you did it wrong. I'd think you'd just consider it lesson learned and avoid that type if girl. It's that simple. I can't help but wonder if it's the lovely male ego that gets bruised and butthurt because it didn't get its way... It's fine to become jaded about the cookiemonsteres and to avoid them at all costs once you see the signs, but to take it out on the entire gender shows how emotionally immature you are. |
27 years old male from United Consciousness of Yugoslavia
. . . tendre barbare
| It's a question of shifting priorities. Little girls want bad guys, mature girls want men. |
41 years old female from Michigan
Totally freakin' awesome, LOVE being me!
| Nice people will always "finish last" until they figure out why they keep wanting/are attracted to douchebags/cookiemonsteres, and stop. It's not gender or sign related -- it's a human condition. |
46 years old male from Llandrindod wells, Powys Wales
| Dear Double Think you now I get it a nice guy like Clint Eastwood like in UNFORGIVEN |
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