Sun: Leo / Moon: Pisces loosing reality

Hey everyone, hope you're having a cheerful day!

I've come here to seek some insights and possibly advice around my friend.

My sun is Leo, moon is Taurus, ascendant is Gemini.. however this isn't about me, this is about a friend of mine.

My friend is also a Leo... he has a Pisces moon, Virgo Merc, Libra Venus, and I'm not quite sure of his ascendant.

We get along great, with some exceptions:
- I'm athletic, he's lazy. He says he wants to get exercise and such, never does. His family is overweight in general, so considering recent studies, his weak will to exercise could just be due to his family rather than his pisces moon 😛
- Our virgo merc's clash sometimes. Sometimes, not all the time. Usually he actually thinks I'll do something better than he will, which I will. I attribute this to his pisces moon in some way. However, once in a while, he'll want to do something himself rather than thinking I'll do it better, which is what I would have expected with his leo sun / virgo merc.

So, I met him almost 6 years ago. We met in school.. he wasn't a social guy at all. He never really did well in school, ever since I met him. He got diagnosed with ADD, which could explain something, however considering how many misdiagnoses of ADD/ADHD there are in the US currently (not to mention we have quite a few times more diagnoses than any other country), I don't think that he just has a problem that can't be fixed. He took drugs for it.. he says it helps him concentrate, but he still didn't do well in school, so his concentration must have only marginally increased. Might as well had not been taking drugs at all, in my opinion.. it wasn't fixing anything.

So, in the coming years, world of warcraft came along. Well, before it came along, a buddy of mine @ blizz got me into the beta (which is the testing stage before they release a product). I thought it was pretty cool, of course.. my friend really liked it.

A few years down the line, he's just playing World of warcraft all the time, still in school, still doing bad in school, still not initiating a social life dispite my efforts to connect him with people.

A year later, he quit school, now he plays WoW all the time. So far, he has 2400 hours logged. 72 hours of the past 7 days has been dedicated to WoW, so it's still definitely a problem.
..continued..

He'll turn 18 in august.
About a year ago, he mentioned to me that he'd be moving out when he turned 18, and getting an apartment. Sounded like a plan to him.. sounded like a plan lacking details to me.
He doesn't have a job... just plays WoW, as I say. I can almost guarantee that he won't move out and get a job when he's 18.
He has been working on getting a GED, but I doubt that's really something that he finds important. You see, he isn't in touch with reality.

So.. Any suggestions? He's clearly not in touch with reality, not that he has ever been too in touch with reality. That's what I want for him, but it's probably not what's best for him.. but he does need to get somewhat closer to reality than he is.

WOW...leoman, that post hits close to home. one of my relatives is like him. i know you want to help him, and depending on how close you are, i'm sure there are times when you get really frustrated with him. but unfortunately there's nothing you can do about it but be honest about where his life is going. he may only change when he realizes he's become a loser.

i guess that was pretty harsh. i didn't mean to offend you, leoman, by insulting your friend, but that's the way i see it.

i'm 19, prringLeo. i'm not going to sugarcoat it, if this kid keeps doing what he's doing, he's going to end up a loser, for lack of a better term. i've seen it happen. and that may be where he needs to get before he tries to change his behavior. just being honest.

and please don't patronize me. i hate that.

*shakes head*

yes, let's give them a chance.

antibling, you know you like catfights. don't deny it.

i agree that you should be there for him. but it has to be his choice to change, you can't make him.

chicks?
Yeah, this would motivate him. Problem is, unlike most teenagers, he isn't at school. He doesn't see anyone except his family on a daily basis, so someone he's going to be interested in enough to motivate him isn't going to happen in his current situation.

not sure what kind of advice you can expect though, as there seem to be way too many factors still unseen.
Yeah? Well, I'm just trying to help him. We were great friends when he didn't play WoW.. and then wow came along, and he has faded out of hanging out with everyone he did. I hate to see him in a bad situation later in life, that's why I'm trying to help him.

what's the deal w/your friend's parental influence? do they even give a damn? what's his social status? (i hate asking those class questions, but...) what did he take for ADD/ADHD (ritalin?) and then, did he self-diagnose or self-medicate with other stuff for his "ADD"? is he still doing that?
He lives with three younger sisters (middle school / high school age), and his mother. His mother I doubt ever went to college, and she cleans houses for a living. (She's a cancer and asked me to do astrology reports on her family, actually! Cancers must be fast to believe it)
She isn't really able to give a damn.. she's sort of on the 'inside', where she can't back up and look at the problem as a whole.
He's at home all the time.. he helps her out with the family some, and doesn't really do much else. She doesn't have anyone else to compare him to, if you get what I'm saying.
I'm not quite sure what he takes for ADD. Whatever it is, it's doctor appointed, and I'm 100% sure it's not ritalin. He doesn't have any influence to do drugs / alcohol, and if that's what you were getting at, no influence, seeing as he doesn't go to high school, and his family is clean.
His class? Well, as I said, his mom cleans houses, and has a large family to feed. If she worked as much as she does and he was the only child, they'd be middle class. His dad found out he was gay, divorced his mom, and moved to san fran, when he was 4 or 5.

Pisces is the ultimate dreamer; the most unrealistic, ungrounded of the signs.
Yes, that's what brought me to post it here in the astrology forums (not to mention any non-astrology help wouldn't take into account his pisces moon / leo sun, and how they might affect him).
He is a total dreamer, and that's not doing much for him. He can be a dreamer and still have a good path i

omg... it didn't post the whole thing.. at all... it was about 3 times as long.. now I can't get it back >

bling, don't be silly.

Pisces moon
So, he's a dreamer no matter what, I just hope that can work out for him in a positive way and life

his sun Leo's laziness sounds to have taken over Leo's usual determination.
He's very very determined in his little dream world. He's always working on something, but usually it's in WoW.
He has a big ambitious business plan for us two.. but it requires him to do some work to start it off, so, as I imagine that won't ever happen, I'm waiting for him to do something about it first :o

also, what is your role in all this? you two planning on being roomies, and you're concerned @ his follow-through?
No, I wouldn't want to be roomies with him as I couldn't really depend on him for money issues (he spends what he has very quickly.). I'm a taurus moon, remember? 😛

maybe he's not ready / interested / frustrated / doesn't wanna go down that road right now. and if he's frustrated by that, that'll just add fuel to this fire.
I think he's more oblivious than frustrated. It's not that he's avoiding thinking about it, he's just oblivious / dreamy about it.

he's going to end up a loser, for lack of a better term
Sure, I agree with you. So I'm trying to guide him in the right direction. Once he's in the right direction, he'll use his own motivation to continue.

Seriously,Girls...it's an incentive to leave the house
Not to criticize you, but hey, again, he only sees his family daily. And leaving his house to hang out with girls? He's lacking enough self-esteem to do that, that'd be quite bold for him.
If he meets a girl he really likes, that could spark motivation to clean up his life very fast. I've seen that happen. So yes, girls is a great idea, but we need to get him further out of his cave first.

wheelhomie:
We were pretty close years ago. Closer than anyone except him and his mother. Of course now that I see him rarely, that should have changed, but seeing as he doesn't see anyone very often, I'm still relatively close to him. We formed an initial bond a long time ago that hasn't really broken.
Yes, frustrated is a good word for it!

he may only change when he realizes he's become a loser.
I think he sort of realises that on some level.. he knows he isn't doing the same things as everyone else. He knows he has less of a social life than most people he knows. He has about 5 friends he sees about just as often, and all of them have a good social life, and

wheelhomie:
We were pretty close years ago. Closer than anyone except him and his mother. Of course now that I see him rarely, that should have changed, but seeing as he doesn't see anyone very often, I'm still relatively close to him. We formed an initial bond a long time ago that hasn't really broken.
Yes, frustrated is a good word for it!

he may only change when he realizes he's become a loser.
I think he sort of realises that on some level.. he knows he isn't doing the same things as everyone else. He knows he has less of a social life than most people he knows. He has about 5 friends he sees about just as often, and all of them have a good social life, and he get's that on some level. He doesn't work towards getting one though, which may be because of his isolation and it's effect on his self-esteem.

but,kinda true.....I don't et the buzz about WoW ,outside of that South Park episode.......
Think of it this way: He's home all the time, except for church and once in a while going to someone's house.
When he's home, he puts all his energy into something that he will never get anything beneficial out of.

To answer the religion question: He's a catholic, and we've chatted over it, he seems to take it seriously, but he doesn't share his views on it freely or try to convert anyone, he just chats about it when it's the topic.

prringLeo:
That's funny you mention it.
I took a year off high school to go to the university. I wasn't interested in high school classes, I was interested in other stuff I was working with on my own, decided to follow that up at the university.
Well let me tell you, not being in high-school at this age sucks... even if you try to keep all of your high-school friends, most of their contact with each other is AT high school, which you aren't at. I got depressed, etc... I decided to go back to HS the next year, it was a great relief. I'm happy I went back, though I'm also happy I took the classes.. I learned a lot, not just in the classes, but in the time alone and about myself.
So.. this may be one of the reasons I feel like helping him!

there are so many circumstances we don't know about with regards to leoman's friend. low self esteem, religion, sexual orientation, sexual confusion (who hasn't been here?!), financial, etc. without some additional info, we can't help give some guidance.
low self-esteem MUST be a factor after his isolation.
religion, he's religious. I don't quite understand religion, so I can't analyze this.
sexual orientation, unknown? He's probably straight, I could be wrong.
sexual confusion, I doubt that's on his mind at the moment, due to his circumstances.
financial: His family doesn't have any extra money at all. His family actually probably is probably on the tightest budget of any friends of his or mine. Most people he knows have at least very comfortable finanically, some are quite upper class. I don't know how this affects him? Maybe he feels powerless? Possibly? He pays for WoW in various ways. He really isn't good with money. He never borrows money to pay for anything, but he does owe a couple of debts for things that he 'bought' from people and were going to pay them back. I think he just doesn't think about it, and doesn't find it as important as other people do (like me!).

Antibling:
Sounds like a good idea!

I've tried that to some degree, though. I invited him to a event with about ~40 people I organized a couple of weeks ago. He has met 90% of them, and knows all of them, etc. It was almost like a party of everyone he knew! He called the day of, saying he couldn't get there. I offered him a ride, as someone said they could pick up an extra on their way.. then he said that he felt sick.
I checked my voicemail the next day, and it turned out he called me the day before the event and told me, plainly, he didn't feel like going. Sounded like a social / self-esteem issue to me.

Everything you said is right on, prrr

I know that he's sort of the father figure in there. Even though he's not a father to the daughters, he does all the man-type of work around there. And yes, he knows it, I know he knows it, and I know he trys not share that fact, but I have picked it up.

I have to point out my mistake previously, he's actually protistant. I'm not a religion buff so I didn't really know the difference, but I looked into it since you said that. She doesn't seem to guilty about it. He also doesn't pay child support (for four children).. anyway..

Antibling:

Yeah, I think that's it. Well, he doesn't seem to think about it until it 'comes to reality', like when someone's coming over who he owes money (maybe this was a factor for him ditching my event?)

Actually I got him offered a PT job, but he turned it down, as it was physical labor.

Most of the 'jobs' he's had in the past (by job I mean, working once for two day for a friend), are physical. And the last time I saw him do one of those, he didn't really do a good job, was lazy about it. I don't blame him, I don't like physical work either.. but he has to do something.

I don't know his skills.. I know what he can do on the computer and such, and he's probably more skilled on the computer than your average person is, but isn't more skilled than your average person who has a technical job.

for what it's worth, I'm guessing 🙂

I'll check out craigslist and such, see if there's anything that might interest him.

We're the 2nd largest city in our state, so there should be quite a few jobs to choose from 🙂

yeah it is. but leos are generally more thoughtful than anyone likes to admit.

i hope that you can help, but if you can't, don't exhaust yourself. it's likely to be out of your hands.

"wow,you don't miss a beat!!!!!!!"

it's true.

me too. eventually he'll get bored with it, for sure. the question is where does he go from there.

haha...i've never heard of warhammer. but if it's another online game, then i really hope not. 😛

Warhammer, yeah, I heard about that.. guess from who

oh, ok. um....no comment. i wouldn't wanna be judgmental or anything.

bahaha.

Figuring out his family situation (from the standpoint of his cancer mom, and possibly religious influence) helped a lot too.. I really didn't realise that before. It all hinted in that direction, I just hadn't had the realisation.

You may be aged, like cheese, but I didn't eat you with crackers earlier, now did I?