Cap man has slowly entered my life again, sort of.

So the first time I joined DXP, I joined to get a little insight on my relationship with a cap man (I don't feel like digging up the posts but needless to say the cap and I ended things not on the best note). When things between us cooled down, the last conversation we had months ago ended up with me telling him he hurt me, that I didn't want to see him, and that he didn't understand what he did to me, ect ect. It took me a couple of months to finally get over him and move on; eventually I no longer felt anger towards him but I didn't really have much to say to him again (even if I did). However, I still felt like the cap never forgot about me, and it was confirmed not too long ago. On my birthday, the cap wrote on my facebook wishing me a happy birthday; it was nothing special, just a quick happy birthday. Still, it really surprised me because we honesty hadn't said a word to each other in months. While I could have ignored him, I really don't have a spiteful bone in my body over the situation anymore, so I wrote back thanking him and asked how he was (it was a little awkward, considering I subtly told him to fuck off last time we spoke. The cap wrote back quickly, telling me he was alright and that "things have changed since we last spoke." And then he asked how I was. We spoke a little more before he said that we should get together soon. Now, I thought about saying no, but I felt it would have been too awkward to do so on a public domain, and I felt this would be a good opportunity for me to finally talk to him to his face about everything (considering if still feel like there were things left unsaid). Also, I'm not really afraid of anything happening. I know how he works and I know what to expect from him; so considering we do actually meet up again, I'm not worried considering I've grown up a bit since we were together.

My only question is, what do you think he meant by "things have changed since we last spoke." I was perusing this and wondered whether he meant himself, his life, ect. Also, what reasons do you think he would have to slip back in, especially after how we last interacted? I'm not taking this all to heart, but I'm just curious. It's almost like he was waiting for the day for me to forgive him and speak to him, although he took that opportunity first by wishing me happy birthday.

Posted by CappyLuv30
maybe he said that just to make small talk, maybe he misses you, maybe he wants to hit it and be gone.

I mean the possibilities of what if are endless, the question is do YOU want him back in your life because if you don't I suggest you do not open up the door with dinner or any other communication.

If you're happy and have finally gotten over him, don't open up that wound again.

Ironically, I don't necessarily care if he comes back, only because I find myself treating him the very way I treated him when we first met. Very nonchalantly and sort of off to the side. Even after we had our small blowout, I wanted to make amends because I didn't like how things were just left off, but I have a bit of pride, so I wouldn't allow myself too. I don't mind talking to him at this point. When we were together, a lot of the issues was lack of communication, me still being somewhat naive, and him just doing some rather stupid things. Not that I'm justifying his behavior, but I no longer harbor anything negative towards him. I didn't know if the returning like this was a cap thing or just a "general" thing.

Candeh you are way too young to be dealing with this nonsense...Go have fun!! Your not going to be 20 forever...trust me after 30 years of age you will have plenty of time to deal with issues like this, you can't get those beautiful 20's back, the 20's go they are gone forever and do you really want to look back on it and see how much time you wasted on men that don't have the ability to stay in your life.

Lol I'm definitely having fun! Also really busy because of things with school since it just got back into session. I haven't heard from him in a few days anyway so I don't really care regardless. Either way, I'm prepared to shrug him off. I was just curious to know what was going on in his head.

Cap men (the immature ones)behave this way, go dead silent ignore mode for weeks and/or months at a time, just when you think he's never coming back around bam he's there acting as if he's always been around, they can be some self involved selfish loner absent cold type men, the whole oh things have changed, nothings changed, he's just testing to see if the door is still open, notice he hasn't come back once he realized he could still get back in, driving women batty with the passive aggressive nonsense, that's what the immature ones do, they ignore the hell out of you once they realize they can get back in, him not coming back around after several days is proof he has not changed, if he hurt you in the past he's sure to hurt you again. If you had a communication issue in the past well it appears you still do, if that hasn't changed then he hasn't changed when it comes to how he communicates and relates to you.

An emotionally evolved cap is hugely different than the emotionally immature caps....Some men you have to karate kick the door shut, they just aren't going to be a positive influence on you and your life, it's okay to say NO.

Posted by tiki33
Cap men (the immature ones)behave this way, go dead silent ignore mode for weeks and/or months at a time, just when you think he's never coming back around bam he's there acting as if he's always been around, they can be some self involved selfish loner absent cold type men, the whole oh things have changed, nothings changed, he's just testing to see if the door is still open, notice he hasn't come back once he realized he could still get back in, driving women batty with the passive aggressive nonsense, that's what the immature ones do, they ignore the hell out of you once they realize they can get back in, him not coming back around after several days is proof he has not changed, if he hurt you in the past he's sure to hurt you again. If you had a communication issue in the past well it appears you still do, if that hasn't changed then he hasn't changed when it comes to how he communicates and relates to you.

An emotionally evolved cap is hugely different than the emotionally immature caps....Some men you have to karate kick the door shut, they just aren't going to be a positive influence on you and your life, it's okay to say NO.

Ah okay. I just really wanted to know. Luckily him coming back really had no large affect on me. I'm completely past that. So if what you say is correct, then he's really not doing much. And like I said earlier, if we were going to talk, I was just going to use it as an excuse to have him answer some questions and let him run off. Either way, if he wants to try, he's really just going to tire himself out. Once I'm set, I'm set.

Caps are really interesting people... I thought I had trouble understanding gems and aquas lol.

If you wanna keep the door open for shits and giggles by all means be cool with him but please don't take him seriously...

I adore cap men but you have to really dig deep to understand there nature and how the mature cap men function versus the immature cap men.

I never really did in the first place. I thought it was nice enough that he wished me a happy birthday. He didn't really have to and I wasn't expecting it, but I suppose it worked for him in getting in touch with me.

Cap men a little too much for me. While I like them as people, I have a hard time connecting with them and I don't really trust them with my emotions and such.

Coincidentally, I kind of know the girl that this cap had been seeing for a bit since we stopped getting together. He's not a bad person, but he has a lot of things he needs to work out; whether he realizes that or not is beyond me.

I have to let you fly! LOL

I sound too much like somebodies mom....

BUT

I remember when I was your age, I used to wonder a lot too about men in my life.

Lol yeah. Unfortunately I'm a very curious person, so even if I shouldn't really dwell on something, I always have to know. It'll nag at me too much lol.

Especially when it comes to me. When I question their motives, even if their is none, it calms me a little. If I have at least one source of input, even if not correct, I can move on more easily. hahaha a little twisted I think.

LOL your precious Candeh, I hardly say that to people LOL but your the sweetest, I'm sure you have your own thoughts about him coming around, although there may some truth in my words, don't take my word for it completely, explore your thoughts, experience is the best teacher, sometimes the hardest but the best.

Ironically, I haven't met another capricorn besides him. Well, I probably have, but I haven't dealt with one like I've had to deal with him. With this cap, I did kind of take the nonchalant route when we were seeing each other, but I definitely was unsure most of the time. As of now, I'm sure about where I stand with him or at least how I feel towards him now.

Haha, I don't mind being called precious! xD