HELP!

Hi all. I posted on here about a year ago and I'm back! I just wanted some advice and/or insight into my situation.

So, me and my Cap have been together for a year and 7 months. The past 9 months have been great. He's been more attentive, stopped the disappearing, and has let me into his life. I knew going into this relationship that we would have to go slow since he had been cheated on in his last relationship. I've been really patient and understanding of his situation.

Well, about a week ago we had been getting really, really close then he started acting weird and pulling away. I'm making the assumption that he's getting scared that we're starting to get serious. I'm so frustrated right now, because I hate feeling like I may lose him because he's scared. He told me a couple days ago that he still keeps me at a certain distance because he doesn't want to get hurt. I've been reflecting on our relationship these past couple days and I'm starting to question how long I'm willing to wait for this man?!

Is it normally this hard to gain a Cap's trust or am I living in a fantasy world thinking he's going to eventually let his guard down for me?!

what sagigoat said, if anyone can talk their way into it, w/o the capricorn being worried, then, holy crap good job. probably what pissed me off about my ex.

basically, depends on if he's been hurt really badly in a previous relationship. if you're not wanting to go through that, then bale. if you are, just make sure you're there for when he actually needs, you, not just when you think he does. that and not taking any shit. some people, including capricorns consider themselves players, and want to take advantage of people.

OMG, Capthirtyone-- you are wound tighter than a --- i don't know what-- Not sure what's going on with RLC's Cap man but I doubt this is it...

I'm a 23 year old libra.

After some reflecting on the situation ... I honestly believe we're at that crossroads that every relationship gets to where you decide if you're going to walk down the path of life together or go walk it down different paths. The thing that frustrates me the most is that I hoped that when we got to this point that we could be open with one another and tell each other our fears and insecurities. I guess I didn't expect him to be so distant and removed. I've been pondering our future a lot lately, but the only difference is that I want to talk about it.

I think I'm at the point where I have to love myself enough to go find a man who is willing to let me in his life completely. I have no guarantee that if I wait for my Cap that he's going to let me fully in. Problem is - I love him! How do you walk away from someone you love?!

It's only been a week or two that he's pulled away, right? Give him his time to pull away. Sounds like things have really been on the up and up since last year when you were on this site. Seems like he's just having a normal guy moment of pulling away to think. In the whole of things...a 2-year relationship isn't a really long time that you have to feel exasperated over having waited for so long. For real...it could be much longer...MUCH longer. I think you should just not overthink things and he'll come back ready to continue. No worries.

LWCA - you are absolutely right. I'm being a bit dramatic. Well let's be honest - I'm being very dramatic. I have reason though for feeling this way. We actually broke up for 3 months awhile back and preceding the breakup he started to act the very same way he's acting now. So, a big part of this insecurity I'm having is due to what happened before. I know we've built a connection as far as emotions and feelings so the chances of him ending things are slim. I just can't help feeling this way I guess. I know I need to chill out and worry so much. Thanks!

I've never really been with someone this long. I usually get bored after 8 months so I know 2 years isn't that long in retrospect, but it's long to me :-)

Thanks Moro!

Yeah I was planning on giving him space this weekend, but he came back to me trying to see me. So I was like okay maybe things are better now and gave him the usual attention to only be pushed away again. AHH - I swear these men lolol! I'm not sure what his issue is, but I'm laying low and letting him think things out. I don't know what is prompting this his weird behavior, but I hope things get back to normal sooner rather than later.

Reallylike capricorns...OMG I am in the EXACT same situation - and I'm a 25 year old Libra with a 34 year old cappie.

we split for 3 months too - he had alot of stuff going on (work/personal) - but didn't let me in.

just a coupel of weeks ago he's wooed me back - we went to dinner, expressed out feelings etc, all going great - then over the weekend I don't see him at all, he has family commitments.

I dunnno what to think!

Lawyer82 ... I'm pretty sure he will pop himself back into your life. I hate to say this, but this is something that most (not all) Cap men do. I think the main goal for us is to get them to disappear less and less. This way when he does disappear he's so used to seeing/contacting you that his disappearances are shorter and fewer.

I actually accomplished that for about a year. He didn't disappear once and all of a sudden he's acting distant. It's not so much a disappearance - it's just a change in attitude towards me. I hope that it's short lived and right now I'm taking the time to focus on me.

Good Luck!

oh I hope so.

maybe its a Libran thing, we're too sensitive etc, but I will give him time and see how things go without becoming too drmatic.

its hard though 😢

would appreciate you letting me know how things progress on your end!

Lawyer82,

I think that if it's meant to be, things will progress in your relationship. For the most part Caps are harder to reel in emotionally and mentally. I think in the beginning you have to stick it out and learn to adjust to their quirks. I'm not saying to totally go against what and who you stand for, but to realize that they are different type of man. You have to deal with them differently. It takes them a lot longer to open up to someone in a relationship.

I had a really tough time with the relationship 4-5 months into it because I had not dealt with this type of sign before. When we broke up, I was devastated and moved on for the most part. He eventually came to his senses LoL and we started dating again. This time I knew that he had some time to think about what he wanted to do in this elationship with me so I was much more comfortable this time around. I saw progress, slow at times, but nonetheless it was progress! I stayed and was patient with him on the condition that I saw some growth in our relationship. I think that's important because if there's no growth then you're better off with someone else who's willing to take a chance. He began to be more open and shared his thoughts and feelings. Until he started to suddenly get distant and cold about 2 weeks ago.

He recently contacted me and apologized for acting so distant all of a sudden. He finally told me what was going on with him and low and behold it had nothing to do with our relationship. I told him that if he needed space in the future to be more communicative of that so I'm not in the dark and stressing out about things. I told him I would respect his needs, but we need to communicate better and he agreed.

So my advice to you is to give him some time to open up and make sure that you see progress along the way. Sometimes if you're lucky enough, they're worth the wait 🙂