Interesting Discovery on my Cap. guy

Hey... well I've posted for comments and opinions about this on other boards, so figure might as well update on here too.

I found a recent profile of the Cap.'s on a less visible dating site, in which he specifically is looking for a foreign wife!! It's a "bare-bones" profile without alot of info. about him, but does have his photo, and he just states for any foreign ladies looking for a husband in the US to please contact him. WTF—??

Is this pure desperation? He used to be on a couple of the bigger dating sites, for several months, and he hasn't been on those for a while now. He never advertised or solicited for foreign women on those- So, I'm taking it as he's striking out and fed up with dating, and is seriously wanting to get married? He definitely wants kids. He's 29, and has been married and apparently his ex-wife cheated on him longterm, causing the divorce. The guy is good-looking, tall, yet is for some reason shy and a bit self-conscious, insecure.

Comments and opinions please. I even welcome Branh's input on this one!!

He probably figures that he cannot find anyone compatible in the US, so he searching elsewhere. Plus, he probably heard that sterotype of the difference between foreign women and homeland women ... lol whatever! So he probably thinks that he would find a more suitable wife in comparison to the one eho cheated on him.

No holds barred comments are wanted.

Maybe he thinks foreign women are more faithful

I do think you're right, Branh, as to why this guy would be interested in this approach. I sense that he's been dating alot, off the online sites too, and hasn't had any success, is tired of the rat-race, but yet wants marriage and kids in the very immediate future. It just makes me think that if he's stooping to this, then I shouldn't be so fearful of him rejecting me and should have more confidence to now just find out what the hell is the deal between us??

No, I'm not mad at all, SB. Thank you. I've felt the same about the mind games and power struggle in the relationship being a huge problem, which have prevented the relationship from even getting off the ground. I appreciate your advice, it's something I haven't done. And yes, I knew the underlying motivation of posting a profile like that, but just wanted to make sure I wasn't overlooking some other schemes out there. I don't mean to ridicule him for doing it and actually feel sad and sympathetic that he's even thought of resorting to this, because I don't think any man truly wants to deliberately import a wife.

I don't want him to even know that I found this out, and I'd never let on that I did. I feel like I came upon it for a reason- that this information has come to me for a reason? SB, how did you get over your Cap-Cap relationship, if I may ask?

Capgirl. I dont think you should read much into it. If I were a guy I'd probably post on a web site like that also, only because it kind of goes hand in hand with the whole dating on the web thing.....which I have yet to try. Also, this guy you're dealing with seems to go through a lot of changes so its probably just something he put out there to see whathappens......we've all done similar things like that at some point. I would NOT bring it up if you talk to him because I'm sure if the next conversation you have is that in depth he'll probably give off enough clues to let you know how serious he is about it. Let people talk and they will always tell on themselves. I still say what the two of you need is some good old conversation and one on one time. Plus we all know that Caps have a tendency to go the "maybe the grass is greenier on the other side" route.

Thanks for those words, Febby. I'm not holding it against him, quite the opposite. I'm glad I came upon it, as it's helped me figure out that he's not a player and the times he talked about marriage and children were not just "lines" to get laid.

I'm going to stop by to see him this week. He may not answer or see me, but at least I'll have taken some action to possibly set things in motion.