Gemini value loyalty,truth if your mate lied about

How would you react gemini if you found out your Nate had a child they didn't tell you about a year into your relationship with them? Is it a deal breaker would you turn your back?

Posted by Rabbit
Who's Nate?

Lol I meant mate

Do you mean "mate" as in "spouse"?

Posted by Whimsy
Do you mean "mate" as in "spouse"?

No not spouse boyfriend/girlfriend

That's a red flag, in my eyes. Although, there could be many reasons why he didn't tell you.

Maybe you should ask him.

Is the relationship serious, or is it casual and on-again-off-again? Is it long distance or in person? If you two are in a committed relationship that's supposed to be going somewhere, then I think his not telling you is seriously messed up.

Id be pissed off but then again Im super inquisitive, curious, suspicious and I probably would have found out before they told me. Gemini's arent stupid. But I would leave them over the principle of the matter NOT the subject.

The issue, at least for me, isn't lying. It's the nature of the lie and the length of time it was kept secret. I believe we all lie but not all lies are really that big a deal. I think most lies are just white lies and aren't that significant. When it becomes an issue is when the lie is meant to mask a part of ourselves. It's when it's meant to deceive another into thinking we are someone that we're not. And often, maybe most of the time, those lies are based on shame and are toxic to ourselves and our relationships. I've had my share of shame issues that go back to childhood (and that in no way is meant to blame my parents, who absolutely did the best they could by their children) so I can relate to why this person lied to you. Still, it's very toxic and now you'll wonder what else they've been hiding and whether you can ever trust them again. I hate to say this but I think you should walk. There was no good reason to withhold this from you for a year. This person has major issues that they are not dealing with which will become your issues if you stay in this relationship. Wish I had better news. End of the day: we all have to own our shit and walk away from the shit of others. While there are no perfect people, perfect relationship, one that is built on lies cannot endure.

Posted by Este8
The issue, at least for me, isn't lying. It's the nature of the lie and the length of time it was kept secret. I believe we all lie but not all lies are really that big a deal. I think most lies are just white lies and aren't that significant. When it becomes an issue is when the lie is meant to mask a part of ourselves. It's when it's meant to deceive another into thinking we are someone that we're not. And often, maybe most of the time, those lies are based on shame and are toxic to ourselves and our relationships. I've had my share of shame issues that go back to childhood (and that in no way is meant to blame my parents, who absolutely did the best they could by their children) so I can relate to why this person lied to you. Still, it's very toxic and now you'll wonder what else they've been hiding and whether you can ever trust them again. I hate to say this but I think you should walk. There was no good reason to withhold this from you for a year. This person has major issues that they are not dealing with which will become your issues if you stay in this relationship. Wish I had better news. End of the day: we all have to own our shit and walk away from the shit of others. While there are no perfect people, perfect relationship, one that is built on lies cannot endure.

Hi Este! My fav Cancer!!!

Did you ever ask him if he had any kids? cus if you didn't, then technically he didn't lie, he just didn't tell you.

Maybe he wasn't that serious bout you and didn't feel the need.

Hi Este! My fav Cancer!!!

Hugs, Xin! My fav Gem of a Gemini!! You're sassy, classy and you take no crap!

Posted by Xin
Id be pissed off but then again Im super inquisitive, curious, suspicious and I probably would have found out before they told me. Gemini's arent stupid. But I would leave them over the principle of the matter NOT the subject.

You are absolutely correct they didn't tell I found out on my own through being the spy that most women can be when they are really falling for someone

Posted by DeeG
Did you ever ask him if he had any kids? cus if you didn't, then technically he didn't lie, he just didn't tell you.

Maybe he wasn't that serious bout you and didn't feel the need.

Yes asked him and since I found out have asked other questions about children! One day we were talking and he asked me what if I had children should you be mad and I told him yes cause that would mean you've been lying to me! I didn't know why he was asking me then