Help! My bull is getting moody...

I posted earlier this year in another account but unfortunately I can't for the life of me figure out my pw for my email attached to it. At any rate, I've been dating a wonderful taurus who shares my same sense of humour, good conversation, and we've very similar values. It's been about 2 months and he's been a little down about being trapped in his job, without room for advancement (but he has security just not variability), so he's been ultra irritated. There were some cases that he took it out on me, which I addressed directly, and he conceded to being more frustrated than usual.

In addition, he's been communicating less, which bothers me a whole lot, but still wants me to be physically there. I.e. he'll ask me to come over, suggest little trips, and the like. So I'm not sure what to make of this. He says he's a little lost in life right now which is making him moody, so I'm unsure as to what is going on.

So bulls, what is the best course of action? Should I just give him space, do my own thing, and just be available when he needs me? Things were going swimmingly until this all happened, and he assures me it has nothing to do with me.

-N

P.S. I left him some treats in his house while he was out (with his knowledge - food and some bath salts for aching muscles). Hopefully this isn't smothering. I'm try very hard not to overstep boundaries.

P.P.S. I'm a Libra sun, Aqua moon, Virgo venus; He is a Taurus sun, Cap moon, Gem venus...if that helps?

edit... sorry, had to edit something so I hid the first message?

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
Exactly what Miss Deb said.

I guess I worry because he has a history of cheating/grass is greener on the other side mentality? Though he has not ever done it with me, that I know of. So when I saw communications dying down a lot, I got a little scared.

I guess bulls like to retreat for awhile to figure things out on their own?

But I will take your words to heart, ladies. Thanks. 🙂

Posted by BellaBulleautiful
I will say more tomorrow sweetie,I'm sooo tired and on my way to bed.

Okie dokes. I look forward to your opinions! 🙂

Thanks DaBull!

I have to admit, it's been so different dating a taurus. I'm not sure I've ever been this at peace in my entire life. I mean I worry about communications closing up, but I think with previous relationships, it's been far, far worse. From the get-go, we both agreed that if something frustrates the other, we have to tell each other, and he values the open communication we have. Sometimes when he's in frustration-mode, I have to just sit patiently and wait for the bull to stop seeing red. If it's misdirected toward me I appeal to a neutral sort of state and plainly state logic, which seems to make him understand. If I show him a vulnerable or emotional side, he tends to cave a bit.

For now I just give him a bubblier side of myself, and hope that the positivity from that will spread over to him. Positive energy is infectious, no? 🙂 I don't want to solve his problems for him, but I would like to provide him reassurance that I am supportive of his decisions. Is there anything else that can be done?

Oh yeah, the 'treat' I left him was a pound of slow cooked pork, haha. It was gone in 24 hours.

Nice, DaBull strikes again.. haha pretty much every time I read one of her post, even answering something about a male bull, am thinking 'man, couldnt have said it better'... and this one is no different. She's got it in the head...

I'm also a Gemini venus, and I've never started looking else where till I've already pretty much written off the one I'm with and put up a good fight for happiness... Your not there, you'd know... So I would't even sweat that one..

From your last post.. Wow, seems like you really already really know how to treat your bull.. Sounds like you guys are working great together.. so just chill out and kick back, don't sweat it...

*Thumbs up*

Thanks Taurguy! I suppose cheating was a worrisome factor as he's done quite a fair bit of it. I'm glad I was trusted enough to be told at the beginning of this relationship but it still worries me somewhat now and then, particularly when there's a change in behavior.

I think in the past year, I've grown up some, and perhaps I'm getting more mature. All the negative traits of a libra; the flirtiness, the fickleness, the flakiness, the indecisiveness and the inbalanced nature seems to be changing to something more...stable. I'm very decisive (though I always have been), I'm very acutely aware of other people's feelings and take care to learn their ins and outs before I act. I follow my gut more, and appeal to a neutral space of mind whenever I have a crisis that appeals to both my emotional and rational ends. Though some crisis are often bigger than me, in which I revert back to an insecure little mess, I know for the most part that my head is more or less in the right place.

My taur is still in the somewhat non-communicative mode, a little less affectionate as if something is on his mind other than me when I'm there, and has stopped getting irritated at me after I calmly pointed out the irrationality of his frustrations directed at me. The bedroom play, however, is err... as great as it always was, so I'm not worried there. I guess since it's still early in the relationship it worried me somewhat if a) communications went down, b) affections were less frequent, and c) he doesn't flirt as much anymore. Yet he still wants me to physically be there to just chill/watch a movie/play some racquetball and not a booty call.

Posted by DaBull_isDaShit
Taurguy,

Thank you🙂 I wasn't aware of striking, let lone striking 'again' hehe😉

Haha.. well now you know 🙂

Posted by DaBull_isDaShit
nedley,

The fact that he told you about his past cheatings is a good thing, it means he can completely be himself around you without being judged, and when we find someone like that, only they get to see our dark side, purely cos we trust them with that info. Being a gemini venus and on top of that being a taurus sun we do feel like we are misunderstood, what amazes us is someone accepting us the way we are, not the way we were, don't just judge us on our past, cos we have reasons for the way we might have behaved. If someone accepts that, then be sure that you will be in a relationship with that true person, nothing will be hidden from you, because we feel so free around and know that you will not think any different of us, that is what we fear that you will think different of us based on certain things we might have done wrong in the past and not see us for the good in us. What he told you is a confidential thing to him, and he feels safe enough to trust you and confide in you.

Don't let the changes in his behaviour worry you, cos it is only temporary, like I said once he has cleared his head and internally he has gained control over his emotions, he will bounce right back up and be himself again. It is hard for Taurus to pretend to be happy, we don't like fakery and that means even us acting fake, hence why he is quiet, cos he doesn't want to bring out the negative emotions, at the same time he doesn't want to cover them up so much so, that he has pretend everything is just fine and he's happy.

Yeah he's been a bit more affectionate lately, so I'm hoping he's getting out of his rut. Phew. When he did tell me about his past cheatings, I was quite afraid actually, but tried my best not to pass judgement unless it happened to me. I did however, tell him of how I felt about that knowledge, but otherwise assured him that I would not judge him for his past. I think it hit a chord when I told him that it didn't matter if he was scruffy and unshaven, that he should know by now that I liked him for him and not his 5 o'clock shadow.

Thanks a bunch for your words of wisdom. I appreciate it greatly. 🙂

Sorry, I hate digging up a dead horse but... communications have gone down a lot. I accidentally woke up my taurboy with a text, which normally never happens because he texts me before he goes to sleep. I will go the entire day without hearing from him now. I'd love to quote the phrase 'he's busy', but then I'd be making excuses for him. I'm pretty sure we're shifting out of honeymoon phase, even though it's only been a bit shy of 3 months. He's definitely withdrawing, but at the same time, goes, 'oh so we should plan for that trip in 2 weeks or something?'

Perhaps this should be a new thread, but what happens when bulls come out of the honeymoon period? Is there a way to tell him that I see this change and don't like it without being trampled on? Would it be a bad idea to withdraw myself and let him pull all the first moves?

I understand, and have done as you've suggested...

So, I spoke with the bull. Basically he's never had a real relationship before, and has only dated one other girl briefly, so he told me he wants to date around.
He is conflicted because he really likes me and can see a very awesome relationship with me forming but is always asking 'what if grass is greener on the other side?"

I'm a little hurt and torn, considering this came up around the 3 month mark. I have the option to continue dating him in an open relationship, but is this worthwhile?

It's also interesting because the second he got everything off his shoulders, he became instantly back to affection-galore. That confused me as well I guess.