Cancers, why do we do this to ourselves?

Why is it that we cancers deal with and accept things that are wrong. Or even worst, why do we stay in situations and/or relationships knowing that deep down inside that something just isn't right, continuing to deal with the hurt for the longest time. Why does it take us so long to let go of something that isn't right or is hurting us so badly. We are great people, why do people take advantage of our kindness. I believe that we are great partners and friends, we are always willing to do whatever it takes to make someone else happy, why is that people can't seem to do that for us. My fellow cancers I ask why?

lol, I think we need way more than that. Something has got to give, it's not fair to us. And I am speaking on behalf of the good cancers because I know there are some bad ones out there lol.

I've got a better question for you: why push away the people that DO love you and treat you right?

Good question, however I have never been with anyone who treated me right and pushed them away. I am the kind of cancer that loves and appreciates those things. I have had one good guy in my life, he was so good to me, however he said he couldn't date me because I was way too nice. So....perhaps someone else can answer that question lol.

well I can't have been the only one to notice this pattern.... you have people here asking why the cancer that they love and adore is pushing them away... and then you have cancer's asking why they keep themselves in these horrible abusive relationships....something's gotta give. Obviously there are people out there willing to love you guys and treat you like the center of the universe - but for someone reason you gravitate towards the ones who treat you badly, and run away from the ones that treat you well.... Now obviously I don't know you're dating history - but are you SURE that no one else has treated you right? Sometimes cancers also have a tendency to look for reasons to claim someone is not treating them well even though they are.... I suspect it is self-sabotage out of fear.... I have long held a theory that cancers get so scared when they have a good thing because it's not what they're used to, that they sabotage themselves and the relationship - it's easier to push the people who love them away than worry that SOMEDAY things will change and that person won't love them so much anymore.

It's really very self-defeating... you see..... even if you [and by "you" I mean the collective - cancers in general....] are right about that person - then you're really no worse off than you were with the one who treated you badly from the start....except at least you have a CHANCE that the person will ALWAYS love you the same way and treat you the way you want.

I have two pieces of advice for you:

1)no matter how much you love someone who is treating you badly ALWAYS remember that THEY do not love you if they treat you that way and so they can NEVER deserve your love

2) when you find someone who DOES treat you right - channel that same love that keeps you from leaving the jerk into that person and give them a chance to show you that they DO love you. No matter how scared you are - fight with the same strength that you use to keep yourself in a bad relationship.

Just reverse the roles for a change - what have you got to lose if you're already unhappy?

Yes I know that some cancers are manipulating and love to play mind games, and treat people like crap, believe me I was in a relationship for two years with one and it was pure hell, but yet another relationship I stayed in something that was not good for me. And yea I guess I would say that us as cancers can be punks, and need to grow a backbone lol. And now I am with an aqua, what a rollercoaster ride lol.

Lol scorpqueen. Well interesting I have never dated a scorpio, I wonder how that would be hmmm.

OMG guys stop, I consider myself an exception. I am not bad like the ones that are mentioned on here. I am told I am way too nice, and can a bit too emotional...

Aww thanks scorpsting, I appreciate that.

Thanks Fallstar, I needed that lol. You know we are sensitive lol.

"We're the water that people through rocks in." Scorpsqueen, that's so funny yet so true.

Lol you guys are too funny. Good night Fallstar.

Wow crab23.

Riiiiiight?

"I've got a better question for you: why push away the people that DO love you and treat you right?"

- Cancers stay in bad relationships because they have trouble letting go (of anything). Heck, I was pissed that my mom threw away my box full of 2nd-6th grade report cards, essays, and class pix. I don't like letting anything go -- it has so much history -- even bad relationships, there's history and to us Cancers, this history is part of who we are. Telling us to let go is like tearing a part of us off...it hurts.

- Not all Cancers push you away when they feel loved. xangelfishx...your case is kind of specific. though not uncommon, many guys (not just cancers) have big problems with commitment. the underlying problem isn't the sign in your case (just my opinion)... maybe more gender (guys dont like to commit) and maybe more related to the specific person.

I havnt read everyones comments but this is very true about us! Here is the thing... It depends on what the good is for me vs the bad... I have a tendency to look past the bad in people and find the good... I think we are so down to earth we look at people as people! We all make mistakes we are all human!

I was just talking to a friend about this the night before last... I consider him a best friend even though we have a past... He just got out of a divorce and we were catchin up since its been about 9 months since we spoke... I never liked this girl from the beginning she had cheated on him twice and he took her back and he married her... She treated him badly spent up all their money when he was trying to save for a house and prepare their future so they could bring children into the world without any struggles... They went to counceling church everything trying to resolve their issues... He said he put in 110% and she did nothing! She continued to disrespect him and so on... Here they are married and divorced in 2 years! He is only 26 and he is scared for life! He said I guess I wa just blinded because I loved her so much! And yes love does blind us cancers! I told him like me you can look past the bad and see all the good in a person because we are both cancers... It is part of our nature because we don't like conflict! We are lovers and not fighters!

I personally just hate being so sensitive! Otherwise I love who I am and someday someone will love me just the same and if they don't oh well! Their loss! My daughter loves he mama and that is all the love I really need!

maybe its fear of the unknown, or rejection of new things...

It may be that too! That has something to do with it because I hate the whole process of new relationships and getting to know someone and then it doesn't work out...

oh Crab..!

"Why is it that we cancers deal with and accept things that are wrong."
We accept that everyone has flaws... and look for reasons to tolerate improper behavior (because we don't want to change the person we care about... just to understand them).

"Or even worst, why do we stay in situations and/or relationships knowing that deep down inside that something just isn't right, continuing to deal with the hurt for the longest time. Why does it take us so long to let go of something that isn't right or is hurting us so badly."
We want the situation to improve... we are (blindly) optimistic that it will... and we are willing to give all that we can (sometimes more of ourselves [and this is where the problems come into play] than we have to give) to make that happen. Relationships require 200% (100% from each side), but when one of the people have to carry more than 150% ... its time to get out. Unless the reason for the lacking 50% on the other side is justifiable/reasonable/understandable.

"We are great people, why do people take advantage of our kindness."
Its too easy not to, people take the opportunities when they see that they can. And without us around to make an example out of... who else would be naive enough to fall into the traps that we do (by trying to help someone out, or show that we care)? Sometimes you have to just not give a F***! Yeah its hard... but if you don't show that mentality often enough (or at least in the proper situations), you're pretty much the 'opportunity' knocking on the door... waiting to be answered (taken advantage of).

"I believe that we are great partners and friends, we are always willing to do whatever it takes to make someone else happy, why is that people can't seem to do that for us. My fellow cancers I ask why?"
Sometimes they do... but because we have such a tight grip on the past (and all the pain others have put us through), we don't allow ourselves to see that some people actually are.

ellidyr - I wasn't referring specifically to my own situation - I was talking in general about, yes, my own experiences, but also a common trend I see here and in cancers that are close to me in my life.

Yeah, to ScoprQueen...you is a shitty BIATCH! Me too stick my middle finger all out to you BIATCH. WTF BIATCH! Quit acting like a BIATCH, BIATCH!

You come talk gibberish about we cancer boys...I'm a cancer and I remain one till I die. And who say I go into my shell? I laugh at astrology at times. I face facts real as they come. I confront you directly if you derail.

And you BIATCH, ScorpQueen, I'll have you dismantled pelvic-wise intoto. So F************k off BIATCH, I mean Vamoose daugther of a BIATCHHHHHh! Dumbass Idiot!

Not at all nov_scorp,

You getting it all wrong. I am a cancer and I know what I'm saying. You calling that girl who entered a BIATCH? Mami, maybe to you she might be but not to him. For instance, my friends call me a flirt or whatever (but really I don't give a hoot) because I like to get the most glamorous, glitzy and salacious of girls from the crowd . Girl, we go for the best of girls and not for the nicest!

Prob you guys here are meeting the wussie cancer guys! I myself never have a problem getting the best of the girls anywhere I go, so it's more of an individualistic issue.

Hey nov_scorp, what are you doing tonight? Holla girl!

opComm....you are really giving cancers a bad name.... I wouldn't be so proud of myself if I were you.

And if you threaten to "daismatle [me] pelvic-wise" the way you did to scorpqueen you will be sorry - I gave you fair warning.

excuse me *dismantle

xangel, hmmm, f*****k whatever,

Were my writeup to ur BIAAAATCHY___ASSSSS face, moron?

Kick your asssssss somewhere girl and stop trying to act like you are a BIATCHHHH!

Giving a "fair" warning? I won't even have you dismantled pelvic-wise, I'll smack you deep down into your pelvic zones waking you up to uncontrollably and traumatically nervous disorders where you'll find your about-to-stink ASSSSS (if you don't mind how you talk) in some brutally "dismantled" states of no return!

BIATCH, go kick some knowledge and grow up, else go have a sleep somewhere, BIATCH!

hey Opcomm... tone it down...dont be so hard on Angelfish...🙂

Hey nov_scorp,

Tell your friend to stop acting wussie. I feel for him. But if he wants it that way, let him go begging and chasing after the carp girl. When he's tired, he'll relax.

And go get some work done. If not, you'll have to take me out this weekend to that hot spot at lancaster Blvd, u know how popping that place gets and expensive it is(but of course, that'll be if I'll have time)...lol..no, serious! Else, u know better...lol...

Not all cancers are like that. I am a living proof and no wussbag (maybe to my mum, cos at times she still wants to wipe my asssss when I go awry even at this age..lol.).

Good for you nov_scorp that you went back to work.

"The shocked expressions on their faces. The best of us can whip ass and take names, unlike some other signs who are always blowing smoke or crying wolf."
...thank you for pointing that out. But the shocked expressions are the greatest.

Awww hugs @iluvmecancer.

It'll be alright mama. I know what you're going thru.

lol - look who's telling me to grow up.....

uh-oh I'm about to make an enemy...scorpqueen, didn't you know I'm a bull? we're polar opposites 😉

f******k u scorpqueen,

watch your mouth before you say sh*********t....I'ma smack you real hard if you rant sh*********t next time.....I'm far better than those"good/knowledgeable" regulars you f************kin' talkin' about.... so talk sense!

and you xangel whatever,

I thought I gave you not even a "fair" warning but a "real" warning to watch your smelly mouth before you talk?

Beware! Next time, I'll dig you out in all ramifications, BIATCH! How I hate you!!!!!))))

do you have any idea how a)stupid b)immature c)completely insane you are?

okay listen up punk: you may think you're something special, but get a clue, you're a punk ass little kid with nothing to show for. Those hoes you pick up [or at least claim to.....] have no class, but I'll tell you what they probably do have, drug habits and VD. You say you don't go for nice girls, that you go for the best - trashy hoes that have to glam out and go out half naked to get attention are NOT the best; they dress themselves up to hide the fact that they [like you] have nothing to offer the world. Tramps that get sloshed at bars and clubs and throw themselves at losers like you have serious self-esteem issues, and will be the same club hopping strung out hoes they are now for the rest of their lives - they're going NO WHERE, and neither are you.

You're not impressing ANYONE here, so step back and re-evaluate your approach. If this is how you present yourself in the real world, you're not going to get far.

That's about all the wisdom I'm going to waste on your dumb ass so you can either take heed, step up and be a real man, or waste your sorry excuse for a life trying to be a loser punk - makes no difference to me. But at some point you're going to find out the hard way that what I am saying to you now is the absolute TRUTH.

You have a LOT of growing up to do and you are taking YOURSELF down a very hard and destructive path - you have NOTHING to be proud of.

By the way - a real man doesn't use language like that with ladies, and a real man definately doesn't threaten to violate women.

OMG!!! What a thread!!!! LOL

Angel: LOL, you go girl! The bull has been unleashed!

OpComm: I bet you aren't a guy and you sure as hell aren't a Cancer. And what is up with one minute posting in improper grammar like your first language is not English, then posting in perfectly English grammar? LOL

I smell a rat! Seems like some desperate chick trying to seek revenge on the other girls on here in a disguised manner.

You need to do better than that though, you're making it so obvious. Cancers don't usually go on the way you do and REAL men don't usually go on that way either.

Hmmmm... which hyena could you be?....

LOL

Back to the original poster:

Cancers are good people and they do treat people very good, however, it is very true that Cancers stump on the person that is very kind to them but worship the person that treats them like shiat.

Cancers like strong people and they tend to lean towards "bad girls" or "bad boys", I think that nice people come across as weak people to a Cancer and therefore they will walk all over them. The minute that person puts their foot down, the Cancer starts kneeling.

I love Cancers, but you all need to appreciate what you have and take things for what they are instead of looking for flaws in every dayum thing and always expecting things to go wrong.

Another thing is that by the time you all warm up to someone, they have had about enough of your testing and withdrawing that they just want out because they are so sick of walking on eggshells with you.

Cancers need to just take people for whom they are and what they have to offer. If someone treats you nice, maybe they are just nice, and if someone treats you bad from the get go, well that's just a bad person. But instead Cancers are afraid of the nice and welcome the bad.

:::Shakes head:::

I am a Taurus... so I have patience like Job. I bend backwards and loop myself around to understand Cancers. But not everyone can do the same. I have alot of Cancers in my life and honestly, I wouldn't trade them for anything in the world, because they are truly one of the nicest people around. But they all have a pattern of going for the wrong people that end up hurting them.

Scorpqueen,

Look at this dirty biatch again telling me to go get some class. You are nothing but just a big fool.

You dirty hoe trying to be a lady! We all know what classy cancer boys normally do to such biatches!

Look, put your acts together Biatch--else I'ma spit in your face and be fast to kick ur stinky ass off the streets! What an hideous biatch!

Besides, no need to talk about this classy shiat you all talking about. I let my verbal and financial accounts talk for me, biatch!

Pay you and you suck my d**k, biatch!
Pay you and you take in my sperms, biatch!
Pay you and you let my small boys group f**k you biatch!
Pay you and you let me watch you masturbate with any thing I give to you, biatch!

Thats me, sucker, and a tip of the iceberg of what my verbal and finan. accounts do for me.

I might seem immature because that's just who I am. I don't give a shiat about your godamnnnnn puritanical ways of behaving. I never follow orders.

So better get your acts straight before you get smacked the f*****k up to what's reala!

To SCORPQUEEN,

That guy you are talking about can't even approach me if he sees me in real life. Self-esteem just won't let him.

Who cares about class? I'm all about large money, Biatch! And the way I go about things in life if you happen to come by it, you'll surely change your attitude toward this class shiat you seem addicted to...your self-acclaimed classy friends can't do things I do, can't talk the way I do, can't influence the way I do and you still talking about class.

Pay those classy friends of yours and they come work for me. Then we see who's the boss!

F****k class, Biatch!

^ stop doing that

can't i have ANYTHING of my own?!

lol


shutty, bling. how would you feel if you were being robbed of your thoughts on a regular basis? huh?

I be stealin' yo steez, fo sho', blingblang

and you know this 😉

lol

haha likebrad 🙂
this has got to be one of the funniest threads I've ever come across 🙂 true confessions ?
human thinking they can tame another human, stronger than another human ? defending a whole set of humans you don't know all because of astrological similarities... lol !
the ego display is just wonderful ! don't let me interrupt 🙂

I am really loving the fact that I started this thread, and is receiving a lot of feedback, let's keep this going = ).

One of the things that I have notice about most cancers that I have come in contact with..We are not just beautiful on the inside we are great looking people on the outside; And although I am sure most of us can have anyone else in the world, somehow we just put up with these men and women who treat us so badly...however I do know from experience when were done, WE ARE DONE; no one can change our minds. However, I just wish it didn't take so long...We have to get pass this lol.

ha ag, I find it interesting too but it may be part of the sensitive cancer nature to defend. I mean we all have opinions but I have to think about it a little when making an opinion about cancers because they defend everything seemingly negative about the sign. and not only defend it, also try to get personal to the person making the comments. this is where the commentator gets personal too and all goes downhill from there...
is there anymore uproar of cancers being in abusive relationships than any other signs, I don't think so... there's a sense of crying victim that's part of the sign.... they're a cardinal sign so I don't for a second think cancer doesn't do anything it doesn't want to do... they're are cardinal leadership so initiating, decisiveness is natural... they guage emotions, wait for the right time and hit so they may even stick in a bad situation just to bide their glory moment... even when cancers come to you for help, they don't really want it... it's all part of the crabbing around.

in my real life experience of cancers, it is similar .... I am having a discussion and once I disagree with something, they get this victim look - initially I would buy into it and back off... now I just laugh and say 'when you're ready to talk, you know where to find me'
I've also seen cancer stay in an unfavorable situation just to prove others wrong - it really depends but I think one man's sugar may be another man's poison.

bottom line, cancers need to embrace their method of operation instead of spending so much time defending against what they feel are criticisms .

take a peek at the other boards, cancers come off as the most humane imo... the stuff I hear about my sign is quite shockingly disturbing but does it have anything to do with me personally ? I think not, it's just a board with free exchange of opinions, why defend? everyone's entitled... my defense will prob not change perception - my defense is only self-service to me 🙂

I think cancer women are a lot easier to deal with than cancer men. All the problems on this board seem to be with cancer men and not women. Women are more open I guess. Men are more prone to games and manipulation and all things negative.

Same with Scorpio women really..direct, blunt, loyal, faithful, giving, fiesty and all things good..scorpio men on the other hand..hmm..

I have no idea...it was the topic with most posts...
If the men carried on being normal i.e communicating, I guess women wouldn't have a need to complain..but many aren't comfortable with change and when it does come about, I guess the need to "complain" rears its ugly head.

Nobody's commented on my post 😢

but communicating the way women do is not natural with men so which normal behavior or change do you mean ?
someone commented 🙂

Did you comment? aww...I don't see it..I started a thread..that's what I meant.

I do understand men communicate differently but when they do communicate as you want them to and suddenly withdrawals happen and you aren't used to them, then I guess the need to not complain, but talk it out occurs..we are humans with mixed emotions trying to understand one another. Men really are from a different planet.