Romance and Virgos

Well those of you who have read my other posts will know that this has come from absolutely nowhere but Virgo has been acting all romantic of late:

He bought me some Haighs Chocolate Truffles for Valentines Day (but gave them to me 3 days later - which was kinda cute and I didnt even expect anything), then he asked me out to lunch yesterday and we did take a 2 hour lunch = ooops LOL, and this morning I walk out the front door and there's yet ANOTHER box of truffles and a single red rose waiting for me. Not long after I receive a text "if you're free tonight, put on that red dress you look so gorgeous in and I'll pick you up at 6.30 and please have an appetite"...

OMG that, to me is very romantic and funnily enough Im not doing anything tonight, well I am now LOL.

This guy has done a complete turnaround from "not being ready" and "being petrified to get involved again"....not so long ago he did that disappearing act for a few weeks (where he was sick and situations didnt line up well for us) but now? He's come on stronger than ever before and Im loving it.

Romance is not something I thought he had in him. But one thing I'll say:....he is so sweet, so loyal and understanding and unbelievably honest - a perfect scenario for a Leo partner I can tell you that 🙂

Anyway Im kinda sitting there nice and happy on cloud 9....I know there will be more hurdles but for now Im just enjoying the attention he is giving and he expects nothing in return, just my company. Its just so easy going and carefree - not hard work like the last few disasters Ive been involved in.

Ladies trying to figure out a Virgo? patience is the key....keep busy when they do their disappearing (doesnt mean they're out with other women, just doing their analyzing and their male thing), have a life and just go with the flow for a while....it really is worth it in the end, and I should know because I almost walked away a few times but realised that it was impossible to do so with a person who is so amazingly genuine and trying so hard to conquer his fears 🙂

Awwww Chatz, that is so wonderful to hear, I am truly happy to hear of your happiness! ENJOY!

Chatz that is so terrific!!! I am so happy for you! Best to you both!

This thread should be made into a sticky.

All women interested in Virgo men should read it.

Hate to burst your bubble, and seriously, I'm glad you have this happy bubble right now, you deserve it ... but, I have to be the realistic one because that's how I roll.

1. Virgo's aren't OVERLY pampering like that with sentiment. Him doing this is for impression purposes .. thing is, since it's not in the nature of Virgo to be romantic on the ego surface of superficiality, then what is this impression he is trying to make?

Certainly, not a real one .. since this isn't in his nature .. and you even commented on being aware of this ..


2. You said that you find these romantic gestures being bestowed upon you and he isn't expecting anything in return .. so, this leads me to believe that you aren't giving gestures back in return and just letting your ego soak up what he gives you.

That could be a mistake, a costly mistake .. every person in a relatinship, regardless of sign/gender/age ... WANTS .. NEEDS .. gestures returned back to them to let them know that they are considered special.

If you were the one who was bestowing upon another person romantic and sentimental gestures, while this person soaked it up but didn't return these things to you in like kind gestures ... then you would become disgruntled, even though you thought you didn't have an expectation of recriprocation in your conscious mind.

Because we do expect these things back .. even when we aren't aware of it.



To be honest with you .. what you wrote about the ride you're on right now .. sounds like a dream. The one that involves the Knight in Shining Armour coming to take you away ... thing is, what's after this scene in the dream? He takes you where?

This doesn't sound real to me, Chatz .. it sounds like a fantasy.

A Virgo doesn't wrap illusions around people, to make false impressions upon them ... unless the mean to use.

I think you should come back down to earth and look at this for what it is. He has become aware that your Lionness adores ego stroking, and he has tapped into this to keep you in this place .... there must be an agenda. You need to put aside how this makes you go ga-ga-ga that your being stroked and looked at reality.

A Virgo doesn't treat a person this way to whom they plan on having a real life with .. this is the treatment of the Charmer .. he's making a false impression of himself on you .....


And you need to get your feet out of the clouds so you can see this ....

A Virgo doesn't treat a person this way to whom they plan on having a real life with .. this is the treatment of THE Charmer .. he's making a false impression of himself on you .....

*******

RIGHT ON PA!!! This is yet another charmer, be careful when guys are EXTRA SWEET!
They may be playin with another girl too and keeping you in the loop too for long to feel safe.
When an unemotional virgo does that, it means it is not for real and I EXPERIENCED IT!!!!

I hear you, leokitten .. I remember everything that has happened with Chatz and her Virgo thus far.

That's not where I'm going with this .. I'm not talking about what is deserved .. I'm meaning on the psychological level .. if a person doesn't feel special by reciprocation of gestures, then they get upset.

Just like with the begining of this relationship .. chatz thought she was patient, she thought she could understand him in that his pain of losing his wife was tremendous, she thought she could endure all of it, and was understanding of him .... but, in reality, his not returning to her, his reciprocation of attention/affection on the emotional level led her to pull away because this is what people need, even if they think it isn't expected.

And so, what I'm saying is that ... if he is presenting her with sentiments on the romantic level and she isn't reciprocating back to him so he can also feel special .... then he's going to feel like pulling away from her, just like she felt that she needed to pull away from him, in which she did do because of this very thing.


Relationships aren't suppose to be about putting forth effort, just so you can sit back and coast while the other person is giving. This giving and recieving is suppose to be simultaneous, not a turn-taking event as if it is being regarded on the deserving level, if it's to be appreciated.

"He bought me some Haighs Chocolate Truffles for Valentines Day (but gave them to me 3 days later - which was kinda cute and I didnt even expect anything)"



Good point.


Why would a man give a girl her Valentine present 3 days later? If a guy is all about being sensitive to her feelings, like all this over-top stuff that is being described in here ... then wouldn't it be logical to assume that a guy who is this attentive to his woman's sensitivities would make DAMN SURE to live it? Giving a Valentines gift 3 days afterwards is the opposite of being attentive to her female sensitivities .... furthermore, it was after this 3-day-late gift came in that he started planting roses and dates in her mind.



lol, guilt .. you made him feel guilty, Chatz.


That's not real, honey .. that's not giving you something from sincerity .. that's giving because you made him.


I'm thinking that now that the two of you have decided that you really want to have and cherish this relationship, that perhaps you both need to step outside of yourselves here ..... and run a self-check.

Sometimes, it's a good thing to get a little distance, so you can see more clearly.

That's not real, honey ..
****
I agree... Just like the virgo ex I dealt with... He was using every thing I liked to please the other cap with same DOB as mine, think about the phychological state of his mind. I wonder his mind and heart in sync or not. How can you think of one person in mind and be with another person physically with constant compariosion running at the back. I can not operate like that, it will make me mad , everyone is different. SOme of these virgos seem to be crazy because of their "extraordinary" "intelligence"!!!

That's not real, honey ..
****
I agree... Just like the virgo ex I dealt with... He was using every thing I liked to please the other cap with same DOB as mine, think about the phychological state of his mind. I wonder his mind and heart in sync or not. How can you think of one person in mind and be with another person physically with constant compariosion running at the back. I can not operate like that, it will make me mad , everyone is different. SOme of these virgos seem to be crazy because of their "extraordinary" "intelligence"!!!

Lots of typing errors in the previous message. Please pardon me for that!

The only thing I would suggest is because this is somewhat new, is to be aware that you don't really know him well enough to truly relax, your still in the hot and cold zone and he could flip cold any moment and disarm you but for the most part I see nothing wrong in this scene, it's clear his highly attracted to her but he's not in the love zone yet so he opted to do something before and after which in my opinion is completely okay.

As for her not giving back, well she is giving back by being present, attentive, loyal, honest, open, communicative, present, fun, giving and being a great listener and men love a great receiver, him giving to her builds love and attraction on HIS part, women need to learn how to receive and not always feel they need to give and give which feels controlling to a man and Chatz is a wonderful giver, I trust this virgo will never lack from getting her love, leos give good love, sometimes it's better to receive than give when it comes to women with men, it's all about balance and Chatz has been with some super duper selfish non-giving men in her past, she's trying to create stronger attraction and the best way to do that is to show him that she adores how he gives to her, it encourages him to give more in the future and how she receives will either kill attraction or build attraction.

I sense because he did something before and after that he truly wanted her to see how special she is but he didn't want the love day looming over the relationship which can cause confusion in a new relationship, they are not kids/teenagers, they are adults and as adults VDay takes on a whole new life and meaning, they are not in that zone yet with one another...slow and steady wins the race..

If he felt guilt then that is something Chatz will have to take observation with but because I have helped her in the past and got a personal glimpse of her love language she doesn't play that guilt crap, she's a straight up girl and doesn't play head games or even dance around disappointment, she has been through enough with bad men to know that it doesn't pay to play guilt trips...

virgos don't do things without giving it thought, things have to be perfect, he put some thought into it which means a lot for a virgo

Romance and Virgos

How about a Virgo Man's opinion?

We can be very romantic, but in a traditional way. We can also get into ruts - though our ladies may feel like these are Nice Ruts! My Virgo Dad had certain "holiday gift sets" for my Leo Mom: Valentine's always meant flowers, candy, and a romantic card or letter; her birthday was always some clothing item(s) she wouldn't buy for herself; wedding anniversary was always jewelry; etc, etc, etc...

I've tried to avoid that predictable behavior, but I am a Virgo...

We're not naturally spontaneous - the price paid for being reliable - but we will work at pulling off some surprises if we know you like them.

Chatz, I don't think your VG is trying to trick you with his romantic gestures, and he's also not being fake. He's making a sincere effort for you - same as any other VG in love would do...

I could spout off a long list of romantic antics I've done over the years. Many were out of character for me, but I did what I could to make the occasion memorable for the woman I loved...

Now, isn't that romantic??

Wow OK, hmmmm some interesting points made but for a start I never made Virgo feel guilty in any way shape or form and I was actually thankful I didnt get a VD present on the day given I didnt know how he felt and I didnt know if I should do ANYTHING. I am only assuming the truffles were for VD (3 days late or not, I dont care, the fact he made ANY effort is good to me). Im sure he was nervous about how I'd take it all. Hard to describe what that means.

The question rgarding he's giving and Im not reciprocating? well when I said he expects nothing in return it does not mean I give him nothing in return and I have been known to buy HIM dinner and to cook HIM a meal with all the trimmings at my house (and seriously food is the key to his heart LOL). Although other than for his birthday and Xmas I have not bought him gifts (because again I dont know if I should or how he'd take it) but Ive been there through thick and thin (and these forums dont allow for all the things that go on during the course of a week and Im sure you'd all be bored if I disclosed everything that happened). Being a Leo does not mean that I expect anything because that is the absolute truth, I just dont and Im one of those Leos who do actually enjoy giving than receiving but of course its nice to receive something from the heart and its not like it was a diamond ring...it was a rose and some chocolates. I dont think he's trying to charm me, he knows Ive been through a tough time of late with my brother being caught up in the Victorian bushfires and his wife going through last chemo attempts to save her life....it hasnt been easy and Ive tried so very hard not to lean on him throughout it all given what he's gone through....I know he'd be there for me but I dont want to set him backwards.

I think our "relationship" is a very fair and balanced one and Im never too frightened to ask HIM out for lunch or dinner and yes, pay for both of us. Im not a woman who wants to be paid for, I dont expect constant gifts or ego stroking. I know he's not seeing other women as Im not seeing other men (something we have discussed only recently). Im ok when he wants to go into his cave and think/analyze or just be alone to enjoy whatever it is that he does because I need it too.

If this is a fantasy or a dream or cloud 9 and Im deluded? well then so be it, I'll come down gracefully because its true what I say. Im not that naive to not remember there will be many hurdles still.

I dont believe he's being fake either Dyar....there's nothing in it for him. He is the one who has been guiding this relationship to where it is. Ive stopped pursuing but am always glad to see and/or hear from him. Im not going to push somebody to love me if they just dont.

He bought me a gift because HE wanted to not because some stupid tradition (Valentines Day). And he even shared them with me (I think thats what he really wanted - an excuse to have some j/k).

He's bought tickets to a comedy show in a months time and we're going to go into town early to have dinner and just walk around and do some window shopping in the mall....I will be paying for dinner. He is planning ahead (well in advance as you can see) and for a guy to do that? it means he's interested in continuing to see where things can Im good with that and it feels good to know there is something to look forward to and not just have spontaneous get togethers....some thought about the future is a good sign 🙂 I seriously do believe what we're doing is more than fair...again, I dont need to be bought - neither of us do...we both earn a good income, both own our own houses, and we're intelligent adults who dont need to play games. I guess I was just excited because I havent had this kind of attention for quite some time.

Tiki is right, Ive been with some incredibly selfish jerks where "I" was spoiling them rotten only to be used and then discarded when things got too serious with the same old line "Im not ready to be with anybody" or "the timing is wrong" or all the other crap a woman can hear from a player. Virgo is no player and trust me, Im pretty good at spotting the signs. He may not be ready for a full on relationship at this point, and maybe he might never be but he's trying and I'll give him credit for that. The friendship is too good to lose at any rate. We're both finding our way in this relationship given the past....I think we're doing ok

Mine is romantic as well, Chatz. He spoils me!



Yep, you're doing okay. I'm glad for you both.

Indeed, it appears that Chatz is sort of going with the flow of things and enjoying the ride- taking it one day at a time while staying true to herself. Nice to see a woman who knows her self-worth.

Thank you - I guess I didnt explain my initial post all that well with regard to "not expecting anything in return"....doesnt matter...all I know is that things have improved even more and I do feel confident of it all working out well. Ive learnt patience and understanding over the last few years and he is slowly coming out of his doom and gloom....its nice to see it too.

He's asking me out, getting a little more adventurous and yeah its all good 🙂

Thanks again

So a VirGuy is not always being phony or has something up his sleeve when he's exhibiting overtly romantic behavior. If nothing else, it's usually a sign he's horny



I would have to go w/the last part of this statement, "usually a sign he's horny"


yeppers, that sums up my expierence w/the Virguy/Verminguy

if nothing else, chalk that one up to he is horny.

LOL....like most men behave 😛

I don't really see that as funny, nor romantic.



So, a woman would not only settle, also delude herself into believing the man is giving these sentiments to me because he's romantic, and he wants to endear me to him because of nurturing my female emotions, as in being a genuine support for me ....... when in reality, it's in place to buy me so he could fuck me?

Doesn't really care about being emotionally supported for ME, it's for him to get a nut?



And that's not only acceptable, it's made into a joke, so it can be glossed over in ignorance of it?

I dont think its a joke, I think its just how a lot of men are...we've just, as a society, made it acceptable. How many women out there marry for money? How many women only stay with men for what they can get out of it? Come on!!! Women have a lot to answer for too!! I certainly wouldnt put out just because I got something though and Im more than capable and do at times, to give a small gift as a gesture of how I feel towards somebody without expecting something in return.

My Virgo doesnt give anything just to get in the sack with me, and many times we've just gone out to lunch or dinner and just hung out with no sex. He has bought me small things (just brought them over and had a coffee, then off he went...it was just to see me for a little while)...that's so sweet!!!

I will be seeing my Virgo this weekend and FINALLY he is taking me for that motorbike ride in the hills - yes his idea and it will be after spending the night with him - he's not in this just to score, he's genuine and caring and Ive been with enough players in the past to know the difference now. He could have just spent the night with me and sent me on my way but he WANTS to do more than just that. He is slowly evolving and slowly escaping the torment he was putting himself through in not feeling he was worthy in finding love again. Whether he is "in love with me" may not be the case but I do know he loves me. Yes there is a difference, I know that. Im happy though to see where this goes because it is REFERESHING to be with somebody who has morals and enjoys stuff like I do.

Hard to explain but yeah its all good.