An Aquarius Love Story?

Hey guys, I used to go by aniyarae, I deleted my old account when I wasnt really around anymore/of much help...it's been awhile, haha



My Aqua friend of about 5-6 years snapped and wrote me love letters, serenading how he felt from the mountaintops. So, for all of you non-believers, believe it. It happens.

He bought a plane ticket to come and see me, he says he's really excited.

Yet, he wants to keep things "casual" when he comes, and he made a comment about being at a party in his area with a ton of girls.

I know it was said to make me feel insecure/jealous, but now I'm not feeling so good about him coming to see me, instead. Haha, I don't want him making me feel like I have to compete, or that I'm a "casual" girl in another state.


I'm confused, but I don't want to talk to him about it, because I want to figure out if it's on my end first. I do know that when you first start dating someone, you're just friends with them...but then I also know that you can't just write someone love letters and then act like just friends is ok when you just said it wasn't. I get that he's probably really afraid, and probably fighting with himself.

So do I play by his rules and be just a friend and nothing more when he comes to see me, so that there is no confusion? Any ideas of how I can handle it?

Thank you for any help you may be willing to give!

Do what feels natural for you. When you first read those love letters from him, what kind of emotions or feelings came to mind? Did you feel excited & couldn't wait to jump into his arms? Or were you confused, not really know if you felt the same in return? There really is NO right or wrong answer when it comes to going with the flow & going by how you feel.

Some men feel more comfortable releasing their feelings in the form of writing or in more indirect ways. And that's all good & well, BUT one thing that men do that confuses AND turns wowen off is that they often don't have that same passion, aggressiveness & UMPH when they finally face the woman face to face; and that can become a problem, especially if the woman is not 100% sure that she even wants what he's offering. You have to ask yourself, does it feel good that he's professinig his love to me b/c I love him alot OR does it only feel good b/c SOMEBODY is professing their love to me? There's a difference.

When you hang out with him, just be you. If you want to wear your heart on your sleeve, then go right ahead. If you really feel like this guy was sincere in his writing then the best thing that you can do is be yourself & go with the flow; after all, you never know, you're ability to be the REAL you might be what made him fall for you in the first place. If you're all over him, sure you're taking the risk of him rejecting you or pointing out to you that he wasn't literally serious, but then again it all comes back to how sincere you felt his letters were. If he WAS sincere, then go for it, considering I can't even imagine the courage it took for him to come clean all these years later; the least you can do is drop all your fears & dive head first. Don't let your fear of rejection stop you.

Hey- sorry for the late reply

thanks a lot, krysrenee7. I think you hit the nail right on the head; you're right, i'm not 100% sure, even though I've known him for a long time. I don't think it's whether it's the idea of love or loving him for who he is; it's whether, knowing who he ACTUALLY is and all of the things that come along with him and if I want THAT or not. And when I say, "all the things", I mean just like the example of above, of him feeling the need to provoke; there's still an immaturity about several things that I'm not really comfortable with.

I know this is my choice alone...I'm just going to take it slow.

PS: I notice you write super long replies to many "help me" posts on this board, and I"m so shocked you never (seem to) get tired of it! Do you enjoy doing writing back?

haha oh my lord feisty aquarian...thanks for that! hahaha

he actually INCLUDED a section from romeo and juliet in his letter... the part where its like "you are my truth, my rising sun"

what a loooser 😉

haha kidding...but seriously, i understand that it must have been soo hard for him to be emotional that he had to find quotes from other sources, lolol

XFoosMe- I know, right? I talked to my brother about the situation, and basically, my brother said he's "really, really afraid of [me] rejecting him". He's talking himself up, (with the comment about the girls) and making it seem like he has good intentions, (saying he wants to be casual in order to build something serious) so basically that leaves me in no other position but to sit back and watch what he does to figure out how serious he is. He's followed through on everything he said he would do, (actually sending the letters, buying the plane ticket, and calling/emailing me 4+ times a week, all without me asking) it's just a matter of how much to give him. I know that sounds cruel, but really, I think at this point its better to just watch and be nice and be honest that I don't know how I feel about him.

I'm realizing that it would devastate me if I were to even kiss him during his visit, and then find out a month later he's dating someone. Because, well, "just friends" don't kiss each other.

Feisty Aquarian- I'm sure he does "want me", I think he's just crippled in fear. And I think it IS a big deal to buy an airplane ticket to see someone, anyone outside your immediate family, you know? That's a big step. My only guess is he's afraid to admit to himself that it's actually happening, if that makes sense? Which is what makes me think that he still might be a bit immature.