A little insite from ppl who know

Hi all, I have been lurking and reading here for a while... I'm not good at posting to boards so bear with me.I waited to post to see where my relationship was headed. I have been with a aqua guy for 4 months now (I'm pisces) there was an immediate connection on both sides...he said something about it right away that he liked the vibe and having me around...I'm going to try and just give you a quick idea of how things are...we talk 3,4,5 times a week & msg's and emails are alway checked his and minehe has his own business which takes all his time.. he's very devoted to it an his employees. He is back in his country now so we mainly talk through msg's and emails. He is the sweetest person I have ever known and he says the same about me... I have told him from the beginninghow much I liked him. He always is calling me sweet names and doesn't mind me calling him the same. We have great talks for hours. He always tells me he thinks I'm smart, loves me typing to him even while he's working late at night not to stop, he thinks we are a collective force. He isn't the best about answering a msg but ALWAYS says he is so sorry and will I please forgive him... but talks alot when w just he is so worried and busy with work right now. I know that is a big problem right now he has shared with me the business's problems so I can understand. I know now I love him and have always been pretty sure his feelings are the same as mine. I just know and I think he knows to that I have been in love with him... well this last time instead of the usual sweet names he said "my love" and that he will be thinking of me and the usual hugs and etc. He will be back here this fall and we have a great trip together planned...his idea he is taking care of everything. When he said "my love" at first I didn't think a lot of it and my gf said you better think a lot of it aqua's don't use that word and does mean you are his love. I know the feelings are deeper between us than what I can share here if all these things he means which I know he does then is it possible that I am his love? And if so why would he go a week and a half and only check his msg's and not reply although he is never one to reply unless I am online at the same time and most of the time he will msg me first... I have read that aqua's won't use words they don't mean and won't play with your heart. Any opinion on him only checking msgs sometimes and not replying... cont' sorry...

could it be he is that busy and it he does reply he always ends up staying up hours later than he should
which I know could make his work suffer and I know he does msg me when he has time to actually talk.
I accept him just as he is and wouldn't want him to change any at all. But the not answering for a
week and a half bothers me a little. Is it normal for a aqua to be this way? Our last conversation was
almost 6 hours long. Could he have scared himself by saying my love to me? Thanks for any insite.

I apologize but I would like to add... that even though he doesn't always reply I still leave him msg's that he reads and says he loves and is always great hearing from me... and he does answer everything when we are talking... Should I ask him why he goes a week or so with out talking and only reading... I told him before that I felt ignored and he said it was in no way intended hun I'm sorry you feel that way... thanks all... I really appreciate any thoughts. We do seem to fit together really well even he says so...

Well one, him sharing with you the problems that he's having with his business was his version/way of saying, "Don't expect for me to be up under you 24/7 b/c even though I like you, still understand that I have my own life."

And yes, you heard right about Aquas & the L word. The only thing is, if he didn't officially & blatently come out & say "I love you" then you're not out of the clear yet. It's no different than when a man calls you his "baby." The problem is even though he might not necessarily call everyone his baby, it still doesn't mean that he literally considers you his love. It probably took him a long time to call you "my love" but clearly he didn't necessarily say he loved you either, so I can understand why it's bothering you & why you're a little confused.

And yes, Aquas are known for not responding for a long period of time, even to the ones they love. Aquas are QUALITY people, not QUANTITY people. When he's not around you or can't spend good quality time talking to you, he feels that he is doing you a FAVOR by not responding at all. Which explain why when he actually does get to talk to you, he spends all of his time apologizing or making the convo. a good one. Aquas need their space & can love you just as much as you love them, without having to speak to you or tell you they love you every 5 minutes. And if his random distance is starting to bother you then tell him IMMEDIATELY before he starts to assume that you understand & accept this. There's no shame in being true to yourself. After all, if you expect for your relationship to go far with him, isn't it crucial that you 2 establish real & sometimes uncomfortable/vulnerable communication anyways? I think this long distance thing is really starting to bother you. It was cool at first before you really loved him, that he wouldn't respond back when he said he would. But now, understandably, you're ready to take things to the next level & your true personality is coming out. Pisces needs to be reassured all the time in order to feel comfort in relationships vs. Aquas needing fewer reassurances (b/c they test you so dang on much to confirm their suspicions or feelings anyways)

And it's possible that he became distant after he even so much as used the word "love" b/c his distance is a protection shield he uses against rejection and/or embarrassment. He might've used "my love" b/c he was too afraid of using the official phrase "I love you." And so to test you out he just cut the slack/beat around the bush & used another phrase. And his distance might never make sense to you, but in his mind, it does b/c it's his way of leaving the situation (right after he opened up his heart to you) to make sure that he didn't say those words from emotions, but instead b/c of his logic & genuwine love for you.

Aquas are so complex & WE know this about ourselves. When we open up to someone (mentally/physically) or can feel ourselves starting to fall for someone that we aren't quite sure about trusting them with our heart, we'll go ahead & say the L word, but then again will randomly detach too all at the same time. We always get nervous and/or fearful at around the time when we say that word b/c we really mean it & just hope & pray that the person we care about will not reject us, tell us we're moving too fast, or leave us high & dry b/c of that word being used. We Aquas know how we can selfishly lead on others & so it's no wonder we're always expecting for others to be the same way back towards us.

If you pay close enough attention, you'll notice that around the time he opens up to you or says/does something that suprised the hell out of you (that came from his HEART) it'll be around the same time that he randomly detaches or becomes distant. The good thing is, if he really does mean all he says, the distance is only temporary & will go away as soon as he finds his comfort again & as soon as he convinces himself that he made the right decision by opening up to you

Krysrenee7
Thanks for responding. Complex... that is true. I have been trying to learn about the aqua's and at the
same time know he is still a man. There is so many ppl that say don't do this and that he will run...
so far I haven't listened to much of that and have said/treated him like I would anyone else. And we
have just gotten closer. I have noticed that after he says or does something unexpected he will distance
for a while, sometimes just a day or two. He has said somethings and said it's coming from the heart sweets.
The distance thing actually bothered me a lot more before not as much now I have kind of come
to expect it and the fact that when I told him I felt ignored when he didn't respond and he said he was so
sorry and it was in no way intended made me think better about it although that really didn't address
the distance thing. I don't expect him to respond to everthing but yet he seems to look for messages from
me. So it would be ok to tell him that I love trying to understand him? but it bothers me some when you
go a week or so with out speaking at all. Or should it be more blunt? Or do aqua's not like people
trying to understand them? He has also told me... you surely are more than special and you make me feel
special, I'll be thinking of you, miss you. tightest hugs and loads of kisses So am I safe in
assuming that he likes me more than just a friend as I do him and that he could be falling for me.
He says I do lots of things to him... and he does to me also. I do think I am starting to love him lots.
I was reading where you had written about the chase so am I right in thinking he doesn't mind me chasing him?
Isn't that kind of what this situation is like? We get closer and he shares so much and is so sweet & loving and
then gets distance to see if I will come after him. Which I do... full speed ahead.
Thanks again Krysrenee7 I love all your post. Could I maybe PM you sometime? I don't want to mess this up. I
think he feels the same way I do. We at times seem to mirror each other with our words, I don't know if that is
good or bad? And we have tons in common. He is always imagining what our trip is going to be like.

Well honey, I think you're safe with this Aqua. Based on what you've told me, I don't see any signs that he is not into you or that he's just bulling you. What I DO see though is you both trying to play it safe on the words you use with eachother & that's just b/c neither of you fully 100% trust the other with your vulnerable heart yet. And hey, the fact that he's still pushing & allowing himself to further get to know you & like you is a GREAT thing b/c it means that the only way to go from now is UP.

And oh man, I could've told you that when you mentioned the "distance" thing to him, he was going to try to avoid talking about it all costs. But trust me, he heard you clearly & right now he's probably taking it all in & hoping that his distance from you hasn't turned you off...After all he's not being distant b/c he doesn't want you anymore, no, he's being distant b/c he absolutely DOES want you! I know it's the weirdest & most ironic thing, but once he gets a little more comfortable & once he feels he has alot more QUALITY time with you like you deserve, you'll start noticing a change in him & how great your conversations are.

When Aquas first fall for someone, you'd think they'd be open books & wear their hearts on their sleeves. No, not quite yet. They have to not only fall for you, BUT they have to see how you're going to take it when they do & I think that's what he's doing now by being distant (testing you to see if you're chasing him even further after hearing the L word). And once he sees that your chase is still persistent, THEN will he finally start to be himself & won't feel vulnerable or afraid to show his true feelings. Just be patient. Aquas are so complex, even WE get on our nerves & get impatient with ourselves

And sure if you want to message me in private that's cool. Sounds like this situation is complex & I'm sure there are some details that should be a little bit more private. I'm here.

Oh my dear! I just red your post, like I'm reading all this messages about Aquas (which takes me all nights long :-)))... The SIMILAR experiences I have with my Aqua! krys - you're just fabulous with explaining us all about Aquas. Thank you sooo much!!
My dear used to tell me sweet words (but not often, and when he is in good mood only) like "my little cat" (he adores cats! and don't understand why I'm looking him the way "arghh cat, I'm not you cat" LOL, but he finds cats adorable), "my beauty", but then he starts to tell me "my love", since we made our first "quarrel" (it wasn't intentional, not from my point of view, but he considered all of my sentences regarding relationship like some kind of attack to his peaceful and calm conversation, well yeah, I'm still temperament cappy :-). Since then he never again said to me "my love", but told me that he loves me (??) But now is his phase of distance and I calm down too, so I'm still waiting for his return from long haul trip to see how will he relate to me after 10 days not seeing eachother... Our "goodbye" was a little shock to me cause I expect big kisses and lot of words, but he just gave me a small kiss, say by dear and jumped into his friend's car. But next day he emailed to me saying he is ok, country is amazing, people good and kind, nothing about "how are you; miss you, love you" or similar words. It seems like he is really distant and he wrote to me like he will do to any other friend, but this is way he is and now I get the point. Freedom. which allows to me also to be the best and free as I am, as I was before I met him. This is an amazing detail in relationship which I find as my personal way to be just what you are and let the other person be what they are. It is really personal growth through this other extraordinary person. Aquas are just the people we all have to be! or try to become...

Exactly

I really do love my Aqua. I never felt this way before. it is like an natural, friendly, easy love, without too much explanations and arguing "what do you want, why don't you do this..." this is so unimportant.
And the best thing is when he do something for me which I never expect he will, like noone before. No flowers, no big words, no promises. But if I tell him I like to watch documentaries, next day he will prepare lots of GB of various films and we will sit down and watch them 3 night long if we want to. And he will always reply to my mails, calls or messages, and he will always first call me or say hallo on chat, and he will do anything I tell him to do which i find nice for me. Now I realized that when he becomes distant some way that's nothing to have with me personally, or with his real feelings. And he always, but ALWAYS says: I am sorry, I don't meant to hurt you, sorry if I didn't realize that you feel this way, or used wrong words because of my momentary selfishness. Always. I never asked him to apologize. He just knew when he should do that because he felt that maybe he hurt my feelings. This is an honest and open person which any moment would like to hear my real thoughts and opinions with no hidden meanings, to be open to him like he could be open to me. And when is silents, then we are silent, with no hard feelings. Sooo good feeling!