Can you have a happy after an unhappy childhood?

I'm wondering what the current opinion on whether people who have had difficulties in their childhood, be it extreme shyness, poor self-image, learning difficulties, and anything else that causes them emotional upset as children. Can they grow into well adjusted and happy adults or does what upset them in their formative years set the course for more problematic issues when they're fully grown?

I have a very layman's knowledge of human psychology but I recall that one school of thought is that a person's problems almost always have their origin from some event that took place in the person's childhood and so use regression techniques to try to deal with it. I think that has been passed up in favour of cognitive behavioural applications to attempt to resolve the person's hang-ups by changing the affects of their outward behavior as a means to changing the feelings that prompt them to behave in such a way.

Or do some feel that your kind of childhood and upbringing will determine completely what type of an adult you will become and no therapy or will power will really affect the outcome?

OK the title should read: Can You Be A Happy Adult After An Unhappy Childhood?

"Can they grow into well adjusted and happy adults or does what upset them in their formative years set the course for more problematic issues when they're fully grown? "

"Or do some feel that your kind of childhood and upbringing will determine completely what type of an adult you will become and no therapy or will power will really affect the outcome?"

Hmm,okay I grew up in a ghetto in detroit,seen people being shot,stabbed,training pit bulls to "fight" with smaller animals mainly cats and smaller dogs,my best friend was hit by a car and then after the dude stopped,got her up and checking her out a crazy person in another car killed her by hitting his car when I was 6.I had my crack addict uncle living in our basement so lots of incidents hanging out on the floor rather than being completely comfortable walking around the house due to possibly being shot.Then a security guard who they also liked to harrass because they thought he was a cop.My uncle was murdered and it was called suicide just because it was the easier thing to do with the case due to not enough evidance beyond the atosy making it clear he dead through a head injury rather than hanging,they were techically after his twin brother again over drugs.I was molested twice.My fathers head had been smacked around with a krobar,as well as myself,siblings and babysitter thought we witnessed him being killed when a car crashed into our garage but luckily he and my mother walked in a few minutes later wanting to know why the garage was gone pretty much reminding us that BOTH of them went to the store earlier-that was really fcuked up when your only 7.

Found out your VERY lucky if you have a car when you end up homeless in the middle of winter in the negatives(degree wise and looking a wall of snow around you is actually a good thing for the temperature "wind" factor).When your mother marrys someone whos a useless drunk you have to rely on your school being the only means for food.When gas gets shut off you actually get used to cold showers and wearing outerwear inside the house.You find out the only thing in life thats worth caring about is whats living not posessions,meaning don't get used or care to much about missing "houses" when you move especially when your mother doesn't pay bills.I got to witness what makes women who are domestically abused think they "love" the guy both from watching it while growing up with my grandmother regularly being slapped around by her husband and again recently with my sister and her husband.Parents who play "favorite" games when they get divorced only prove they don't care either.Most of my faimly is crack addicts or aloholics....

I think the people who whine and use the stuff 24/7 about that stuff REALLY effecting them enough to not want to get out of it are full of it.In one way or another it either it isn't really that bad enough to get up and do something about it or they are milking "pity me" crap for some reason.

Oh yeah another pointer,if you have rats in detroit don't even other getting a cat,cats are snacks the those rats.

You guys have been through some very harrowing experiences and I admire and congratulate you on the way you have risen above it instead of letting it overcome you. Your personal stories are an inspiration to others.

It is a matter of personal willpower in the end. You must take control of your life situation and make it work for you. In the case of Brahn...he HAD a mother/grandmother whose goal was to steer him in the right direction...HOWEVER I have seen MANY children from middle class "happy" homes with both parents pushing them to be the best and they turn out screwed up.

On the other hand, there are many more who are caught in a cycle of degeneration with NO ONE to push them at home. But the ones who succeeded had it within themselves to change their lives and break the cycle. They might have had someone outside of their family to help them see the "light" but it all boils down to what it is their heart. You can wallow in self-pity or you can move on...simple as that because things that have happened in the past cannot be changed.

Personally...I was poor when I was younger. Not city poor but country sticks poor living in shacks that barely covered your head. There were times when we had to fish for our food. (I mean literally if we did not catch any fish, we would not eat REGARDLESS of the fact that my mother AND father went to honest jobs/schools everyday) In the summer I chopped cotton in the sweltering heat 8 hours a day for $ 25...and one time we had a Christmas were we couldn't even afford a TREE, not to mention gifts...I like Brahn, feel these things build character and prepare you for lifes inevitable hardships. That's another reason why I believe in the power of love...at times all I HAD was the love of my family. So I guess SOME might think I had a difficult childhood, but looking at the lives of certain others, I am THANKFUL for everything that I experienced. Hey if there is EVER a natural disaster of worldwide proportions and I survive the initial impact of it, I know how to live off the land and that is a skill that will ALWAYS come in handy...

I DO however think that sexual and physical abuse by a parent is terribly harder to overcome...but it can be done. The more women I talk to, the more I realize how common rape and molestation by family members is. I was molested by a cousin and it really confused me so these people I have more sympathy towards. Especially if they are unable to get professional help.