Help with Aqua bf situation?

Alright so background, he's an Aqua with a rising sign in Taurus and moon in Capricorn. Im a Pisces with rising sign in Cancer and moon in Capricorn.

So ill try and make the story short. Pretty much me, my bf, and a few of our friends went drinking at a bar. One of my friends got realllly drunk so we had to leave because she was crying and falling over and stuff. My bf got annoyed and told me to take care of her. Well I was doing that the whole two hrs while everyone else was hanging out and just when we're gonna leave, cops stop by and interrogate her cause she's really drunk. Me and this other guy stay behind to try and help her because we're sober and only had one drink. On the other hand, my bf and two of our other friends pretend like they dont know us and run off because they've had a lot to drink and I guess dont want to get in trouble. Well long story short I get tested by the cops and they let me go because im sober but my friend gets arrested because she's a bad drunk and acts like a bitch to the cops.

Afterwards I call my bf and tell him what happened. He tells me that i should just go home and that he already left too. This makes me so mad and he immediately hangs up and avoids me the rest of the night. I mean the guy ditched me and then doesnt bother to see if Im ok or if I got in trouble! Then I find out two days later that him and our other two friends went back to his place and drank the rest of the night. He didnt even bother to call or check up on me to see if I was ok, and even went home with friends to hang out with them without even asking me if I wanted to! So I get even more mad and the past two days he's been avoiding talking to me until "you calm down." Whenever we're on the phone he pretends like nothing wrong and when I start to express that Im upset, he says "I have to go. Bye."

I dont know whats wrong with him and why he doesnt seem to give a shit that Im upset and doesnt feel guilty about what happened. He says that he's stressed with school and cant deal with me complaining and yelling. But apparently he's not that stressed with school because instead of spending the night with me he went out to hang out with friends. Granted, he did ask me if I wanted to go, but when I said no he just said ok and that was the ends of that.

I mean whyyyy cant he show me that he cares more?? He acts like he prefers his friends over me allll the time. I mean whenever I want him to hang out I say stuff like...

"reallly? are u sure? pleaseee *puppy dog eyes*" I mean if he wanted to see me, wouldnt he try harder rather than just accept it and move one? Like i was tired so i wasnt in the mood to go out, but if he did ask me a couple times I know I would have given in.

Also, what am I supposed to do when it comes to our argument? I mean Im not trying to stress him out but it really really bothers me that he just ditched me when the cops came. He says its not his problem that my friend was acting stupid but he still should have at least checked up on me to see if i was ok! And I just dont know what to do. It's like i cant ever get angry with him otherwise he'll just run away and pretend like nothings wrong. Im sick of it. I like talking my problems out right away rather than avoiding it for days and then finalllly talking about it. Im just so stressed until then. He on the other hand can just seem to move on and not care that anything is wrong? Help!! What do I do??

Oh and we've been together for 2 1/2 years if anyone asks

My gawd...pisces/aquas. What the hell draws us together?

Anywho...sorry about your friend... that sucks. Well okay so I'm applying logic and not emotions. You have to think like aquas to be with an aqua.

1. Your bf is drunk. Cops are around. Being intoxicated in public can and will lead to arrest. Him leaving is the right call. Now I hope he called a cab cause the way you described everyone was drunk so if you too drunk to be around cops you're too drunk to drive. I'll get off my soapbox.

2. He knows you're alright because you're sober, hence you shouldn't be in trouble with the cops. Why would you? Are you going to punch a cop for hauling your drunk friend to jail?

3. Him telling you to go home is logical. What can you do? I don't think you can bail her out with her being drunk. She has to sober up. All you can do is go home.

4. You guys are fighting. Why would he ask you over? That is such a buzz kill who would want to be around friends that are fighting? It's not his place it's his friends. I've been in the situation of my two dating friends fighting at my home. NOT cool. Hell this might not of even been his call. If so I don't blame him. He's having fun with friends. Why invite you if both of you are fighting?

5. Aquas don't like drama jor emotional expressions such as anger. You pulling that card will equal I have to go.

6. He stressed with school and hanging out with friends is NOT going to increase his stress level. Him hanging out with his unhappy gf WILL increase his stress level hun. Okay if he ask you to go you say no, he says ok. That should be the end of it. Why are you pissed? What cause you're not going he can't?! Oh honey say it ain't so!

7. Friends > gf. Everytime with aquas dear...everytime. This is the aqua of the aquas. Friendships are the most sacred form of relationships for aquas. Hence they don't go into relationships with people who are not their friends first.

Ok... So from one mermaid to another. Chill out, calm down you're letting your emotions go into overdrive and are fueling you which is a HUGE no no for aquas. If you wanna keep him harness that. You're looking at things irrationally and letting your emotions rule over your mental process. You're not thinking in an analytical way. I don't think what he did was wrong. Sorry.... he applied logic to these situations hun.

If you're expecting your aqua to appear on a white steed trying to sweep you off your feet and beg for you. bahaha holy fuck I can't even type that without laughing my arse off. Honey to put it extremely lightly. That shite AIN'T gonna happen. Go for a fire sign...not Sag though.

You're only seeing the situation through your eyes. See it through his eyes. That will help greatly. It isn't his problem your friend acted like an idiot and landed in jail. Aquas mostly don't fight... so if your looking for one all you're going to get is silence or avoidance.

My advise to you is to read up on aqua males, because it seems like you don't know how they deal with things. Get informed look at the situation from his eyes then learn to let go. If you can't try to talk about the situation WITHOUT emotions. If you truly can't do this... and your unfulfilled maybe aquas aren't for you. I'm not trying to be mean.

But as a mermaid I know I NEED bluntness. I just need it. We don't need sunshine blown up our arses so I'm not even going to inhale and pucker up. Tough luv babe. Stop pouting start analyzing. You MUST do this to be with an aqua.

Thanks! Yeah I totally understand where ur coming from but he always tells me that what he loves about me is that im an emotional and passionate person. Yet he wants to bail whenever I have bad emotions? He's supposed to accept me for all of me. Not just be around when things are good when I have super happy emotions and run when I get upset. And no, I wasnt expecting him to not go if I dont. I was just secretly hoping that he would show me that he wants to hang out with by not just giving up if I say no once. I dont know, maybe thats stupid but I just want him to tryyy to be with me more. I mean how long will it take until he finally misses me? Not seeing me for a month? Two? WHAT does it take to get an Aqua to SHOW their significant other that they care and miss them?

He knows how I am, and in my opinion he should try and make me happy. Just like I do with him. I give him alll the space he wants, just not when im angry cause thats when I just really really really need to talk about it otherwise it will eat at me until the problem is resolved. I cant concentrate on anything else! But he can just go out and do whatever he wants and not even think about it. It kills me that he doesnt give a shit. Cause if he was really hurt about something then I know that I would do anything I could to make him feel better. Im not even upset about him ditching me anymore! Now Im just upset that he's avoiding me so much and not caring. It always happens like this. I get mad at him, he ignores me, I get upset that he is ignoring me, and I completely forget about what I was originally mad about and the problem never gets fixed. It just gets ignored.

And yeah I know that Aquas like their friends but he told me that I was his gf and his best friend. But still...I always feel like the third wheel.

Yeah I know and I do, but relationships arent a one-way thing. I shouldnt be the only one who changes in order to make the other person happy. It should be a two way street. I cant be the one to do all the accommodating, its exhausting. Am I just never supposed to show my feelings? How can I possibly just pretend to be ok in order to not scare him off? Im just going to end up being cold towards him when it comes to the good things in our relationship. It's not like Im asking for much, I just want him to be willing to listen to me an talk about a problem when there is one.

"Granted, he did ask me if I wanted to go, but when I said no he just said ok and that was the ends of that."

Firstly, do you want him to hang out with you or not? Yes or No. When you said it, please mean it.

Secondly, he won't try to read your mind because this guy is kind of bored of you already. The way he left you after the police incident showed clearly that he didn't want to be involved in trouble and he thought you was part of the trouble, can you see? He obviously didn't think very highly of you and might still be with you for now because there was no reason to make a clean cut but he's waiting for your next wrong move.

Thirdly, what's up with all the arguments in your relationship? It doesn't sound very healthy to me "He says that he's stressed with school and cant deal with me complaining and yelling." May I ask how long you two have been together? Has he ever said this before to you? And how long have you done this? If you've done this and he's never said anything besides showing his lovey dovey face then I think your relationship is coming to a breaking point. Aquas do have trememndous patience because it isn't easy for them to have a relationship so when they do, most of them will usually fight till the bitter end to keep it together. I think you really need to calm down and try to think what can be done to save your relationship. Be honest and don't try to put the blames on one another. Also, I stress it that please say what you mean. That means "yes means yes" and "no means no". If you want to keep this relationship, you need to keep it real and lay it all out without "bitching" at one another. Please also don't expect him to come begging your forgiveness. This guy seems to look at the door already and he just needs one more reason from you. However, I don't know your relationship history so who knows, maybe just right one reason and you two will be in paradise again.

It's up to you now. How much you want this? Ask yourself.

I posted this after you guys but I actually saw the topic first so apologises if I repeat anything that has been said.

Bad emotions = drama, which aquas hate. Ok again dear look at this logically. In front of you there are 2 people one is friendly, happy, affection, endearing and always smiling and willing to go the extra mile for you. The other is brooding, seething, angry, pissed and ready to unleash the fury within. Which one do you want to be around? Seriously hun, don't lie to yourself. Person #1. Always and forever. I know that everyone has both sides and I'm not saying that you can't let your bad emotions go, BUT you can swallow him whole the man's not comfortable with his own emotions they are intellectual beings hun not emotional. When we are angry we go emotional when he's angry he goes intellictual. When your emotionally angry you don't make sense. It's true, we must realize this as merfolk, which honestly would equal wasting time and effort dealing with you at such a state. Hence him telling you to calm down and bouncing until you are stable enough to talk about the situation WITHOUT emotions ruling the day.

Ok...hun if he asks you a question he's expecting the truth out of you. He shouldn't have to prod it out of ya. You're not a cattle and shouldn't be treated as such. He's NOT going to beg for you dear! It's not in his genetic make up. I KNOW merfolk LOVE to test their partners and that is a test but he's NEVER going to win that one. Give that one up. They show they care by little things. Strong declarations of love aint going to happen. Please, please I beg of you DO research on aqua males. You're missing the boat!! I mean your days late dear. Again tough luv from me, I'm not trying to be cruel but the typical mermaid expectiations of love should not be applied to aquas. You would end up unfulfilled.

Hey I get talking things out. Nothing wrong with that but if your "talking" is emotionally charged that talk ain't gonna happen. Remove the emotions. I WILL happen. Trust me it does.

At a point aquas feel like they are neglecting people if they spend time with only one certain person. So yeah he's going to mingle even if you're around. He's gonna put you on the "back burner" to deal with humanity as a whole. That's who he is darling.

Now don't get me wrong a relationship is a 2 way street but effective communication is the key. He won't/can't listen to you if your emotionally charged. Take out your emotions and talk analytically he can be able to assert his intellict to such and you both can talk things out. Now if you remove the emotions and he still won't talk then yeah that's a major problem.

i totally can empathize on your stance. HOWEVER, i notice a series of games you play and test to get his attention and love. He probably picked up this pattern and finds it immature. And prefers to not take part of it. To be quite blunt with you, i think the whole yes=no no=yes or even maybe is childish. How do you expect one person to be real with you when your not? If you were my friend and i asked you if you want to come..and you said no. I WOULD ALSO respond in "OK"

WHY? would i need to beg for someone's company, the slight thought of any air sign to beg for attention and affection is not in them. WE are in charge of our OWN happiness nor do we expect others to hand it to us. WE TAKE CHARGE. Its petty to fight over something you self inflicted yourself into. I mean yes i can relate to your situation. HOWEVER, the aftermath is what i disagree with. the way you went about it.


You've basically feel that he doesnt "ACTUALLY" love and/or care of you. the rest are examples to back up your emotions. You should ask yourself then why are you with someone that doesnt love you the way you NEED?

Even when your trying to sort out the issue, your testing him. and he will simply answer the questions. your not getting real results, feelings, opinions from him.

exam:

Although i kind of see where ur coming from, I dont think he saw me as trouble when the cops came. I was the only sober one along with the other guy who stayed behind with me. AND I was taking care of my friend all night. I had two exams that night and decided to go out cause he and everyone asked. But when I get there everyone is already super hammered and I end up having to babysit everyone. So I dont think I was the trouble. Plus he did drive drunk that night, I know stupid.

Also, about him being bored with me...I do always worry about that because i know aquas tend to get bored easily, plus Im not as outgoing as him. But it's like 2 months ago he was just telling me that Im the love of his life and that he wants to marry me when we're done with school. I dont think that we have any other problems except when it comes to him running from the problem because it stresses him out. I really hope he doesnt break up with me because we're having a bad week or two. We've been fighting a lot the past week and a half over random things like the cops incident. And after being together for almost 3 years I hope that this doesnt make it the end for him. Because I mean he knew who I was before this because we were for friend about 8 years prior to dating and he told me that he loves that Im the emotional one and he's the logical one because then he wouldnt be attracted to someone who was just like him. He's normally super warm and sweet with me so its just a huge shock when he turns into this cold person and doesnt want to deal with bad emotions. But he just texted me "dont worry about our fight. i love u and want to be with u. I just have two tests on monday and so do you so we shouldnt be having such stupid fights. Schools more important right now but once Im done with it then i promise we can talk about wtvrs wrong.'

tbird:

Yeah I totally understand where ur coming from. I know that he's the type to just accept an answer from me but damn I just want to see the guy express that he'll be disappointed if we dont hang out. I mean he tells me he misses me and loves me alllll the time every day so it would be nice that when the opportunity came for us to actually hang out, that he acts like he wants it a lil more. But I understand that no means no and yes means yes. But hey, the guy is testing me all the time too so i dont see why its wrong when i do too ha. Also, yeah i know about the friends thing but i mean normally when we hang out with everyone he

spends about only 5% of his time with me and 95% with everyone else. It should be at least 50/50 but im already kind of used to that. Haha and i have looked up aquas and understand how they are. Id just like a lil explanation. With almost 75% of my chart being water, its realllllly hard to hold my emotions together when im upset and it would be nice if he could understand that.

candi3bb:

"To be quite blunt with you, i think the whole yes=no no=yes or even maybe is childish. How do you expect one person to be real with you when your not? If you were my friend and i asked you if you want to come..and you said no. I WOULD ALSO respond in "OK"'

I see ur point but at the same time Im not only his friend, im his gf to and in my opinion there should be different reactions and emotions there. Yeah, if my friend couldnt go out with me I wouldnt beg, because thats just weird. plus i mean i love my friends, but im not as emotionally attached to them. If i cant see them for one night then thats fine, ill see u another time. but if ur my bf, then i reallllly want to see u as often as i can. U know? And im with him because most of the time he does show me he loves me, i just wish it could be when im feeling that i need it the most. I hope that makes sense.