The Ex.

Soo...I need some advice, because I rather hear it from others then someone who knows me.

I was browsing through my aquas phone (which is rare for me, and not so much for him) and I find some texts from an ex girl saying she hoped she didn't hurt him and that she was sorry blah blah.
I was a little frustrated that a. she popped up, b. he hadnt said anything (but then again, he's not very open with me) and c. when I was told he was with her, he was happy (but she screwed him over so he let her go, blah blah).

I had sent him a text saying that (my dramatisation) if there was something I needed to know to let me know, along with another text or two and he calls and said "I'm calling you right away b/c I read the text and I want to let you know that there is nothing going on."

Later on that night we had gone out, and he had told me he had left her and when he did he had told her he wish he had never met her (which seems to me like he was hurt) and that he was surprised that she even texted. He had told me that he had tried to not be a dick and tell her he wasnt hurt over the break up, and that he was fine the same day.

He SAYS she hasnt bothered to text again, but the thing is she apparently is now down here now, and I'm guessing thats why she texted.

Now, they dated last year. I dont know if I'm maybe putting too much thought into this, which he claims I am, and that he would rather me drop it, but I must admit I'm a little insecure in our relationship due to the fact that we are so incapatible sometimes.

I rather not worry about it and believe him, but as said, even if he tells me I am a handful sometimes but he cares...=/

Someone tell me I'm being ridiculous please.

Hey, cheating (emotionally) is a big thing people have to worry about & have to be concerned about IF and ONCE they see the signs. Your heart is the biggest thing of value to you & if you see a red flag or sign that someone is about to hurt or betray that heart, then you have EVERY right to investigate or prevent that from happening.

Thing is, we are always on a tight rope (well, not always) but right now we are, and he got defensive the first time after I questioned him again.
I'm not sure. I guess ill have to voice my concern louder.

Im soo sorry AC, but im wit the starfish on that one. You peeked into his personal belongings without permision for selfish reasons already proves u don't trust OR respect him. What you found in his phone strengthened your insecurities and now u second guess everything he does. You are not ridiculous for how u feel, u should always be prepared for worse when u snoop around...

On top of that, u must realize exactly WHY u are in a relationship with this man. If compatibility is what u are looking 4 in a man, then u might want to consider talking with him seriously about trying 2 make it work. If not, then there's your answer.

One thing about Aquas is that it's very hard for them to move on from someone (emotionally) if the reaosn the relationship ended was beyond their control OR b/c they felt they had to. There's alot of times when I've let someone go for lying, cheating, etc. but that's just b/c I would've felt like I was betraying MYSELF by staying, knowing that if my friends were in the same situation, I'd tell them to leave too. But emotionally, I may not be gone yet even though or just b/c I ended the relationship;

One thing you must understand is that an Aqua will tell you everything they only feel you worthy of knowing. Trust me, every Aqua wants a partner whom they can tell everything to b/c we're all just big books waiting to be opened & read. BUT, for example, if we feel that you won't be able to handle some of the things that happen behind closed doors, we might keep it from you; but not b/c we want to betray your trust, but instead b/c we'd rather keep the peace and/or wait until we feel that the relationship is strong enough for those confessions to come out & the relationship still be as strong afterwards. So one, going through his phone & discovering texts or messages that he didn't want you to see was a no-no, 1. b/c the very fact that you invaded his privacy BEFORE even giving him the chance to open up to you shows you that you don't trust him as much as you may lead on & 2. Always remember that what starts in the dark will always come to the light. Everything you saw in those texts messages would've came to the light (maybe in other ways though) if you had've just been patient & let your intuition tell you what you needed to know versus your fingers.

He might still have a thing for her and/or she might still have a thing for him. Find out why the relationship ended. If he sits around all day & dogs her out or says bad things about her, he's not over her. He's simply in those stages where instead of looking in the mirror & realizing he lost something great possibly b/c of himself, he finds it easier to put her down

And two, if you're with the RIGHT guy, you've got to trust that it shouldn't matter who approaches him or wants him. If you really trust him then it shouldn't matter b/c you should have the confidence & the faith in him as your man that he'll hopefully be able to walk right past the attention and/or not let it get to his head to the point where he possibly jeapordizes what you 2 have. You have to let him make that decision b/c that will tell you his TRUE colors. Don't sit up all day & wonder if they'll meet up b/c honestly, everyone's biggest fear is finding out if their partner loves them the way they say they do & if I were you, I'd sit back, watch & wait to see what happens (w/o stopping or trying to interfere with anything) b/c you'll get the answer your looking for. And if anything, if he DOES betray you then he was just doing you a favor, right? By doing you a favor, I mean he was showing you his true colors so that you won't have to have that fear for another second longer.

I don't think that you're wrong or being too into it when it comes to matters of the heart, BUT how you handle it from here on out is what counts. Don't even sweat it. He already knows what he's got at home & hey, if he decides to jeapordize all of that for an old flame, then let him b/c atleast you'll know even sooner that you're in the wrong relationship. You're either going to believe him or you're not. If you're not going to take his word for it, then leave him. Don't sit there & make him suffer just b/c YOU can't be strong enough to leave. On the other hand, if you're going to believe him, then make sure your actions match up with your words. If believing him is the case then sit back, observe (but don't overdo it) & continue to have a good time until something comes to the light. BUT, wait until it comes to the light, b/c when you go searching for it, you end up losing sleep & that's never a good thing

I don't agree with you on going through his phone though. Some kind of suspicion or distrust was ALREADY THERE that made you go through his phone in the first place, before you even went through it. You should've let your intuition tell you the answer versus possibly losing him altogether by going through his phone. Aquas don't play that. He'll tell you what he wants you to know and/or what he thinks you're only ready to handle right now.

If he decides to go meet up with her then hey, that means he was emotionally unavailable the whole time, thus there is nothing that you can do to get him to respect, love or move on with you. He's got to make that decision for himself. After all, this should be his ultimate test. He made her an X for a reason & if he's not content in his decision to keep her that way then you need to reconsider if you're with the right person & tell him that if he's not content in his decision of matters from the past, then he needs to keep you the hell out of his bull until he figures it out. It's only fair. Should you have went through his phone? No. But should you be worried that he might end up doing you like alot of men do us? Of course. The key is that you still gotta be a lady & have that attitude that if he decides to step out on you, that's HIS loss. Remember that & then keep it moving. Don't over-analyze this situation anymore b/c honestly, whatever already happend or is going to happen between him & his ex is out of your control. And the worst thing you can do is lose sleep over OR stress yourself out over the things you can't control, b/c you'll be disappointed every time

The guy atually didn't do anything to be worried about so Someone tell me I'm being ridiculous please.
erm, yea... if going thru each other's fone is the norm for you 2 in your relationship, trust me, there is nothing for you to worry about but if you feel in your heart of heart you took the fone to look thru for another reason, then CHECK that!