Aries woman/Pisces man on and off relationship

where do I even begin. I met him through my best friend four years ago & we immediately hit it off. I almost felt like I was under a spell & that I had fallen HARD for him just by looking at him. Come to find out he & I had previously met a year back at my old job. He said it like this "haven't we met before?" while looking into my eyes as if I was the only one there.

Anyways, cut to the rest of the evening I ended up staying the night at his place & hanging out with him & my friends over the next couple of wks (I was hesitant to tell him how I felt after being played by a virgo multiple times). As my gut instinct kept gnawing at me I finally told him how I felt & he felt the same. I couldn't have been more happier! BUT - he told me he had slept with someone during this time & I felt like he cheated on me. No clue why I felt that way considering we weren't official but I felt like he was already mine.

So our relationship was in the honeymoon phase, you know affection & constant contact, etc - all while my own life was in turmoil & all of a sudden I needed a place to stay. He offered & I immediately moved in. Since we were now living together I had to change my perspective on things considering I had never lived with a man other than my brother - but this situation was totally different. My dad was acting like a menace & my mom was moving out of state to take care of my ailing grandparents. I had told him if things would cool off with my dad I would move out by fall. Well they didn't and we were now playing house together six months into the relationship. Every couple fights right? Well boy did we fight. I slept outside the apt one night only to have him wake me up and bring me back to bed. This was becoming like About Last Night with Rob & Demi. We loved hard & fought hard. Cut to getting pg, losing the baby, moving, then rescuing 2 more cats, another pg scare, then me finally getting a job and feeling OK about us.

THEN. May '14 happened & all of a sudden I had to move out. We were done. LITERALLY OUT OF THE BLUE. I then had to "stay at my dad's for awhile" & that it'll be "only temporary". I was devastated. I immediately started NC but damn it was hard. We kept texting back & forth over our breakup. I initiated NC in July after he told me he was seeing someone. My heart was just shattered. So as I was "moving on" he texted me asking to get back together & he didn't feel for her the way he did for me. My heart literally leaped out of my chest.

Then over the course of three months we seemed back together like our breakup never happened. We had grown, but there were still some underlying issues. Christmas came and I could feel him pulling away from me again. I had to literally drag him out to get together or even do anything for the holidays. He was always busy or couldn't make it over here. I always had an excuse to cover for hi I'm so it didnt look like he was just being an idiot. So as I brought up going shopping for gifts ( I knew we didnt have a lot of money so I suggested just cards or a small gift) he told me he would come over but somehow that couldn't happen and that I could just pay him back for loaning me money to take my cat to the vet. SIGH.

SO after Christmas our relationship was extremely strained. I tried my best to get him out and do things with me or our friends but he always said no or next time. Then Valentines day came around and he said he didn't want to do anything because he hasn't gotten me anything yet. I said okay that's fine we always have our birthdays (which are in March). March came and I had literally heard nothing from him about anything. I was giving him his space because mutual friends had been telling me what was up. So then he cut all ties with me on Facebook and even blocked my number.. It was over. He had made up his mind that we were having issues so he tried hooking up with a mutual friend but she pushed him away. He was getting nowhere with everyone.

started NC again all the way 'til June when I sent him a friendly message on Facebook. He accepted my friend request and we went to a fair together. The entire time he was distant and when he took me home I asked him what his problem was. He basically gave me a BUNCH of excuses a a none of them ever came to be true. So now it's August and its been a year to the day that we got back together.. This past July he asked me to take in one of our cats and I took that as a sign of him ewanting to talk again. He's taking his time on this one and I haven't heard when he will be bringing her over. IDK.... why does this has be to be so difficult? Sorry for the long post but as you can see its been extremely up and down for me. :/ Im so torn and I just want him back.

He hasn't contacted me in almost 2 weeks. I feel like texting him is going to drive him farther and farther away from me. As for NC today it will be 3 days of total NO contact, and its killing me. We are not friends on facebook and his last post was 8/15 and nothing else. Weird thing is he is still fb friends with all my friends and they havent heard ANYTHING from him at all. It's so bizarre and I feel like he is keeping me at a distance for some reason I have no idea why. Last time he contacted me was about our cat and that was it. I was totally up front about the fact that I wanted to go pick her up and that I would be here for him if he needed help with the house or moving anything. He has not reciprocated any of my attempts at help and I feel as if HE always has to be the one to ask not be told he needs help. This was my way of an attempt to apologize for not helping him move us into the place last time when I was at my moms. His response was "no I got it." and that was it. I dont want to beg, plead, or go insane for his affections again like I have before. All I want is to wipe the slate clean and start over. I realize our previous relationship is over and it wont magically restart from where it ended. It's dead. He cant keep blaming me for things I didnt do when he had his share of mishaps. we are both almost 30 and I dont want to just start all over again with someone else. as for dating? i've really tried dating and it has just totally nosedived because I cant develop feelings for someone else when I still am in love with my ex.

Thing is tho when he DOES text me he gives no indication to stop "blowing up his phone" when I ask for a definite answer. I am not the type to over text at all, so to blow up his phone with texts is not an issue. Our conversations back in July (about our cat & and him moving) seemed like nothing ever happened almost positive. The only time I ever did that was when I was pressed for an answer by someone in the same room as me (my dad) who was wondering when he wanted me to come over and get our cat. He is a REALLY bad texter and prefers calling over texting. I know this man like a book and what he is doing right now signals GIVE ME SPACE. I just have NO idea what really happened back in March and I feel like he doesnt either. He never truly told me to my face that we broke up and I think he has mixed emotions about being in relationships period. When we got together he told me that every girl he was ever with before me cheated on him and was completely disloyal to him in every aspect of the word. I never cheated on him and was always honest and kept an open line of communication with him. He even told me he saw a future with me and wanted to have children with me. Maybe he got scared that we were getting so close and he had never gotten to this point with anyone before and didnt know how to go forward?

Not as of two weeks ago. Thing is, I want him but I don't want to seem crazy or desperate. It's almost as if he knows but is biding his time or some shit. Pisceans love to feel wanted and adored and whatnot. I am EXTREMELY RESTLESS in this situation and I have done everything short of showing up there unannounced which is a huge no no. I wish I knew the perfect thing to say to him that wasn't so desperate sounding or without purpose. Everything I have said to him since last week had some sort of purpose. It wasn't to bait him or anything. Why is it when guys are going through heavy shit they never want their girls support because it makes them look weak?

I have said how I felt just short of renting a skywriter. Pisces men are STUBBORN. Right now he's in the middle of dealing with moving into his new fixer upper house and selling our old place back to the park. I offered my help and he told me he was fine. Like I said he only wants help when he asks for it not when it's given. He doesn't like being told he needs help. The last time we hung out together he seemed frustrated and conflicted about his emotions. He told me I was "smothering" him when all I was doing was asking him if he wanted to go to a concert with me. Our friend had asked us at the fair if we were going to that concert and I told her we would try. He ended up going by himself with a friend and I went with my firend. He even texted me to tell me he went after the concert had ended.