EXISTENCIAL QUESTION

Here's one for everybody.....becuase I've been wondering about my own life and where I want it to go...to be "fulfilled". So I ask the rest of you:

WHAT ARE YOU DOING WITH YOUR LIFE?

(We need a billboard like that somewhere)

Well my husband (within weeks) have mutually decided to divorce. I am twenty six years old and I will have to go and live with my parents for a while. I am going to have to put in my two weeks at a job that I like and have to try to find another. I will have to leave all of my friends that I am so lucky to have. I will probably gain about fifteen pounds because I am so fricken numbly sad right now I can barely cope. I will most likely lay in my bed with no shades drawn for a good week while reality kicks in. I probably won't have a sex life for a good six months, and no comfort of companionship. I will have very little money being that my 'attorney' husband is divorcing me and is not interested in helping me get through this transition. I am twenty six years old I have no children, just two shih tzu dogs to provide me the comfort I will need to curl up with when I go to bed early every nite out of sheer depression. Not only have I lost faith in ever actually believing that marriage can work, but I have lost faith in myself right now. I am more apathetic and complacent than I have ever been in my life. I am mentally numb. The worst part is while my marriage is unsalvagable now, I have truly lost my best friend in life. Someone who I have inadvertendly taken for granted. My fear is that I will wake up and realize all that I had with him, which it will be too late. But the truth is that I am my weakest point as a person. I have no courage right now. I am so numb. I know I will have to get through this to be strong again, but the emotional pain is ten times worse than any physical pain.

"my husband (within weeks) have mutually decided to divorce."

Your message didn't sound as if you were asking for any advice just venting a little!

I have a couple of questions for you if you don't mind.

1. You said the divorce was mutual.

Why are you so depressed if this is what you both want?

2. Do you know that you are entitled to a percentage of what ever he earns until you are remarried? (Alimony)

3. Do you have a lawyer yourself?

4. Did you ever sign a antenuptial or premarital agreement?

5. There is something called seperation maintenance. This is granted by the court in a legal seperation to one of the spouses for his/her support. A lawyer who practices family law can help you out with this.

6. Have you and your husband considered maritial counseling?

It sounds like maybe your not sure you really want to end your marriage. If you love the man, then why not try and work it out?

Now is not the time to lay in bed. You need to think about what your are going to do for your future. Since you mentioned you have to move back in with your parents, I would think you need to start talking to a lawyer and taking care of yourself. Your husband sounds like a dick, and you're gonna have to fight him. You are entitled to support. Marriage is a contract and when broken there are consequences.

Good Luck

PS I hope he didn't have grounds! Depending on where you live that really shouldn't matter!

Wow, what a question. So hard to answer but the most important of all. Must admit, had to think a bit before answering...

Ive realised that fulfilment for me lies in the unseen and untouchable. By that i mean its not the material things that make me happy. No matter what i have in my life (in the way of 'things') it doesnt make me feel any better if im not happy on the 'inside'.

To get to this point i had to take a long hard look at myself and ask myself what REALLY makes me happy. After dealing with and letting go of my childhood dream of having all the spoils of life (eg. the 'right' car, house etc...) i realised what makes me happy, at a very basic level, is helping people. I feel that my life is worthless unless there is some sort of harmony, happiness, joy (or whatever) around me. In other words, i couldnt drive a mercedes benz and be happy knowing there is heartache, starvation etc. in the world.

Once i identified that i had to work out how to live my 'truth'. Its all very well having all these ideals but what are you going to do about it? Its not easy giving up things you have. Ive taken it in small steps; giving money to charities etc...

Thats the point ive gotten to in my life till now. I know there's a long way to go but im willing to walk and live my path. The most important thing ive gotten out of all of this is the realisation that its not what you 'have' that makes you happy, its who you are and what you do. Ive also been able to reach beyond my own needs and desires to become part of the bigger picture. I believe this is the key to our happiness. I dont gain satisfaction by trying to be better than anyone else anymore, i merely try to be the best i can. I think its called, 'being happy with yourself'!

The really important thing for me is to 'let go' a little because i really believe the Universe brings things our way when we need them. I believe that if you respect life, it will respect you in return.

One of the most important things to me was to stop intellectualising, let go and to learn to trust. While i still have a long way to go, i feel i am on the right track.

Hope this answers your question. Sometimes you have to go through the hard stuff to see the rewards (—!) on the other side. You have to wear the knocks and the pain. Its like a tunnel, you cant go around it, you have to go through it to get to the other side.

Hope this helps a little. Take care of yourselves.

Regards,
210.50.

I like the material things in my life. I like to impress people with my style and taste and I like to entertain in my home.

I have worked very hard for what I have been able to buy, so I am not at all ashamed of being able to enjoy life and all it has to offer.

Sometimes I can't stand all of the wealth and excess of life, and I want to chuck it all and go live in a huvle without anything but the basics!!! It depends on what day of the month it is, I guess!

I do try and share and help those in need. I think I try and balance my life both worldly and spiritually. I don't think I could live happily with one aspect and not the other.

My life at the present time, consists of family, work, pets, friends and learning as much as I can about the spirtual world. Nothing profound just ordinary everyday kind of stuff.

I know I will never be rich but I will always have what I need and I couldn't ask for more. Except a huge hunk of a man that likes to have sex about 10 days! It's been a while, can you tell—

I too have always been able to count my blessings but still feel like something is missing. We are not supposed to need a partner to make us happy, and indeed, a bad partner can make us very unhappy. But I just KNOW that I will not be truely fulfilled until I get:
1)The True Love of a good man, one who makes me feel looked after and special and sexy and appreciated for who I am, who encourages me to follow my dreams. And who also lets me do the same for him.
2)A role in life where I have more purpose, that feels important. Or to have one that makes the best of my natural talents and abilities so I have the money and resources to give back to the world indirectly.

So what am I doing with my life? Well just hoping for the above really and getting on with it. Doing the best I think I can to get them and not worry too much when I don't. I realise that life is a journey and we have a path to follow that is sometimes hard and we don't always get instant rewards. Or is that fatalistic?

~Except a huge hunk of a man that likes to have sex about 10 days!~


That prior post was suppose to have read--a man that likes to have sex 10 times a day. Not 10 days or 10 days straight or 10 different men in 10 days etc...I guess I got a little excited as I was typing and slipped! LOL!

Geez, maybe I should take a cold shower or two or ten!!!

210, 50:

I think I get what you're saying and I appreciate your input--thank you. You mentioned something about coming to terms with based on "who you are and what you do"--that's the narrowed down essence of what I have been working on for years and years! I have been trying to figure out who the hell I really am and what the hell I should be doing with my life--occupation that is. I think that what we do for a living basically shapes WHO we are. Wouldn't you agree? The thing is...I know exactly what I wanna do--it's VERY hard to reach that goal because it takes A LOT of money to do it and prove to other people who can hire me. So in the meantime, I'm at a major crossroads with myself--trying to reach the best job that will lead me somehow to where I want to go. It's been VERY frustrating.

Sloane,

I wasn't trying to just flip you off on your question; it was a good question and I was giving you my honest answer.

I won't ask you what it is you want to do. If you want to say what it is, then go ahead.

I have to disagree with you as far as doing what you want to do and not being able to because of time and money.

I, of all people, at 37, had a good job for a fortune 500 company and was promoted faster than I was ready for. (My boss had alot of faith in me.) In the back of my mind I knew what it was I wanted to do, and you are right our lives are defined by what we do; but lack of money or time never stopped me from getting what I set out for.

I have always gone after what I wanted. Where there were obstacles, I went through them. If you want to do something bad enough, nothing is gonna stop you. If you need money for college, get on the net and research. There are student loans, scholarships, pell grants,FASA, work study etc...how bad do you want it is the question?! The government is there to help you, believe it or not. You don't have to pay off these low intrest loans until six months after you complete your degree. If you still haven't landed the job of your dreams, then you can defer it even longer.

Believe me, as an ex-junkie, I of all people should tell you that it can be done!!

Get out there and make it happen. You are the only one that can make it happen. Nobody is gonna do it for you. It is getting bad out here and I am not just talking about work, I am talking about society in general. People have to be able to work harder and longer(more competition). In order to do that, you will have to have the knowledge and skills! You know that already, so CHARGE-- as Teddy Roosevelt said!!

Well, I wonder if there's a grant out there worth literally thousands and thousands that will enable me to direct and make a movie.

That day is gonna come!

Alright then!!!

Sloane,

In response to your response and to 64's response to your response (!), I agree with 64 in that all you need to succeed is pure determination. When i was in my twenties i was inspired to follow a particular career path. It was against the odds and in a male dominated field. I am still there now and have way exceeded my goals. Its a pretty good feeling to know that.

When i embarked on that career/vocation, i had absolutely no doubt that i would succeed, it was as though i had this incredibly innate feeling of knowing that it would be okay. Doors slammed shut in my face constantly at the beginning but i just kept on walking through. I suppose i was the hare instead of the rabbit. Even now i still count my blessings and do the best job i can when i have to work. This is the secret to staying on top.

It hasnt by any means been easy and ive sometimes questioned what the f... i have done but its been an experience, that's all i can say.

So, what im trying to say is that nothing is impossible. Ive always said that once you know what you want to do then the rest is easy.

As you say, the day will come. Just have confidence in yourself. When you submit for funding, generally you have to have a finished script in script format and to have a synopsis.

Actually no, dont say the day will come, go out there and make it happen.

Thank you 210. I Do have the script in correct format and the synopsis (treatment). The next step is to find the people who believe in my passion.

Although the idea of making a film is a passionate one, the reality is that it is a product that has to be viable. If you havn't gone to film school or somehow got into the industry and learnt about it from the inside out nobody will take you seriously. And of course its not what you know its who you know so you have to get out there and network. Is it just a general dream to get your story told or do you want a serious career as a director or producer. They are just jobs and often the people that are very good at them are not particularly remarkable or noticable in public. They just learnt their trade and perform it to the best of their ability. They do not use their own money to get their films made, they get investors, and they usually have to start out making adverts and stuff to pay the bills.

Excuse me 203 but I don't think you know me. Yes, I HAVE gone to school to study film and video and YES I already know that "it's not what you know but WHO you know" (an old cliche) and the of course the networking that is essential. I already know these things! I am also very aware of marketing my skills and/or name. I am aware of the need for a good, solid public relations campaign to "get my name known". I know all these things.

Sloane,

You can do anything you set your mind to do. Go for it. What is the name of the company that sponsers first time film makers? Miramax!!! Have you looked them up?

I think you can do it! You sound grounded and not at all flaky. The business type. It's the actors that are the flakes. I would probably be very good that!!!

Take it Easy,
Susan

Sloane,

One more thing, you probably already know this, this company (Miramax) takes on people who have never ever been anywhere near a school, or the business, and walk them through it. All they do(writers) is have the story and the passion. There are two well-known actors who back potential screen writes-- Ben Affleck and Matt Damon do this all the time. They have gotten pictures done on the idea that the first time is usually a one million dollar budget. That is not alot of money to get it done, but if they feel it is worth it, they have connections. The last movie they sponsored was like over five times what they set out for.

Good Luck sounds fun, I am about half way through a book that has taken me about four years to write. I was really inspired and couldn't stop and then haven't done anymore for along time. I just picked it up and re-read it the other day and it still makes me smile and think to myself--this is pretty good; did I really do this?!

Susan,

Thank you!!! You have helped a light bulb go off in my head and I have you to thank! It's funny that you mentioned about Matt Damon and Ben Affleck--I have thought of contacting them and I really should. I will do this. Matt Damon and I have two things in common: we're from the same state and we have the same birthday. Thank you for your enlightning input and congratulations on your script. I know it's not easy--I've done it a few times and it's not as simple as some people think. Take care.
Sloane

You go girl! Can I have my autograph now before you get too famous??

PS Matt Damon and Ben Affleck are both Libras, I think?

Susan

Matt Damon is but Ben is a leo. Matt Damon is the better looking of the two of course!!!

Oh and Sloane, go for it. I know how hard it is to write a script, i had the idea myself a few years ago but was too lazy to write it. I still have the idea (and its a flipping good one if i dont say so myself) but am still too lazy and underdeveloped as a writer to write it. I do do other things though and produced my own documentary for my school project last year. Bloody time consuming but fun.
Im still trying to think of that great one-liner that will make my film a classic!!!

Day to you all,
210.50.

Hmmmmmm....how about a reality check? Very few scripts (regardless of how profound) ever make it past the vertical file! Get real with yourself, Sloane! You sound like a child-even though I have read your other posts and am guessing that you are somewhere in your late 30's! It is time to grow up and realize that we all have dreams-but some are meant to remain just that! You really need to get on with your life and stop listening to these "you go girl-cheerleaders".....not everything in life works out....and although we find that we are passionate about some things-it really doesn't mean that we should base our hopes or our happiness on them!

Sloane, I think I'm in danger of fitting into the 'you go girl cheer leader' category on this thread when I say this, but I think a person should experience his/ her full potential- no regrets. Whatever, you decide to do, try to bite down hard, and give it your all. Cheers for you ; )

Another go-girl cheerleader here. Listen to yourself and if you feel you got it, then by all means take it to the limit. If it makes you happy and you can take care of business ie-bills and expenses, then why not!

"Very few scripts (regardless of how profound) ever make it past the vertical file! Get real with yourself"

Crazybabe,

That may be true; you could be very right, but Sloane isn't out hurting others people or doing bad things. So what, she has a HUGE dream and the odds are against anyone in her postion, but she is entitled to try. What about the others who have succeeded that were in the exact place Sloane is now?

Susan

Thank you Susan and everyone else who has given me some momemtum and support.

Crazebabe--sounds like you got burnt down the road some time ago. I AM in touch with reality, very much so, and I will NOT give up my goal--that's what you're asking me to do--go back and read what you wrote--it's pretty negative. Also, I am NOT in my late 30's (tee heee!). God you remind me of my mother--very critical and likes to bring people down. Well it didn't work with me!

Sorry that you felt that my comments were negative in nature! I was just giving you a small dose of reality! And a little insight into where I come from on this....I have NOT been burned-so therefore have no reason to be bitter....and I may have the wisdom of your mother-but I am 26 years old (but thanks for recognizing that I am wise beyond my years)! It would have been easier to join the rah-rah-girls-club and tell you "go for it"...but why would I want to tell someone to waste their life trying to reach a goal so far removed from reality! Before I grew up I wanted to be Ms. America-that didn't happen-so I am in medical school instead! Funny how life happens...you should listen to your mother!

Oh my god, 26 and you're soooo wise!!! The thing is Crazybabe, some dreams are reality and some are not. Don't you think the chances of getting a script published are better than being 'Miss America'? I dunno, the odds could be stacked either way.

Let me ask you something. Do you like being in medical school or are you just doing it for the sake of it? I think we all, to a certain extent, accept our lot and forget about what we really want.

Anyway, i cant talk. I dont think i am doing what i really want, i dont have the courage and sometimes i dont know what i really want. Can anyone help me with that one?!!!

Day to you all,
210.50

Scorpio female here.

Sloane, you should take this idea and run with it. Screw anyone who tells you otherwise. You have education and intelligence (yes they can be two seperate things, but I think not, in your case). You already have an advantage over those with no education. Go to www.projectgreenlight.com. Read everything on the website. I am very excited for you and wish you all the best (but you won't need luck if you have passion, determination and patience)! I am currently writing a script (just started) and I will be trying out the Matt Damon/Ben Affleck deal as well. And I say, anyone who gets in my way--in ANY way--OFF WITH THEIR HEAD! Dale Carnegie said something to the effect of "most of the important things in this world were accomplished by people who kept on trying, even where there seemed to be no hope at all". Every soul on earth should and deserves to follow their passion and begone with the naysayers who are very likely bitter over not having done so themselves. Misery loves company--sniff 'em out and stay away from them sloane! I truly wish you well and have your back!

Heather (phoenix_rising)

210.50,

I had a shrink ask me a profound question in therapy one day. He asked me "what do you see yourself doing in the next 10 years." I was going to school for law and he wanted to see if I could visualize my future. I told him, honestly I don't know; I don't see anything right now. He told me "how the hell are you gonna get there if you don't even have a vision." Get the picture in your head going and start rolling that camera. We make our own movies happen everyday! If you can think and dream it you can make it happen.

Susan

I think I am in love! Any other Scorps out there in the same boat?

Good Luck

I don't know 210.50...I am extremely good looking....so I think that if I were to base my future choices on day-dreams....being Ms. America would have been more of a reality than most will come close to! I, however, decided to go a "not so shallow" way-and strive to leave my mark on the world (if, perhaps, in a somewhat small way!)! I love that I have chosen medicine...and I am doing EXACTLY what I want to do with my life! But had someone told me that the reality of the situation was beyond my abilities or control (like not being smart enough/not enough money/not physically able to perform the job/only 10 doctors would be hired in the next year)...I would have moved on to the next (realistic- profession) of my liking! The reality here is: in my chosen profession-I will help others prolong their lives-I will find satisfaction in knowing that what I do makes a difference-and I will make a TON of money doing it! Now come on....does that sound half bad to you? My advice to you...go to your local college campus-take their occupational placement tests...the results will tell you if you have the ability to become a doctor or a donut maker! Once you understand what it is you are capable of accomplishing....you can choose a career- based on your likes/dislikes-job prospects-salary and growth in that given field! See.....you have to measure your God given ABILITY -vs- the REALITY-of the situation! Hmmmmm, are you listening Sloane?

Look crazeybabe AKA "DR" to be (right). There is this thing called aptitude. There is also a specific correlation between determination and drive. If there is a substantial desire a (fire in the belly) to do so you can accomplish anything if you BELIEVE IN YOURSELF. Those "tests" you can take in a college counseling center does not ensure that you will be happy with your outcome or that it is right for you. It is merely a way to creatively look at career paths. Nor is it any type of gage as to demonstrate how much work is involved in getting from a to b. I don't believe in aptitude limitations. If you want it bad enough you will succeed. My aunt of 49 yrs of age just completed med school. You are never to late to succeed.

Okay.. I mentioned biting the bullet hard already, in respect to whether you're winning or losing. You seem to be very talented, and you have an amazing ability to summon up great driving power from deep within you. **Churn out great things!✨ You mentioned that you already studied in your field, so just follow up on your leads and do something about your career. How long can you mull over something that means so much to you? What is your progress to date on any of your ideas, and is your method helping you? Assess your goal and your method. If it's helping you... good for you.. if it's not, re-structure it, and try it again. We already know that you are capable of doing big things... so... now prove it! What are you made of? Keep us posted.
You will pro- gress.


...One who bites the bullet.

"I don't know 210.50...I am extremely good looking....so I think that if I were to base my future choices on day-dreams....being Ms. America would have been more of a reality than most will come close to!"

Crazybabe,

Good looks go way beyond skin deep!!!
The only contest you would have won is the 'Ms. Locale Motel' flat on your back!!! and that is only a maybe!

Sloane,

Don't listen to the detractors, they'll always be around, unfortunately! Listen to your head and heart in equal measures. Some people are happy settling for mediocrity, and they are always gonna want company, and that is ok too! It takes all the cogs in the wheel to make it turn! But then there are others who have more than just the extra courage and foresight to do things that the majority only get to read about or watch on TV. If you are one of these special creatures, just step right around THEM, and say excuse me! 🙂

Why Sloane, of course I don't know you so until you revealed you do actually know the business it would have been safe to assume you were one of those pie-in-the-sky dreamers who fantasize about being this or that but don't follow the practical steps to get there. My real point was, and I think it is the same with the accused 'detractors' - is that you do have to follow your dreams, after all someone has to write the film scripts. But you have to take the right steps to get there. If you are already on the right track don't lose faith but don't pin your entire happiness on it being a success.

Oh my God! Everyone is so right--except for crazebabe--Crazebabe--you still don't get it and it's true--I forgot who said it, sorry! That those aptitude tests don't always decipher your true talents. Heather, Susan, 210 and the rest--you guys are the bomb! Thank you for your generous feedback--every one of you made such wonderful sense--it was a delight to read your posts. The Andrew Carnigie quote struck me. I will tread on and I know my main goal will come to fruition--it's just a matter of perseverance and patience.
You guys rule the universe! Take care...
Sloane

Sloane,

In defense of 'crazybabe' I think she was just genuinely trying to steer you in the right direction, so you wouln't get your heart too broken. I can understand her advice; and for myself, I thought it was a rather sweet gesture. But that is me, the 'Libra' extrodnaire, always looking at both side of every arguement. I can't help it, that is the way I was made!

Susan

Susan, it came off quite negatively to me, so I felt like responding. I also wanted to mention from my previous post that, in reference to Heather and other people working on a screenplay also, if I ever do another script-I won't write it alone. I'm getting a writing partner--heck, maybe two people and make it a team of three. It seems to me that in the past, MANY movies were written by a team of two to three people--even four I might say--and they tend to be men. Hollywood still hasn't open the doors of opportunity much wider for female writers, directors, etc. It's hard enough--no, it's a b**** to sell a script, no matter how good the story is and no matter how marketable it would be if you walk into that Development office by yourself if your a female--I've seen it. Even when your agent's with you. It just seems to me that if you have a team of writers, you're taken more seriously. I could be wrong but this is what I think based on past observations. One thing is for sure, having a writing team will make the process evolve a lot faster and can be more fun.

Absolutely, sloane. I am currently working on this script with the help of my boyfriend (yeah, maybe that wasn't such a good idea now that our relationship is very much on the rocks, but that's a story for another day)...we disagree quite often (he's a Leo) however we are a very ambitious team and when we can compromise, it works out quite well. And I'm sorry, but crazebabe's posts really rub me the wrong way. I get the feeling that she is a "career snob" who thinks she is better than everyone else. Hey listen, it's commendable that she works in the medical field, that's fantastic, but don't rain on everyone else's parade or expect to have your hiney kissed by people whose chosen path doesn't involve as much money or fanfare as you. You are JUST a human being like the rest of us; you have no right to be egotistical. And props to you for being "ggod looking"--so are many of us, I'm sure. But what does that have to do with anything? I'm not trying to be super harsh here, but people need to be told when they are being abrasive and snobbish.

Sloane, take care of yourself, good luck to you and maybe people like you and I and all else who are writers will have the opportunity to make a crack in that glass ceiling that seems to be looming over our preferred careers!

Love,
Heather

spelling correction: "good looking". ; )

Heather

Yeah, i can see where Crazybabe was coming from too. I like having people question and criticize me because it makes me question the strength of my convictions and what i am really doing with my life. It can hurt however, and the criticiser must be careful how he/she approaches the subject.

I am concerned with the "i am extremely good looking" comment however. One must be careful never to believe ones own publicity!!! Must admit, i cracked a funny at that one!!!

I agree with the poster who said that everybody has different APTITUDES (spelling?!). I had this discussion with my mum just recently. It was private schools (expensive) vs. the state schooling system (public, relatively free education).

I said that private schooling does not necessarily guarantee 'success' and state schooling doesnt necessarily guarantee 'failure'. Some of the most decent, nicest and most successful people i know went to public state schools; I take my hat off to them all. Private schools give their kids superiority complexes... in my experience.

So, getting back to career choices, yes, aptitude and education are two different things. I suppose the ideal would be to COMBINE aptitude and education. One reinforces the other and makes you an extra strong (for want of a better word) candidate for your chosen field.

A friend of once said, "educated stupidity", when referring to a mutual friend of ours (with a great education)used to bore us literally to tears with all her ideas. We loved her dearly but her ideas were so obscure it was like, 'get with the program' would you! Kind of off the point but funny at the time.

Heather, i have read a few of your posts and think you will be good at script writing. You are articulate, descritive and quite quirky (I mean this as a compliment, i like a 'bent' mind!!!). Just remember, some of the best films have a memorable ONE-LINER so include one of these in your script.

Well, thats about all from me. I cant believe i logged on today and there were 2 extra pages of replies to this thread. Well done!

Can anybody tell me how to join or register? I think i finally have a name i feel comfortable with.

I cant believe i said i have a name i "feel comfortable with"!!! How embarrasing! Ive just been too lazy to think of one.

[smiles]

210, I know for me it says "Update your profile" at the top of the page--there has to be a way to sign up or log on from the main page. I signed up many months ago so I forgot how I did it--sorry. I'm sure it's simple. You just state your user name and your gender.

WOW....funny how a little revelation regarding my looks could send so many into such a tailspin....(oh...and FYI-Heather-I was responding to a question from an earlier post when I stated that)....I do not, however, find anything wrong with being self-aware....but I am sorry that it makes all of you feel so uncomfortable! As far as the "flat on your back" comment.....where did that come from? Let's see....someone has an opinion that differs from your own and you call them a slut?
Sloane-I was truly trying to give you some constructive advice.....I am saddened that you did not receive it that way! And lastly, in my own defense, I would like to state that I am not a "career snob" that "thinks that I am better than everyone"....I am simply a person that speaks the truth....even if the truth is unpopular here!

There is nothing wrong with stating the truth. You were stating the obvious. And condescendingly, to boot. It's often more the manner in which one says something, more than the actual words, which can be offensive and abrasive to the recipient.

Heather

Well said, Heather!

I have no problem with others who consider themselves 'beautiful' or 'extremely good looking'. There are many beautiful people in this world.

Attitude does come across though...and big attitudes (as in BETTER than anyone ever could be) bug me...
I am a nurse who works with many resident doctors...the ones with the big attitudes get shot down very quickly. One of the 'beautiful' 'should have been a model' residents almost killed one of the patients on my unit by not listening to the nurses...finally someone higher on the totem pole intervened.
She passed medical school...but, I think she would have made a better model. Certain professions require a certain passion...if a person goes into a profession for the wrong reasons...such as money...they usually do not excell. I love being a nurse. I know I could be a doctor...it is just a matter of more education and I am smart enough, etc....but, I love what I do! However, my friend and I have started writing a children's book, along with our daughters...it is just a fun side project...but, we do have a passion for it...so, who knows...

I believe that everyone should stretch themselves to be the best they can be!

As far as outward looks...what is the big deal...I get my fair share of attention, and I would much rather be appreciated for my brain! In fact men are surprised when they ask what my best feature is (in my opinion) and I say, "my brain"...it will get a lot further than T&A and a pretty face!!

Sloane,
I believe in you!

Heather,
You go, girl!

Susan,
Good to run into you again!

Star