Libra man/Cappy woman (different, LOL)

Hi,

My Libra ex-BF is on the Virgo cusp and has a LOT of Virgo in his chart. We just broke up Tuesday. We really cared for each other a lot; he told me he wanted to marry me.

Problem was, his ex-GF (former live-in for over a year) never left the picture, and he "didn't want to hurt her feelings." I put up w/ this as long as I could then blew my top! Having never dated a Libra before and not knowing anything about them, I gave him an ultimatum: TELL HER about me and that it's serious or we're through. Of course he took the "path of least resistance...."

Now I'm miserable without him. FWIW I have had our Western charts done, and they show high compatibility. However, Chinese is not favorable (he a Rooster and I a Tiger).

Any comments? Will an indecisive Libra male ever recover from being issued an ultimatum or have I completely blown this for good?

Thanks.

Hi Wondering...and wondering you are indeed! Welcome aboard to the Duncan circus where "wondering" is what we do best!

It is always hard when two people "break-up" or change the dynamics of the relationship...darn! Change is hard and difficult to understand at times.

I first want to say that I admire that you were able to express your TRUE feelings to him regarding the ex girlfriend. Who wants to be second? You have every right to be first in that special someones life - no excuses! What you did was stand up for yourself and your best interest. IF, he desires to be first in YOUR life - he will recover and will be back. If he doesn't, do not look at it as you "blowing it for good" but rather finding the gift in the situation so that you can move on to a healthier relationship. I do not know enough about your situation but maybe he is not over her yet...is that a possibility?

I wish you the best and hope all turns out well for you.

Thank you so much, Freebird. This has been a horrible, gut-wrenching, upsetting week and your post made me feel better!!

I should probably clarify: All along my Libran insisted that this ex-GF was just a "friend" and that he "didn't want to hurt her feelings" by telling her that they were over. So she continued to call him, evidently trying to rekindle something with him. She would upset him by rehashing the history of their relationship and arguing. He allowed her to engage him in this emotional/dramatic crap -- sometimes they would argue for an hour!! Then I was treated to his sulking and sour mood afterward.

They never had closure -- he still had stuff of hers and was driving her car, and she was driving his car. When she called to talk about arrangements (paying a service) to swap the cars out, he told her "No, no, you don't have to spend the $ 1500... there's no hurry on that...just wait til I can drive down there." So he was going to take a week off from work to drive all the way down there and back!! That allowed him to SEE her, and by postponing it he was keeping the connection open, keeping the door open a crack.

After reading up on Libras and knowing what I know now, I think I goofed up... I think he REALLY was being indecisive and REALLY didn't want to hurt her feelings (or anyone's). He calls it being "compassionate," but my definition of compassion is different: He did that girl no favors by leading her on.

After I blew him and issued the ultimatum, after he told me he didn't want to continue he told me not to e-mail or call him, so he wants no contact at all with me. That really hurts the most... we were best friends, and I honestly thought that we could continue to be friends no matter what happened with us romantically. 😢 Oh well....

I'm grateful for the opportunity to vent on this forum; it's rather cathartic.

Wondering (Cappy with Scorpio rising)

As always wonderful advice Freebird! You always are able to help point out that the person did a good thing in taking care of and standing up for themselves. I really like that alot about what you have to say. It's when we make someone else's feelings and needs priority and push aside our own that we lose our purspective and happiness in life. Your positive approach has helped alot of us, me included. Thanks for being you! TW2

As always wonderful advice Freebird! You always are able to help point out that the person did a good thing in taking care of and standing up for themselves. I really like that alot about what you have to say. It's when we make someone else's feelings and needs priority and push aside our own that we lose our purspective and happiness in life. Your positive approach has helped alot of us, me included. Thanks for being you! TW2

opps! Did it again, let that darn repeater bug out of it's cage!

Aw...Thank you TW-2 for your very kind words...I'm glad that in someway I am able to help my friends. You touched my heart and put a huge 😉 on my face.

I also feel that you as well offer much needed and welcome advise - all good and respected I must say. Thank YOU for you!!!

Hi y'all,

Someone told me that Libras don't forgive easily... Is this true?

Wondering:

I also replied to you on the Cappy messageboard.

It depends on the sitution. With your situation, I dont think that did anything wrong. You simply stood up for yourself.. Could you have been more sympathetic? Sure.. but you did not do anything wrong. He needs to be a man and either shut that door of his life or reopen it and make you aware of it.. How is that he can be so indecisive with his ex-gf but yet be so decisive with you—

~LSR