sexually confused cap?

i am frustrated over this cap guy about his sexuality. he is 21 and im 22 (im an aries) we are both males. when i read the past ads i see that this dude acts just like a typical cap. i have casually known him (never actually met face to face) for 6 years....he would randomly send me facebook messages every 3 months or so just to see what i was doing in that time in my life. he traveled and study abroad and i too. we both were very active college students who travel a lot. we planned to meet twice, but both outings fell threw. He would randomly invite me to travel with him to other countries/events but that always feel thru. So after 6 years of him randomly sending me facebook messages throughout the years, one day he finally insists on meeting me so I invited him over and he didnt return to his home for 3 days! Those were some of the most intense days of my life! I have never met someone like him. he is perfect; understands me and everything. he told me how important i am to him and it seems like he MUST live with me (although he sleeps in a different room). he told me how he never felt this way about a person, even his best friend. he has been living with me for 3 weeks now. the only problem is that we dont have sex. thats it...sex. everything else is perfect. i asked him about why he wouldnt have sex with me and he says that he was "never sexually attracted to men."

he also has questioned me about what i felt i was going to do about children (he has this strong urge to have children). Interestingly, he told me how he believes marriage and children keep the couple together; that is, he believes that a couple stays together in part because of the institution of marriage and their responsibility to take care of their children. my problem is that i feel we are soul mates but he is confused about his sexuality. he told me that he IS sexually attracted to women, but he has only had a few "flings" and they all happend over seas. he told me he never had real sex and is waiting to share that connection. this dude protects me and wants me to be 100% happy. he goes out his way to make my life happy and pays very close attention to details about pleasing me. everything except sex. i tell him that if he was really into me he would want to make love to me. i tell him to leave because i cant take not having sex with him and he never wants to leave, always asking me "are you not happy with me here?" he told me "i am emotionally dependent on you" we discussed sex again yesterday and he flat out told me that i could never have him 100% sexually (i assume his strong attraction for women). but he makes no moves to touch me to do anything with me romantically. one day he also told me that he basically felt that if he had sex with me he felt i would leave him afterwards. but this does NOT account for him not being sexually attracted to me. he told me that he was never sexually attracted to males, period. my questions are do you think i should continue to live with him as if we are basically in a relationship that doesnt involve sex? should i stay with him even though he doesnt see me in a sexual light? i asked if he mind if i had sex in the house with other guys he said, "if thats going to make you happy i dont mind". im so confused by the situation any thoughts would help thanks!

ok, i'm not lesbian but what i find disturbing here is quite simply, why is it that men, gay or straight, frame their relations in terms of sex? your connection, during those 3 days, was based on sex. you move in a stranger, based on great sex. your relationship is faltering, because of sex.

gay/straight, why the heck do men think/feel with their penis— gay/straight, it's like yall are evolved apes. you see a hole and you wanna stick something in it 😛

alright, now that i have that out of my system....

i don't know why dude won't have sex with you. you're young. maybe he's not 100% comfortable with his sexuality yet? i had a friend who damn near committed suicide before being able to openly admit he's gay. i have a gf that lived with a woman, hung around nothing but lesbians, dated a dude for years and almost married him, before she found a woman that she fell in love with to the point where she felt comfortable enough to come out to her fam and friends. and in spite all of this, at times she questions if she's really a lesbian b/c she's still attracted to men on some level.

maybe you should focus on developing the friendship. solidify it and making THAT part of your relationship real. regardless of your FB friendship, face-to-face relations are much more complex. in a way, you're getting to know one another all over again. i've known people from the net since 1995 and there's nothing that can prepare me for living with them day-to-day. posts on FB can't prepare you for personal quirks. him leaving his wet towel on the bathroom floor isn't important when he's miles away.

love him, support him, be a friend to him. if it's just a matter of him taking time to come out, he can do that quicker with dedication and support on your part than with pressure and demands.

on a side note, why did he need to move in after 3 weeks? that's a lil fast for me.

sorry, why did he need to move in so quickly? you made it seem like you guys had passionate sex and the next thing you know, he's moving in.