There's something horrible in my chart...

-138 Opposition Venus - Neptune
This aspect indicates a suggestible romantic nature. Being "in love with love" is a strong possibility. You are naturally compassionate and are generally willing to go over the top for a loved one. It's hard to say whether your expectations in personal relationships are too high or too low. On the one hand, you tend to easily accept behaviors in your partners that others wouldn't accept, as you are compassionate and even drawn to people who others might consider trouble. On the other hand, your romantic dreams may be so powerful that you are easily disappointed with the reality of relationships. Deception in love is possible, but self-deception is even more likely. In love, you see what you want to see, rather than what is. Feelings of being used or deceived may come up. However, if a distinct pattern exists in your love life that involves you being let down, deceived or used, it will be especially worthwhile to examine whether self-deception was at work.
The possibility of clinging to romantic delusions is very high with this position. For example, some with these aspects cling to a romantic notion that someone loves them when in reality that person doesn't return the affection. Or, they may cling to a romance that has lost all hope. Another possibility is devoting their love to someone who is unattainable or who is unable to commit. Yet another Venus-Neptune scenario is loving someone who treats them badly, all the while clinging to an idealized image of the partner. No matter what the scenario, romantic yearning and longing, as well as delusion, tends to be the theme. The expectation here is that loving someone requires self-sacrifice. The result is an attraction to relationships that are co-dependent and even abusive. Venus-Neptune people are drawn to victim/savior relationships, and they can play either the role of victim or savior! Dependency or neediness in a partner can be confused for love. In an attempt to love unconditionally, you may too readily sacrifice your own needs and eventually feel used.

Unfortunately I've found all of this to be true. Does anyone else have this aspect and if so how do you deal with it? The thing is, I'm a magnet for shitty men. But these shitty men, by outward appearances seem to be great guys and it's usually not until later that I find out they have substance abuse problems, legal problems, are liars/cheaters etc. I'm getting better and faster at figuring them out but none of these guys are walking up to me and introducing themselves with all of their issues or saying, I don't really like you. Quite the opposite, they all act like they love me for at least awhile. All of my friends and family think I'm too picky because they only see what these men appear to be outwardly. And I admit, there have been a couple that I've clung to for too long because I too hold on to the idea of what they initially appeared to be.
How do I deal with this? I want to break this cycle of attracting horrible men.

I guess I need to learn how to bounce back more quickly. I feel pretty naive a lot despite how much I've been lied to, I feel like I have to give everyone a fair opportunity. So I believe what people say to be true when I KNOW from past experience that's not often the case. Because I trust and believe I tend to hold on to feelings of hurt by being deceived.

Thanks for your comments 🙂

I'm not very skilled with reading charts. Is this what you mean?


69 Trine Venus - Pluto
Her emotional and sex life is powerful and rich. She lives out truly passionate love affairs.

So I did a lot of digging, watching videos and reading articles about this. I also discovered that my Neptune is in the 12th house (so at home with Pisces) and my Sag rising is also in the 12th. I'm not sure what this means because I don't identify with Sag at all.
Anyway, for the most part it all sounded like bad news as far as ever having a romantic relationship. It sounded to me like I'm suppose to have this gift (which I've always felt like I was good and seeing the underlying hurt in people) and I'm suppose to sacrifice something or everything in this life as part of some karmic debt? I'm suppose to channel all of this unconditional love into art (I do love art) and focus on a spiritual relationship with God or higher power. That's all well and fine but it's disheartening to think that I may never have a good physical relationship with an actual person. I'm pouring all of this love into others but never receive unconditional love back? Or that I'm suppose to feel content & draw love from giving love?

Anyway, I started thinking about the kind of people that I attract to me. Not just romantic interest but also friends and family who lean on me heavily for their emotional discontent. A few days ago I posted to social media how I was feeling sad about that prospect of never finding love & how I'm not as strong as I may appear. 2 people, my mom and best friend private messaged me. Not to attempt to encourage me but to tell me about their problems!! Which I admit made me a little resentful! lol I was just very vulnerable with my feelings, which is hard and it was as if that was invisible to everyone.

Anyway..... maybe this is my gift. Or this is what I'm suppose to sacrifice. That I have this abundance of love to give in this life and that's why I attract completely messed up people. Because they are the ones who need love the most. Maybe they feel this vibe coming from me. If that's the case than I need to work on the unconditional part of love, meaning I have no expectations for reciprocity and that I also need to work on boundaries, being able to give love to those who really need it without giving all of myself. I just wanted to share in case anyone with this aspect stumbles along & feels as completely messed up as I do.

The interesting thing is I've never been very fond of Pisces people. Never had any interest in the men at all and the women, I've had very short lived superficial friendships with them which is unusual for me. I'm usually a friend for life kinda person. Anyway, it made me think of the saying that goes something like - What you dislike in others you dislike in yourself - I've always found Pisces to be too emotional for me, as I try to operate from a place of logic. I feel emotions but don't allow them to hang around for long. So maybe the "too emotional" thing that I've found uncomfortable was too uncomfortable for me because I'm actually deeply emotional but keep it hidden in the 12th house.