WTF is my problem?

So I had a string of choosing unavailable men.. I like to say they chose me.. I attract emotionally unavailable men! So now I went on a date yesterday and it was great.. This guy is funny intelligent educated everything I like.. I just feel like I dont want to hang out with him.. He keeps texting me now and thats pushing me away more.. WTF is wrong with me?? I want what I cant have? Is this a libra thing or freakin what? Maybe I'm the emotionally unavailable one?

Just needed to rant a little.

No your learning what you want, hopefully you figure it out so you can hold onto to it when you do find it.

Posted by trolltrain

Posted by Fire-Water
No your learning what you want, hopefully you figure it out so you can hold onto to it when you do find it.

It's a possibility, or she might feel that she isn't "good enough".

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hmmmmmm interesting

Im trying to figure out why im attracted to these unavailable men and push away potentially good ones... There has to be a reason I cant see yet.

So are you attracted to emotionally unavailable women?

Why so hard on yourself Libra? (that's an Aries trait - get off our turf!!)


But seriously you say this guy is "funny intelligent educated" but is he sexy, I mean really schmexy sexy not just a pretty boy, is there chemistry?

You are allowed to have funny intelligent educated guy friends. Maybe he just isn't The Guy. Like Fire-Water said you are young - you are still figuring it all out.

BTW I am trialling a new type of electric fencing to ward off emotional unavailables from coming within a 10 yard radius of me. Are you interested in helping with the clinical trials?
The voltage causes no lasting damage but renders the recipient speechless, with no feeling below the naval and completely unable to chat anyone up.

Posted by libnicole84
Im trying to figure out why im attracted to these unavailable men and push away potentially good ones... There has to be a reason I cant see yet.

I;ve found myself on this merry-go-round. I've worked out I'm probably emotionally unavailable and until I work on that i will keep being attracted/attracting the same type of man 😢 Now figuring out how to work on it is the difficult part - perhaps just don't be with anyone for a long time?

Posted by celticlioness

Posted by libnicole84
Im trying to figure out why im attracted to these unavailable men and push away potentially good ones... There has to be a reason I cant see yet.

I;ve found myself on this merry-go-round. I've worked out I'm probably emotionally unavailable and until I work on that i will keep being attracted/attracting the same type of man 😢 Now figuring out how to work on it is the difficult part - perhaps just don't be with anyone for a long time?

click to expand

Doesn't that just make you hornier?

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson
Why so hard on yourself Libra? (that's an Aries trait - get off our turf!!)


But seriously you say this guy is "funny intelligent educated" but is he sexy, I mean really schmexy sexy not just a pretty boy, is there chemistry?

You are allowed to have funny intelligent educated guy friends. Maybe he just isn't The Guy. Like Fire-Water said you are young - you are still figuring it all out.

BTW I am trialling a new type of electric fencing to ward off emotional unavailables from coming within a 10 yard radius of me. Are you interested in helping with the clinical trials?
The voltage causes no lasting damage but renders the recipient speechless, with no feeling below the naval and completely unable to chat anyone up.

I'm not really attracted to him in that kind of way... But maybe I should go for something I dont normally go for.. Break old habits?

Can I please be apart of that trial?? Haha Actually I'm learning alot of red flag indicators so I know ahead of time..

Posted by celticlioness

Posted by libnicole84
Im trying to figure out why im attracted to these unavailable men and push away potentially good ones... There has to be a reason I cant see yet.

I;ve found myself on this merry-go-round. I've worked out I'm probably emotionally unavailable and until I work on that i will keep being attracted/attracting the same type of man 😢 Now figuring out how to work on it is the difficult part - perhaps just don't be with anyone for a long time?

click to expand

I found a website that I have been reading that actually is helping me. I guess its more of a blog? www.baggagerelcaim.com maybe take a look at that.. Gave me some insight :-)

Posted by oldskoolflavor
conscious vs unconscious mind

your conscious mind wants to attract sthg, but your subconscious one does something to prevent it
maybe you strongly anticipate rejection before anything really happens .. maybe some experiences led you to shut down emotionally & they pick up on that .. maybe true intimacy scares you, you aren't ready for it

I was skimmmin through this a few days ago :
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/11849357datingPostpage2.aspx<BR>
check out the 2nd post .. you might find some insight in it

The funny thing is I think about all these things... Maybe I'm scared of rejection maybe I want unavailable men so i dont have to open up maybe this maybe that... I just need to figure out which one it is! I am scared of rejection.. I was in an emotionally draining/abusive relationship for four years.. I didn't love him and he knew it so he didnt trust me and made me feel like shit all the time.. Even after I left over a year ago he still belittles me almost on a daily basis.. Then my rebound I fell hard for he was emotionally unavailable.. I got so freakin hurt over that I think that made me really scared of rejection.... Sometimes I do think about the intimacy thing too.. The one think I yearn for is the thing I'm most scared of for some reason. There was no intimacy in my 4 year relationship that is why I left maybe I dont even know how to be emotionally intimate anymore.... I'm a mess you dont wanna clean up haha


I'm about to go look at that link you sent.. Thanks for the reply

Posted by libnicole84
So I had a string of choosing unavailable men.. I like to say they chose me.. I attract emotionally unavailable men! So now I went on a date yesterday and it was great.. This guy is funny intelligent educated everything I like.. I just feel like I dont want to hang out with him.. He keeps texting me now and thats pushing me away more.. WTF is wrong with me?? I want what I cant have? Is this a libra thing or freakin what? Maybe I'm the emotionally unavailable one?

Just needed to rant a little.

Story of my life chica

Posted by libnicole84

Posted by celticlioness

Posted by libnicole84
Im trying to figure out why im attracted to these unavailable men and push away potentially good ones... There has to be a reason I cant see yet.

I;ve found myself on this merry-go-round. I've worked out I'm probably emotionally unavailable and until I work on that i will keep being attracted/attracting the same type of man 😢 Now figuring out how to work on it is the difficult part - perhaps just don't be with anyone for a long time?

I found a website that I have been reading that actually is helping me. I guess its more of a blog? www.baggagerelcaim.com maybe take a look at that.. Gave me some insight :-)

click to expand

I love this website found it last year when I was going through it

Posted by oldskoolflavor
conscious vs unconscious mind

your conscious mind wants to attract sthg, but your subconscious one does something to prevent it
maybe you strongly anticipate rejection before anything really happens .. maybe some experiences led you to shut down emotionally & they pick up on that .. maybe true intimacy scares you, you aren't ready for it

I was skimmmin through this a few days ago :
http://forums.plentyoffish.com/11849357datingPostpage2.aspx<BR>
check out the 2nd post .. you might find some insight in it

This makes the most sense.

Posted by Sutekh
VENUS SCORPIO- Rather have a secret affair with someone's spouse than a regular old partnership. Unless someone REALLY gets your juices flowing you couldnt care less if they dropped dead. This guy didn't really get your juices flowwing so you figure why bother with anything else with him

Scorpio is a Mars sign. The fact he calls you a lot is a turnoff it means he is too available . Mars needs a chase or a seduction in Scorpio's case (as opposed to Aries) There has to be turmoil and drama otherwise you get bored.

smh... am I doomed for unhealthy relationships for the rest of my life?? That just described me so accurately I'm almost ashamed. I always thought I needed "passion" in a relationship maybe I need drama.. The most "passionate" relationships I have had were full of pain. I'm a masochist...

Posted by ReallyNiceAriesPerson

Posted by celticlioness

Posted by libnicole84
Im trying to figure out why im attracted to these unavailable men and push away potentially good ones... There has to be a reason I cant see yet.

I;ve found myself on this merry-go-round. I've worked out I'm probably emotionally unavailable and until I work on that i will keep being attracted/attracting the same type of man 😢 Now figuring out how to work on it is the difficult part - perhaps just don't be with anyone for a long time?

Doesn't that just make you hornier?

click to expand

Going without - God Yeah
Going with - well as they say the more you get the more you want

I'm never satisfied, I can't win 🙂 Must be that Venus in Leo

Posted by libnicole84

Posted by celticlioness

Posted by libnicole84
Im trying to figure out why im attracted to these unavailable men and push away potentially good ones... There has to be a reason I cant see yet.

I;ve found myself on this merry-go-round. I've worked out I'm probably emotionally unavailable and until I work on that i will keep being attracted/attracting the same type of man 😢 Now figuring out how to work on it is the difficult part - perhaps just don't be with anyone for a long time?

I found a website that I have been reading that actually is helping me. I guess its more of a blog? www.baggagerelcaim.com maybe take a look at that.. Gave me some insight :-)

click to expand

Been reading it for the last few months - that's how I worked out I was emotionally unavailable and why - but what steps to take to change it - can't seem to work that out, maybe just wait it out and have fun while waiting🙂

Posted by Sutekh
I have venus scorpio also so I narrowed everything down and took it apart with a scalpel lol. Of course you're not doomed to unhealthy relationships. You're a masochist im a bit of the opposite.

What are your thoughts on mental illnesses? Do you believe in conditions like add or bipolar or do you believe thats astrologically connected as well?

Posted by aquaj

Posted by Sutekh

Posted by libnicole84

Posted by Sutekh
I have venus scorpio also so I narrowed everything down and took it apart with a scalpel lol. Of course you're not doomed to unhealthy relationships. You're a masochist im a bit of the opposite.

What are your thoughts on mental illnesses? Do you believe in conditions like add or bipolar or do you believe thats astrologically connected as well?

Absolutely . A lot of air, packed third house would indicate ADHD, Neptune ADD

Bipolar= opposites, like sun opposite moon, venus opposite mars, mars opposite sun.

It's funny you should mention this, it's actually been proven in a study that certain Mars-Sun aspects correlate to schizophrenia.

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Youre one of my fav's on here aqua because of your info on studies and statistics :-) Very interesting

😄

Damn vag

Damn vag

Posted by Pecheresse

Posted by Nights22

Posted by libnicole84
So I had a string of choosing unavailable men.. I like to say they chose me.. I attract emotionally unavailable men! So now I went on a date yesterday and it was great.. This guy is funny intelligent educated everything I like.. I just feel like I dont want to hang out with him.. He keeps texting me now and thats pushing me away more.. WTF is wrong with me?? I want what I cant have? Is this a libra thing or freakin what? Maybe I'm the emotionally unavailable one?

Just needed to rant a little.

Lots of questions but all the same answer.
Cuz you have a vagina! hehe.

Freud said we have a vagina because we lost our penis.
Any comment on that? lol.

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"you wanna be tough, grow a Vagina, that thing can take a pounding!" The weak are left with the Penis 🙂

Posted by Nights22
Yeah but the vaginas need to become emotionally strong first and that takes awhile!

Lol, its the heart that's attached to the silly organ that needs to become strong 🙂

Posted by Pecheresse
I think you are deep down afraid of being rejected so u unconsciously pick the ones who aren't technically able to commit which is quite convenient.

I think once you realize that you shouldn't reject urself in the first place, you will then be able to not reject anyone who tries to come close. It's really freaking hard and take forever to de-condition yourself. However what have you got to lose? Nothing.

It all comes down to loving ourselves & our imperfections in the first place & it's nowhere near easy, whatever the sign! haha.

Cheers Libra! It's a fun ride in the end, I'm pretty sure. 😉

I've been working on all that. How do you decondition yourself? Any tips?

So I had a string of choosing unavailable men.. I like to say they chose me.. I attract emotionally unavailable men! So now I went on a date yesterday and it was great.. This guy is funny intelligent educated everything I like.. I just feel like I dont want to hang out with him.. He keeps texting me now and thats pushing me away more.. WTF is wrong with me?? I want what I cant have? Is this a libra thing or freakin what? Maybe I'm the emotionally unavailable one?

Just needed to rant a little.



Thats how I used to be but I learned to be more wise. It's classic for people to do that people are more alluring if u think you can't have them I guess. It's normal human behavior for some reason.

Posted by aquaj

Posted by libnicole84
So I had a string of choosing unavailable men.. I like to say they chose me.. I attract emotionally unavailable men! So now I went on a date yesterday and it was great.. This guy is funny intelligent educated everything I like.. I just feel like I dont want to hang out with him.. He keeps texting me now and thats pushing me away more.. WTF is wrong with me?? I want what I cant have? Is this a libra thing or freakin what? Maybe I'm the emotionally unavailable one?

Just needed to rant a little.

I just think you're going through a phase of commitmentphobia. Because you crave companionship but on a soul level, truly don't want the commitment and all that that entails, you shy away from the "nice" guys and chase after the unavailable guys because you know they won't tie you down at this point in your life. They'll make you work for it and keep things interesting, and perhaps you also take for granted that because the nice guys are nice, when you're ready to settle down, that they'll always be there.

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I'm going through the same as libnicole. Thanks AquaJ. Nice to see it pointed out in black and white.

Posted by truecap

Posted by aquaj

Posted by libnicole84
So I had a string of choosing unavailable men.. I like to say they chose me.. I attract emotionally unavailable men! So now I went on a date yesterday and it was great.. This guy is funny intelligent educated everything I like.. I just feel like I dont want to hang out with him.. He keeps texting me now and thats pushing me away more.. WTF is wrong with me?? I want what I cant have? Is this a libra thing or freakin what? Maybe I'm the emotionally unavailable one?

Just needed to rant a little.

I just think you're going through a phase of commitmentphobia. Because you crave companionship but on a soul level, truly don't want the commitment and all that that entails, you shy away from the "nice" guys and chase after the unavailable guys because you know they won't tie you down at this point in your life. They'll make you work for it and keep things interesting, and perhaps you also take for granted that because the nice guys are nice, when you're ready to settle down, that they'll always be there.

I'm going through the same as libnicole. Thanks AquaJ. Nice to see it pointed out in black and white.

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Same here. Aquaj is so on the money w/ this one!