Cancer Males & Money

My Cancer love interest doesn't want to be in a relationship with me right now because he's in a difficult financial situation, and he hates me to pay for anything.
When he's getting distant,I know that it's because he can't afford to take me out... and when he gets money, he comes back !
It's driving me nuts because I like paying for stuff, but he won't let me :p It's a big change for me, as my ex boyfriend (Cap) split ALL the expenses (even toothpaste)...

Man that is the damn truth....
Well for me... I would feel weird if a chick was paying for everything for me...
But there are guys who appear to not care BUT in my personal opinion, any guy that does that is more than likely just using you no matter how you look at it.

This does sound like a tough situation to be in. Generally, I'd say hang around but just take it slow and find alternatives to dates that would make it more apparent to him that he is broke. However, if he is broke due to an addiction to gambling, then he is broke by his doing. It's unfair to you if he uses that as his reason for being distant. I'm sure your need for someone more 'present' is what prompted you to end things (which is a VERY valid reason) so hopefully he comes to understand that it was his own doing that caused that reaction in you and that it was not just you wanting to leave (So, he doesnt have room to throw that in your face)

Also, IMO he should really hang up the whole being hurt about not knowing your family yet. That is big and everyone gets to that in their own time. For instance, I don't have much of a connection to my family at all and consider my friends to be family. I am also very private about who I date, so I keep it to myself until I feel like it's getting serious. So it may take months for them to meet the friends and even longer (if ever, lol) to meet my family.

I get the sense that you two communicate VERY differently too. If you two continue, it's important that you both know what you actually are to each other, and not just go on what it 'feels' like. I think this could be where the whole hurt-behind-not-meeting-your-family thing stems from, as well as the confusion when he shot off a 'you dumped me' bomb.

If you can accept him along with his addiction, and sensitive outlook on life.. And if he can accept that you just want to enjoy him without complicating things beyond enjoyment, then maybe you two can hang out and move slowly while he works on his issues and you both tweak your communication. But... Thats an awful lot of work for one guy. You'll have to ask yourself, "Is he worth it?" Because any relationship is two people coming together to meet a set of needs, if he doesnt meet them all, then you need to evaluate whether or not you can go on with him and not have these needs met. If the answer to any of that is 'No'..... Drop him. It hurts, I know. It sucks, because you'll always remember what it used to be... But the fact just may be, that it isn't what it used to be anymore. And it's better to hurt for a short while, than to hurt for a longer while, along with feeling unfulfilled, and irritated on top of it.

I hope this works out the best way possible. 🙂

-PV

The thing about addictions is that they are progressive diseases. Generally speaking they get worse before they get better. If he were your husband I would tell you stick in there "for better or for worse". If he is merely a boyfriend move on. As an Aries woman , I doubt you would be single for long.

In addition, Aries and Cancers really don't do well together unless there is something else in the chart. You are going to constantly hurt his feelings or offend him. You won't even realize you are doing it. It's second nature to you.