Completely confused by this cancer male

Firstly, here is a link to my previous post about him:

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/cancer/are-cancers-generally-fast-movers-1941196/

Anyway, I'm not sure if this cancer male is just not into me, which means I should move on, or if he's just being incredibly difficult at this point. I mentioned that after not hearing from the cancer for a week after thinking he was upset with me, I finally texted him just to be really casual with him and see how he was. He actually replied back, and we spoke a little; we even joked with each other. Later that night, at 3 in the morning, the cancer texts me and says, " 😢 I want you to be here and just cuddle with me right now." I told him that I wished I could, then asked him what was wrong. He replied back with, "Life in general". I told him something uplifting, and I didn't hear from him after. Way later the next day, while I was at work, I texted him asking if he was okay, out of general concern. Lately, I've seen him post many status updates wit how he was feeling lonely; or, he would post lyrics, and when someone asked about the, he'd just casually say he wished he could say those lyrics to/about someone. Anyway, after asking if he was okay, the cancer never texted me. I just shrugged it off, but I haven't heard from him since.

What really bothers me is that I'm completely willing to still get to know him and try to work something out; plus, I really care for him and he has this grasp on me that won't seem to loosen up. Also, he's so intent on finding someone and complains about it openly, yet it's like he no longer bothers to give me a chance. It's not like i'm really upset because I have other things to worry about, but it just annoys me since it's like he can't see what's right in front of him. I'm willing to let him go, I guess, but I'm just confused as to why he'd even bother texting me that night then stop speaking to me again. I don't know what little game he's trying to pull.

Oh. I'm a virgo btw.

He's not that into you right now/maybe never...He seems to be pining away over someone else right now, I would suggest you stop initiating text messages which equates to (chasing him) you seeking him out is flattering but it doesn't make a man feel what he needs to feel to bridge the gap from friends to lover, he just ends up liking you liking him and not much more than that, seems he's pining away for someone specifically and it's not you and if it was you he would be there text messaging you, calling you, finding out if your okay and not the other way around.

Your sending off this desperate I need you vibe that can turn men off, some men will use that vibe to get his needs met but do nothing to reciprocate, your a beautiful woman but your actions are unattractive, kind of naggy like your his mom, let his mom worry about how he feels, the only thing you should worry about is you, as for cuddling it seems he wanted to cuddle with someone NOW right then and why not tell you since your available but that doesn't mean he's into you enough to pursue anything else, I know your probably thinking your not chasing him but when a woman is completely focused on a man, initiating contact first, checking his FB page, calling him, pursuing him well that's chasing and men naturally run from that, men do the same actions when they chase women.

I would suggest you stop initiating contact first, let him come to you, it may even take a year but that is the only way your ever really going to know if he's interested in you as a lover/girlfriend.

Thank you for the input, tiki. It's alright though. I became aware of my behavior soon after, and stopped immediately. It's very unlike me to be like that; I've also chosen to focus more on my personal affairs and figured either he wants me or he doesn't, and either way, I don't care much now. I feel like this cancer needs to time to himself anyway (slightly ironic) becuase he still seems very upset lately, and there is really nothing I can do about that. The last thing I told him is that I enjoyed speaking with him and felt we got along well, then I left it there. He responded positively. So now I feel I'm better off.

Ive just read your other posts, and I think that hes interested, but felt a bit rejected that you didnt sleep with him that time, I know it sounds stupid, and you completely did the right thing by saying you wanted to wait, but he probably took that as a bit of a rejection anyway...

Cancers tend to go around things instead of directly to them,and it sounds like he may just need a bit of an initiation. Perhaps you could just text him and say something like, 'so when are we catching up again, I am free on (such and such), would be nice to see you'. Theres no harm in trying is there? if you were prepared to walk away anyway, what have you got to loose, and at least you will know where you stand...?

....also, be confident, and generate the feeling that you dont care either way, because he will pick up on that, ,, cancers love confidence, and I think it will also make you feel better. Also try to stop asking if hes okay, and stuff on those lines, ,... just concentrate on you being okay, beautiful, and loads of guys would love to date you, you can pick and choose 🙂

Lol honestly, I have a horrible sense of whether guys like me or not. With everyone else, I'm painfully aware, but with myself, if one isnt somewhat straightforward, I'm pretty oblivious or I confuse things easily. About checking up on the cancer, it's just something I sort of do with everyone. If I notice that someone who I generally care about isn't happy, something kicks in and I want to help. While I do like the cancer greatly, I was just generally concerned; and I wasn't really checking his facebook; I just kept seeing the statuses on my newsfeed, plus when he texted me randomly and I asked him what was wrong, he told me that life in general was just bringing him down. So, I just wanted him to know that if he really wanted to just vent, I was willing to be the one to listen.

Funny enough, the cancer just texted me out of the blue like 20 min ago saying, "I heart you." I kind of just stared at my phone for a moment because I'm still dizzy from my sinus medicine, and I put the first thing that popped into my head, which was "Awww

Candeh, I read your post previously when you first posted, but I am just now thinking of a similiar situation that I was in. I am a Virgo also and I had previously dated a really sweet Cancer man a few years ago. We kept in contact over the years even after I moved 4500 miles away. Well a year ago I went home to visit my family and we ended up hanging out for New Year's Eve. I had a boyfriend, but I hung out with him because I thought in my mind we were just friends and it would be no more than that. To make a long story short, at the end of the night we were both drunk as hell and he drove back from the party we were at and I was scared that he would have an accident so I told him he could spend the night in my hotel room because I had an extra bed. He dropped me off in front of the hotel and he went to park his car. While he parked the car I had taken my clothes off and only had my undergarments and my night clothes in hand, while I was hanging my head over the toilet. I was so sick and had been throwing up. smh Anyways I left the room door cracked so he could just come in. When he came in, I cracked the bathroom door to see and make sure it was him. He saw me and forced his way into the bathroom. He was trying to touch me all over and was kissing on my neck. So I told him no I couldnt be with him, because I had a boyfriend at the time. PLUS when we went out I paid my own way and he was flirting with other women (which I didnt care), so I didnt understand why he would even think I would give him anything!!! I viewed the night as us being platonic. Plus I had been throwing up. Gross! Anyways he finally went to sleep in the other bed. And I went to mine. He left in the morning without even saying goodbye. I was surprised because I thought we were bigger than that. But things after that changed between us. He wasnt the same person. We talked a few times after that, and we never talked about what happened, but now we dont talk at all. I love Cancer men, but they run back into their shells too much. This guy had a chances with me before I had a boyfriend, and he didnt take them. I definitely percieved it as a lack of interest and moved on.

Candeh I told you if you stop chasing him...he would come

Lean back, don't THINK too much, let him send you his energy but please don't pick up with chasing him again, JUST RESPOND but don't push and don't ask him a ton of questions about HIM, let this be about you so he can remain interested in YOU....He's flirting, let him flirt

The cancer conveniently texted right as I felt it was time to move on. I agree that I shouldn't really start chasing him again; it's strange because I rarely chase guys. So this is all very foreign to me, as are cancers as a romantic interest (most cancers I know are close friends). Even if I wanted to give him a little push, I wouldn't know what to do. I don't want to chase him or put myself out there, but I don't want him to think I'm not interested either. My only thought right now is to remain patient and see if he decides to speak to me again.

Thanks for the advice. It's funny because I always told the cancer that patience was a virtue when he seemed very impatient, so it's a little ironic. The cancer called me today inviting me over, but I told him I couldn't since I have a class later in the afternoon. I told him that I was sad I couldn't come but that I was free later. I texted him asking if he was free Friday, but he's not. So I'm only hoping he'll want to get together at a later date. From all I learned, it's better to not push and take my own advice towards being patient. However, is it better to allow him to initiate time together?

Stop being afraid if you don't say or do this or match his invitations that he will suddenly lose interest! Being afraid gives you this desperation vibe, your not desperate, your too pretty to be desperate over a man...JUST RELAX, let him lead as he's been doing and things will work out okay...As long as your RESPONDING he will know you are interested, it's not like your ignoring him or waiting 5 days to answer 1 text message, your showing him your available but you can't just do stuff last minute, which means you have a life and him being a man understands that and actually that makes you more attractive because you having a life means your not going to be breathing down his damn neck all the time....Just relax Candeh, breathe, respond and be happy, that's all you need to do right now....

Let him initiate time together, that's part of the courting stage, once you become a couple then you can be a bit more assertive, him initiating is the only way your going to know if he's truly into you and interested, many women especially these new millenium women have this idea that she should chase, pursue, drag her body across a man's feet to get him to initiate, that's so not the case, a man if he's interested be it shy, scared, whatever he will take the reigns if we let them...You chased him and you saw were that got you so chill out, go live your life and observe what he's doing, him asking you out, initiating conversation and dates is A HUGE NEON SIGN that says he's interested, anything extra you do makes you seem desperate IMO. When your too busy to go out for some reason that kicks a man hunters instinct into gear, they just want to chase, all men have that hunters instinct, some men are lazy and won't hunt but most men if they are real men will initiate, hunt and pursue.

Let him do his part of the relationship/courting...He really wants to do it, so let him and stop trying to HELP him, he know what to do to have you, if you get out of the way he will do his part.

Thank you tiki for your advance. You're really right, and I'm sure I've been a pain with my behavior lol.

I realized today that one of the main reasons why I've been like this with the cancer, besides liking him, is because I was associating his behavior with that of this cap man I was seeing before him (which I posted about), and I sort of just freaked out. I feel a lot better just taking the step back and allowing him to do his thing, no matter how it turns out.