Feeling bad..

A friend of mine gave my cell phone number to some guy without my knowledge. All of a sudden I see in the display a number I didn't recognize and didn't think anything of it. Then the person sends me a text saying he's a friend of my friend asking if I wanted to date him because he was told I was single. I immediately called my friend to find out if this is a joke and it wasn't. I've never been asked via text to date someone so I found it quite bizarre. Later on that day, I sent a text to him saying I'd like to meet him at the store where I work. Remember, I've never even met him before so I have no idea how he looks or anything. He and I text back and forth that night. I ask him when his birthday is and it turns out he's a Cancer. Okay, fine with me. I'm an Aqua. He seemed very serious also. He always ended his texts with hugs and kisses which I found a little weird considering we hadn't even met yet. So the next day, he comes up and meets me. I could tell he was extremely nervous. To be honest, I was disappointed when I met him. He's not even my type and I couldn't understand why friend would ever think he and I would ever get together. Anyway, I was polite with him and asked how he was doing. He nervously said he was fine. I smiled at him and thought OMG what is going on. He asked what I was doing later on and I replied I was going home. I didn't want to lead him on. Within an hour I see on my cell phone he's called me twice. Then he calls another 4 times while I'm at work and there are 3 texts by him also. I was a bit taken aback by this. He wanted to meet me to get to know me better. He wanted to come and visit me at work again. It was unbelievable the attention he was giving within a matter of 3 hours. He's the type you can take advantage of and I didn't want to do that to him. The next day I sent him a text saying I was busy with school and work and didn't have time for a boyfriend. This of course was not the truth as I would always make time for my boyfriend no matter how busy I was. Like the good guy he is he responds back it was great knowing me and said it was a shame. He ended his text with hugs and kisses. I felt like crap and so bad. Here's a guy that's interested in me and I felt absolutely nothing. He didn't give up though. A few days later, he again called me when I was at work. I never called him back. Now I haven't heard from him and I'm glad about that. However, it felt really bad to reject someone because I remember how it felt.

Oh brother...you didn't know him, you didn't give permission to give out your number, this guy could be a psychopath and your friend could have been dumping him on you, who really knows but your not obligated to meet him again or like him, you took a risk and decided to meet which I wouldn't have done but you did and there was nothing there, he seems desperate anyway...

Tiki33,

I totally agree with you. He did seem very desperate and I didn't like that at all. I had him meet me where I work so I wouldn't be stuck with him. I don't know if he was a psychopath but he did scare me a bit regarding all the phone calls and texts. My friend has done this to me a couple of times already. I know in her heart she means well, but, this time she really did a boo-boo. I really did feel bad rejecting him because it hurts like hell. Thanks for replying to me.

break the cycle, stop responding to men that your friend fixes you up with or at the very least have your friend come with the person as to not put you in such an akward position, I would suggest telling your friend if he/she wants to set you up that's okay but he/she no longer has permission to give out your personal phone number to strangers, she/he needs to accompany this person and introduce you to him personally because the way she is doing it feels very impersonal and makes you uncomfortable on guard.. it sets a negative tone off the jump.

This guy probably is a really nice guy but if you really think about it, off the top your suspicious, your guarded when you meet him, you don't know what to expect, the tone of how you meet is way off, I'm sure if how you met was different you may not have had to reject him in the manner you did, I'm thinking it's the tone and nature of how this man decided to get close to you that may partially responsible for turning you off towards him...he knew it was chance he would be rejected but he took a chance which doesn't make him crazy or desperate...he's probably just a nice guy hoping to connect with a cool girl....your friend means well but she's not helping you in the manner she's choosing to help you find someone special, tell your friend to personally introduce you to potentials in the near future, I bet if your friend changes how men are introduced to you it will set a better tone for you both and you may just connect with a really nice guy.

My friend is a girl. She wants me to find a boyfriend so I mingle more than just work and studying. She's convinced if I went out on the town a guy would snatch me up. I don't go to town so I don't meet many guys who are single. I don't drink and I'm not loose sexually either. She's the complete opposite as she partys regularly and is sexually active. I know she means well. She has given my number out a couple of times before without my knowledge because she's convinced she's found the one for me. Now the past 2 times she did okay. The first guy texted me and I didn't know who he was. She told me then she had found me a boyfriend. I still see him occasionally at the store where I work but neither he or I acknowledge each other. The second guy seemed nice. However, I found out he was only separated and had a psycho ex-wife. I didn't want to get involve with that. Then all of a sudden I get the message from the Cancer guy asking me to date him. I find the whole thing very bizarre. I was for a very long time hung up on a Virgo guy. I was emotionally exhausted and felt so bad. I've never gotten closure regarding the Virgo guy either. I've moved on but it took me such a long time. At times I wonder about the Virgo guy.

It's true that maybe if the settings were different regarding the Cancer guy, I wouldn't have rejected him. I'll never know. I just felt so guilty rejecting him. Then he calls me a few days later even after I rejected him, made me feel even worse.

He seemed very serious also. He always ended his texts with hugs and kisses which I found a little weird considering we hadn't even met yet.

Hmmmmmm ..... yeah, well depends, if I talked to the guy before meeting him, then hugs and kisses would have been fine but since you didn't know him that well then hell yes I'd be freaked out too.

To be honest, I was disappointed when I met him. He's not even my type and I couldn't understand why friend would ever think he and I would ever get together.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!! I know the feeling lol

He asked what I was doing later on and I replied I was going home. I didn't want to lead him on. Within an hour I see on my cell phone he's called me twice. Then he calls another 4 times while I'm at work and there are 3 texts by him also. I was a bit taken aback by this. He wanted to meet me to get to know me better. He wanted to come and visit me at work again. It was unbelievable the attention he was giving within a matter of 3 hours. He's the type you can take advantage of and I didn't want to do that to him. The next day I sent him a text saying I was busy with school and work and didn't have time for a boyfriend. This of course was not the truth as I would always make time for my boyfriend no matter how busy I was.

Okay ... I can understand why you were creeped out by that. Little side story, last summer, this guy that me "friend" (at the time anyway) tried to set up something or whatever. The moment he got my number he called me like five frieken times, I kid you not. He didn't give me time to call him :O I call him and left message, he calls me again while I was in the shower, so I decide to text him back. We texted for like an hour lol and then I fell asleep. I wake up to a very nasty text message impling that I was ignoring him or whatever and then he he implied that I have a boyfriend and didn't want to tell me and that was playing with his head and all this other nonsense ... lol, I fell asleep, thats all I did.

He was really mean to me when I refused to go out with him so I texted him back basically telling him to leave me alone ... then he got really ugly with me LOL. Afterwards, he tried to say he was sorry but I didn't accept it because I know I DIDN'T deserve to have to argue the point of why I didn't want to go out with him!

UGH!!!! Men! lol Plus he was like 52 years old, lol, yeah I older guys are fine with me but this guy seem to want a "doll" and not a girlfriend. I'm glad I got away from him because I found out how much of a nut job he really was :/

Anyway, my point was, you did the right thing with the cancer guy, he was way too persistant way too soon and thats not good.

Oh and I don't know the guys sign ... I wish I did lol

My friend is a girl. She wants me to find a boyfriend so I mingle more than just work and studying. She's convinced if I went out on the town a guy would snatch me up. I don't go to town so I don't meet many guys who are single. I don't drink and I'm not loose sexually either.

Are we just alike or what 😉 However, its a bit different, my friends think I should focus more on finishing up my undergrad and focus on guys later. They say mixing it will cost me in the long run ... I'm like whatever 😛 Maybe they are right ... maybe they are wrong too 😉 My problem is that I like affection 😄 Yes I do I do I do but I'm not loose sexually either, hahaha I'm loose with everything else but I will not open my legs to some dude.

Well ... I may make an acception for him ...




I mean with that many arms would be way too interesting to turn down hehehehe 😉

Then he calls me a few days later even after I rejected him, made me feel even worse.

Maybe he needs a friend ... yeah, maybe thats what he needs. You don't have to be involved with him, you two can be friends I think 🙂 Just know involvement until you see where his emotional stance is located. He seems to have a few emotional problems and you can help him better as a friend and not a girlfriend, you know what I mean?

What a freaker....don't feel bad!!

CS,

You are too funny. It's hysterical the way you explain things. A 52 year old man? No way, I wouldn't have been in contact with him either. You weren't looking for a father figure, geesh.

You wrote:
"Yes I do I do I do but I'm not loose sexually either, hahaha I'm loose with everything else but I will not open my legs to some dude".
This cracked me up. I can't imagine you being loose with everything else. I'm sure you are careful.

I don't know if the Cancer guy is even looking for a friend. I haven't and will not be taking contact with him. I just felt bad for rejecting him seeing that he liked what he saw. I just wish I could find a guy who I'm attracted to. There have been 2 Leos who seemed interesting (remember the Leo doctor) and then there was some customer who had seen me who took contact with me. I seem to attract guys who love to text. What's wrong picking up a phone and calling a girl these days? I just don't get it.

sophie68,

I totally agree that I shouldn't feel bad. I just know the feeling when being rejected. I had it done to me by a Virgo and it hurt me very deeply. I don't like to reject people, but this time I had to. I got scared of him being too possessive.