Newbie seeks understanding

Hi everybody!
I was wondering if you guys would be so kind as to help me?
About 5months ago, I started seeing a cancer male. From the moment he saw me, he let me know of his intentions. He told me who he was, what he did and that he lived with his two kids and goddaughter aged 2. The guy is 37 and I'm 25. He told me that he would like to marry me and have children with me. He told me he loved to cook and to me, hearing him say all that and seeing a touch of his vulnerability was all I needed to think 'wow'. I am an Aries with cancer rising and relate more to my rising. I have only recently discovered this because I spent years trying to work out why I wasn't exactly like an Aries. I also have two children from a divorce 3 years ago.

That day, he even ordered for me and fed me a bit. He seemed very concerned with my pleasure. I accepted his proposal and we both agreed that we would get to know each other before anything serious.

Anyway, from then, he proceeded to chase me. Whenever he woke up, he would send me a message saying'call me wife'. This guy was absolutely taken with me. The thing is that he is incredibly busy during the day and when home, has his kids to look after, especially the younger child whom is a little traumatised over losing he parents in a car crash at age 1. She hardly sleeps therefore keeping him awake. He works in the city but his Identity is one that must be kept secret. you can see how extremely busy he is.

We have spoken and he has told me of his history, albeit reluctantly. His grandfather was a mafia boss in Italy and his parents died when he was aged 3. He is a very sensitive person although he tries to hide it. He has shed a tear when talking about his favourite soppy movie.

The problem?

He hardly responds to my messages... I'll give you an example, I'll text him in the morning and not always but there'll be the odd days where he'll respond in the evening/ middle of the night. Any suggestions to meet up so far have been me. He has only suggested three times. The second time being yesterday when he sent me a message asking me if he could see me' before Saturday'. Sent him a reply today, so far, nothing.

When we do see each other, he is really affectionate in public. He doesn't care who knows that he's with me. He kisses me, holds my hands, etc.
He has been to my house, I have never been to his. He keeps suggesting we get married and move in. I drag my heels because i feel insecure. Coming from

Whoa, whoa, WHOA. Personal business on his end aside, are you not a bit leery of the rushing headlong into marriage? And what I am trying to fathom is why out of all this swirling around you, you are focused on his not replying to your texts?

Coming from a relationship where I used to feel safe and secure with constant calls and messages to keep me going, I feel unprotected and find it hard to show my feelings. Instead when we do meet, I spend the first part of it, analysing him, looking cold and watching his body language and words used. He has told me several times that he thinks I'm contradictive. One meeting I'm affectionate the next I'm cold and indifferent. But that is because I don't know where I am with him.

He has stood me up three times. The first time, he was actually at home watching tv. I can relate to that because I too get those days where the world gets too much for me and I rush home to regrow a thick skin and ignore doorbellls, phone calls from parents, or anybody. That is until I have gathered my thoughts and licked my wounds. After that I'm back to normal. The other two times, he let me know after that he had been in hospital. In those incidents he went through a period where he ignored my messages.

He calls me his princess and the only time I gave seen him annoyed was when he wanted me to meet his friends and I stood him up. In my defence, he told his lawyer friends that I'd be coming even though he consulted me after making that promise. He called, I didn't answer because I was busy. He later told me why he was so mad, and that was because he had never introduced a girl to them and they teased him a lot afterwards.

He tells me I'm special to him and has told me that he loves me.

Every bit of my body is in a fight or flight position. It is not just with him. Scared of giving him my heart and having him hurt it. It's hard for me to give my heart to just anyone. I like him so much but I feel like telling him all that I feel but instead, I just stare at him and we end up having a staring competition.

Am I making sense?

Oh aye, that makes sense. If you cannot tell him, write it down, tie it with a red ribbon and present it to him.
This frees you to write from the heart without all the fluttering of physical presence and being a bit tongue-tied.
Stalemate just sucks. But listen to self as well. It's never just about one person or the other, but how it makes a cohesive whole. There has to be a meeting point of minds as well as heart.

No, of course I am wary of rushing into marriage. I have told him it is something I'd like just not soon. He knows this.

He just called me his wife out of the blue. I ask him repeatedly from time to time if he really does want to have a serious relationship leading to marriage and he finds it weird that I ask the same questions over and over. He says I should just relax and go with the flow. I have read the boards and he doesn't come across as sensitive at face value; only if we're talking about sensitive issues. I don't mind not seeing him often. I do like my freedom too, it's just that I wish he'd touch in once in a while. It's the security thing.

I will definitely let him chase me. That's what's the problem. Um used to guys chasing fervently whereas this had me questioning.

I'm going to take all your advice. Thank you to all of you.

Oh yeah, he has Venus in Leo and mars in Aries.

He also loves telling me about women that have approached him. I have expressed a hint of jealousy which I know he enjoyed!