i have a taurus sun with a cancer moon and libra rising she is a cancer sun with a scorpio rising and aquarius rising we have been going out for just under a year (a year on the 24th of this month) she is 4 years my senior and during the first few months it was the most warm and pleasant time of the relationship. with even having such drastic plans of marriage we where certainly talking about it from the start but nowadays it feels as if the disagreements we have had in the past just cannot be forgotten i find that i want to do everything to make this relationship work no matter what but we always seem to come into conflict as we each think we devote the most and we ourselves are the ones getting our heart stepped on we have always said that love can conquer all even if sometimes sacrificing our own happiness for the other however recentloy past the 8 month mark she continues to not know what she wants if she is not in the best of moods as one day we still planon getting married and the next while arguing all of that is thrown out the window i myself sometimes don't know and am sometimes thrown off by the volatile moods i always have patience for her but i also feel hurt when she says she dosen't feel beautifull enough around me or inside with herself and would even rationally consider surgery is she feeling this hate/dislike for herself because she is with me? i would always aim to bolster er self -esteem and convince her all the time how beautifull a person she is telling her physicality does not come first but some days it's like i'm not saying anthng i always try and stay positive because i love her so much but it is draining and sometimes feel myself clingting to what was before the good days trying to bring them back. i feel now that as hard as it is maybe when she says sometimes she wants to be happy and when i follow up to ask if she can gain happiness with me she dosen't fully give me and answer instead putting the question on me saying she doubts i will miss her and would even be better off without her. do i need to be strong and just have a clean break we have separated before in the past never more than a week or two to cool down but now she is in another country for at least 5-6 months while i am here waiting for her she says she does not feel secure and that she is scared i will leave i always tell her and show er i am always there and my patience will
