Virgo man, Cancer girl (long long story)

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yazlan
@yazlan
10 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 121 · Topics: 9
I need serious advice on this one. There is this Cancer girl I was friends with for about 2 years. She knows all about my ex and love life, and was very fascinated with it (she told me she used to tell her girlfriends about it). She is BFF of one of my good friends' ex and we live in different countries at the moment but she's from mine. It started when she added me on fb thinking I'm too smart after reading my conversations. Fast forward to this year, my ex got married and I was broken. She helped me a lot and was there for me the time of need. When I was not around, she'd ask my friend about me. (I liked her from the start and never initiated anything (during friendship days) fearing it would lead somewhere else.) After sometime, my friend and her ex suggested that we should try to know each other better. The trouble started.

We chatted everyday for hours, though she is has a tough job and I have a business that demands long hours (I was not working very much due to depression and was freqquently off work). She was very uncomfortable with the idea from the start and actually laughed when her BFF told her that I like her. I sent her flowers on her birthday and first she gave me a good thrashing for sending her flowers, then said it was too expensive and then said what would my ex think. I snapped at her last comment and we had a fight. Her mood and birthday spoiled and we didn't talk for many days. Things got better but she was always throwing my ex in my face all the time without any context or reason. I think she poked me with her name to see my reactions which was highly insensitive in my opinion and judgemental. She was blocking all my advances but would still be lurking around testing me. 6 weeks after her birthday, I told her that I'm getting tired of her blocking my advances. She told me I'm too harsh and deactivated her fb account. I admit I was not at my best behaviour and was very rude at times. I texted her and said sorry, she came back after a week and texted me she's activating her fb account. Once she did activate, she kept giving me cold shoulder until a week later when it was my birthday. I did not know if she remembered my birthday and expected her to at least call me on my birthday. She did not call or text me. I was furious and mad, and took out my frustration at my friend. A day or two later, when we talked and she said I didn't come online on my birthday and that she waited. I told her that I don't live on fb but real world and if she wanted she would have called or texted me. I told her I expected her call/text when my birthday started and she said it was not her timezone. That one did hurt real bad.
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yazlan
@yazlan
10 Years

Comments: 1 · Posts: 121 · Topics: 9
During this time, my friend and her BFF were forcing her to make a decision quick (her BFF suggested 1 month) which she did not appreciate. I told her that she doesn't need to pay heed to them and I don't expect her to answer me for a few months since I'm still trying to cope with issues at my end. For context, she has to marry someone from her native country and there ain't many choices where she lives. I admitted have deep feelings for her when she had deactivated her account. One month after that we were chatting and there was some romantic discussion and poof she brings up my ex and says I will never forget my ex. I told her that she should not disrespect her by saying it all the time since she's married now and I feel kinda guilty. Poof! She disappears. Next day I see her online but she did not respond to me. After a few messages she did. She immediately said that we can't be together and that she can not be with a guy who is overly sensitive about her ex. And then she rambled on; I had to tell her that it's okay and I don't need to know her reasons and that I have feelings for her and we can't be friends anymore. I rode the wave and deleted her off my fb. That was the worst mistake I could ever make and not proud of it. But the emotions were so overwhelming and she had been mistreating me (not justifying my act) for some time that I was really feeling insulted.

I was in a trauma and was even considering going to a therapist. She sent me an fb message after 10 days that they she's sorry that she's hurt me and I don't need to reply back. I said I need time to work on myself. It took me a couple of more weeks to get over that feeling of anger and being insulted. I sent her a message and she replied with a cold message that she's just came back from a visit to my country and she's tired. She didn't tell me she was coming else I would have met her. Now she has a bigger justification to make me feel evil. I wrote her a couple more times that I want to talk and asked her why didn't she tell me and that she should have. No response. I texted her today that I'd call her over the weekend and that I would have come immediately to see her if I could (only 12000 miles). I don't expect her to pick up my call but I will all her anyway.

I'm 32 and she's 24. So I had experience on my side but during this time my anger has been an issue with me. The cancer has a knack of infuriating me somehow with her poking questions and repeated mentions of my ex. At another time I would not have even blinked but during that time, it was too hurting and insensitive. Her insecurity and my anger has ruined it for us. But I want to make up for it and I can travel the distance.

What should I do now?
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notafollower
@notafollower
10 Years500+ Posts

Comments: 0 · Posts: 803 · Topics: 61
Are you a Virgo? Cause wtf- these Virgos yeah. You like to make everything complicated. Tbh, i bring up exes all the time cause i like to talk about the past & future - no subliminal message . Second - we have a hard time accepting expensive gifts if we cant pay you back (meaning, if youre far and i cant nurture you in return) . Third - stop being so aggressive & stop confusing the shit out of her. Stupid virgo - cancer relationship - its too flipping real/ beautifulyet so flipping frustrating.