can you help?

Hello there,

I am a Pisces with a problem! I hope someone can help.
I have just read this description of
Pisces:

Pisces, when active in the chart, is loving, caring, communicative, easily influenced,
easygoing, dreamy, pleasant, comforting, philosophical,
idealistic, creative, volunteering, contemplative, spiritual, reverent,
empathic, devoted, unpretentious, visionary, romantic, versatile,
musical, open-minded, gentle, polite, charming, gracious, lucky,
enthusiastic, prosperous, tactful, healing, trustworthy, psychic,
and tolerant.


Unfavorable Pisces can be manipulative, passive-aggressive,
timid, helpless, degenerate, psychotic, ungrounded,
have poor concentration and follow-through, procrastinating,
bad with money, lacking in goals, undefended emotionally, lazy,
indulgent, gullible, tearful, impulsive, unreliable, airheaded,
unsettled, indecisive, confused, superficial, melancholic,
inconsistent, addictive, overzealous, a loner, uncommunicative,
bad with details, and misplaces trust.

Unfortunately, at the moment, the 'unfavorable Pisces' description
applies to me.
I was at one stage have of the 'favorable' description. In fact
I know I was. The biggest thing I had, was the Piscean hope and foresight.
I was optimistic about what I wanted to do and what came natural to me.
But being a Pisces ( although I never realised it at the time, and that it
would bring me to this point) I lacked the practical skills to put
my dreams in motion.

I was naturally very quick and bright,and funny - with lots of ideas
bouncing around. Musical, entertaining etc etc.

A few months ago I moved back in with my parents - and as
they are quite straight, cynical 'down-to-earth' insensitive ( I don't mean that
disparagingly they are just like that) people who don't go in for anything
ethereal or flimsy, like the arts- I have found myself being so influenced by their attitudes,and
getting more and more discouraged and sinking deeper and deeper, that I am ending
up once again doing things and jobs just to please them at the end of the day
that I feel I am my losing my own identity. Not only am I doing things to please
them, but I am BEING ways to please them. Naturally when I am around people that respond
favorabley to me, I am quite high-spirited and funny and all the good things about Pisces.
When I arrived here, I was like that to a degree, but they disparaged of it more and more.
It is only my nature, and how I deal with things, by using humour. I mean I can get
things done better if there is humour about it. But I wasn;t being 'serious; enough
for them, and more and more I felt worse and worse.
When I came back to live here I thought they would help, but they don't want to
help, because they don't believe in the things I do, and are not so open-minded.

All I want to do is go to drama school. But they have trampled all over my
dreams and feelings long enough already, that I don't want them to do it to
my one true dream. But I am finding it harder and harder to help myself. So I am at
the stage where there is NO WAY I can reveal my true dream, becaus they will onl
be extremely cynical and disparaging of it and I couldn;t take that.

I am slipping in to unfavorable mode more and more each day due to
these difficulties.

Not to blame them or anything - but I didnt realise it would affect me so
much, otherwise I would have avoided coming here.

I need to ask anyone out there, who might have a little expertise in
Astrology ( or psychiatry!)- will I be stuck in this mode forever??
I am doomed to be the Pisces victim, failure?? What can I do to help myself?

In astrology terms my father is a Leo, my mother a Capricorn. My
father is so typical Le

Ellie,

I'm an 18 year old Capricorn coming to grips with what it means to be an adult. Half of this is learning to come to terms with disappointments and decisions you wished you had made and acted on long ago. The other half of this is learning to control your own emotions and reactions to situations that, obviously, are entirely results of past conversations, events, or behaviors. I want to get a Doctorate's in Philosophy, but I enrolled in a local college for a Theater Arts major because six months ago I had no idea Philosophy would be so appealing to me. I have no clue whether or not it will continue to be as appealing six months from now. Who knows, I may decide to change my music minor to a music major, and based on my fourth quarter grades I may be rejected from college altogether. I might not live past graduation night next Friday, being instead one of the victims of tragic car accidents late at night that are always about, or I might while away my time out of highschool and not publish either of the novels I've written.

What I am trying to get across is that no one knows what will happen tomorrow, and there is always the overwhelming possibility that it might indeed be unpleasant. I am convinced, though, that everyone alive can muster the moral courage to make it through tomorrow and that in itself is the entrance to a stairwell that leads to whatever goals you have in mind. Your parents, it sounds to me, are simply trying to help you achieve that goal, though I know parents can sometimes sound domineering and that criticism is extremely difficult to take sometimes. (On that note, my mother was born the same day of the year as Hitler and my father is 100% grade-A Leo...with a SCORPIO in the ascendant!) Nevertheless, no matter what a person's goals are, but with special emphasis on those of us with goals in the arts, a practical plan must be made and there has got to be something to support oneself until the goal can be reached. For me, this means working full-time supervising at a supermarket until a more...*ahem*...lucrative job opportunity comes along, at which I can take home larger paychecks. This also means, for me, that I will simply take general ed credits until I can get into a larger college with more options to major in.

For you, I would say that if you could come up with a place of residence, a job to support your living there, and the ability to pay for utilities and food every week, your parents would have nothing to worry about. That is quite a feat itself in this world of the employer's market with unemployment so high. From there, you could use your spare time to get your foot in the door of the acting community. You could also, if you feel the need, see a counselor or read books on working up your self-confidence, which seems at the moment you wrote your post to be mixed with a twinge of hopelessness. Remember: you are twenty-five, and being an adult is nothing more than realising that you can make decisions for yourself just as well as anybody, and so can your parents. Above all, though, be sensitive to your parents, they have invested oodles of time in their daughter and, granted they be given the chance, couldn't help but have only good things to say after seeing a successful performance by you in the acting community.

By the way, this is coming from someone who knows what the acting community is like. I have become close friends with a teacher who was on Broadway. I have starred in local plays myself, long since addicted to the thrill of using subtlety to play with audiences' minds, and I am auditioning for my first film role late this June for another teacher's friend's Master's project from I'mcluelesswhere University. Your source of information is a solid one, even if he's got ADD. My e-mail is theboringcapricorn@yahoo.com if you or anyone feels the need to use it to talk, I would very much like to be a helping hand and a shoulder to stand on to reach the sta

Hi Josh,
I hear all you are saying, and I did come to most of those conclusions also. I reached this joyous point some time ago, of waking up from not doing the things I wanted to be doing, and realising that all I had to do was start doing the things that interested me, and not the things that were the norm for my family - Philosophy was one of those things also! I was so happy and excited, and full of joy at this, that I ended up putting my trust in other people( namely my parents) by telling them all the things I wanted to do. They couldn;t understand and wanted explanations. When I told them that I had been doing things just to keep people happy, they took this as a complete insult and like ti was blaming them for everything, and that I was so ungrateful for everythign that they have ever done for me. ( But what I meant was that it was ME that had felt I had to please everyone.)
I also have a major problem with guilt. So I realise now, I should have walked away then, but I foolishly have been caught in this vicious circle now for the past few months of trying to convince them that it is ME and not them that I blame. They don't seem to believe me, and the more I feel that from them, the more depressed I become. What an idiot eh? I see other people, just walk away from situations like that, and I think why didn't I just let it go! I don't like to hurt other peoples feelings. So this has been like torture to me. I guess all I can do now, is write them some sort of letter, and hope that they will eventually see the real me.
It has taken me a while to realise that they are responsible for their emotions, and I shouldn't let it stop me.
Thanks for your words of wisdom though!
take care
Ellie