cap I've been in love w/for years kissed me...

On friday night, I was hanging out with my cap friend that I've always had a thing for, for years...
heres some backstory

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/capricorn/is-it-too-late-for-something-more-than-friendship-2329224/
basically I went through some really bad stuff relationship-wise, in the past couple of weeks
and he was there for me/concerned about me and we were just sitting on his bed talking, then he puts a movie in and we lay next to each other, he puts his arms around me and asks me more questions about what happened, etc... I'm getting all emotional, and then he tells me to face him and look at him then he kisses me, and we start kissing... the kisses started getting deeper and yeah we definitely had to stop ourselves... so we stop and he just holds me and holds me tight.


the nextt day I text him thanking him for being there for me, and listening to me, etc...
then he says "your welcome" and asks how i'm doing, etc..
but then hes gone all distant, and only giving me short replies, kind of like he doesn't want to talk.

I know he does this sometimes... but idk, maybe he regrets what happened? or he just needs time to proccess what happened? ... I know, I need to talk to HIM about these things but I'll give it more time. In the mean time though, what are your thoughts?

I think Cappys (including me) do this often. It's like a natural reaction.
I can only talk about myself. Probably the reason is different for others.

For me the reason is that i am deep down a very serious person. I mean VERY serious. I only start relationships with people with who i can imagine myself in the long run. If i can't, even if i am attracted to somebody (physicall and mentally) i will make him into a good friend, and have no problem with self controll in the future. If somebody is in the friend zone, he can be the hottest man, i will not think about him sexually. Discipline, self-controll and common sense are things we are good at. Yes, i knwo it's not fun. LOL

But opposite of the popular belief Cappy is not made from wood. We are not always controlled, and even if we have amazing self-idscipline under the mask (or the lawerly exterior) there is a vulcano. Something very hot, and out of controll. Cappy is CAPRICIOUS, and very action oriented. We can be spur of a moment.

Yes, i can desire someone and be hot and bothered in one second (without any foreplay) in a situation like yours, or any romantic situaion. Many times i can be very sudden, even agressive in situations like this. I am just with somebody and suddenly i feel sympathy, or want to comfort, or simply the moment is right. Depends on the Cap in which situation we give in.

But the next day, we always start to think. Do i really want to be with him, or was this only a moment-thing? Can i imagine myself with him seriously, in the long run. We need time to figure this out, because we definitely don't want to waste precious time just for the sake of dating, just to not be alone, etc.

If i am with somebody, i am usually serious about it, even if at the end we split. I want to have fun, i don't expect it to work, i let things to shape themselves, but i will NEVER start anything if i can't imagine anything in the long term.

I can be on my own without problem, so if i am with him, it means he is exactly the person who i want to be with. It's not because i have time to kill. I have friends with who i can be and entertain myself, i won't use another person just to feel better.

So, i think this is the reason for distancing ourselves after kisses, hugs and anything what is a bit more than friendly expression.
Hope i could help you a bit.

Good luck! (I had a Pisces boyfriend, and i only have good memories with him.)

Good advice by QuietSt0rm! I didn't know your history, sorry.

Don't enter a relationship just because you are vulnerable, wait until things get clear in your head/heart. Just because somebody is kind, you don't usually start to date with him. Wait unil you find out if he is really the person who you want.

thanks for the replies everyone... yeah it makes sense, he is probably thinking a lot. Just as I am. I was vulnerable and he was there, and he did what he thought he had to do.... who knows, maybe it was just a one time thing. But god I hope it isn't because I know we could be great together. He always says so himself that our style s in relationships compliment each other. We're both little "hopeless romantics" I know that he would appreciate me, and I would appreciate him.

I thought about what you said QuietStorm, a bit after it happened and I think maybe thats why he didn't let it go out of control.

I just hope this distance/awkwardness passes soon... Its driving me insane!

dreaming,

You say you've been friends for years and you have leaned on each other and been there for each other. Ask yourself why haven't you two hooked up romantically before? The only thing different now could have been just a yin/yang moment.

I think your cappy knows you had/have a crush on him, yet he didn't make a move. There's a reason for that, and you would do yourself a favor by finding out what it is. If he was digging you all those years and for whatever reason, he kept his distance, if he thought that now was a good time to have you for himself, he would seize the moment in a very real way and let you know he wants to be your man. Caps take a long time to decide, but when they do, carpe diem! You would have NO DOUBT about his feelings and intentions towards you. The fact that you are questioning how he feels about you now the "morning after", makes me think he didn't do that.

My advice is: Get your head out of the clouds and pay attention to Flora and QStorm. They are telling you like it is. If you truly desire more from this guy, make sure he wants the same thing. Although I don't think that if you two did get intimate it would ruin your friendship for HIM, it would be a lesson learned for you. I wouldn't let him lead or direct this situation unless you have set your standards of what you want and he is following your plan. Otherwise, you will be compromising yourself because you don't believe he really wants the real you. Caps and Pisceans do have a connection. But that connection is best when it is based in understanding where each of you stand with each other, rather than on presumption.

Just sayin.....

"I think your cappy knows you had/have a crush on him, yet he didn't make a move. There's a reason for that, and you would do yourself a favor by finding out what it is."

this was kind of touched on in my previous post here on the cap board... He said so himself that he never made a move on me because his cousin really liked me, and he didn't want that to get in the way of them so he had backed off. Then time went by and, he already had something going with another girl. then I got with his cousin, and while I was with his cousin he had another gf and when we broke up he was still with her and then as they broke up I got with this guy that was very very wrong for me...

so basically, times never been on our side, and right now. Since I JUST got out of this bad relationship, and then our kiss happened. I think its freaked both of us out because so much has happened in a short amount of time. So I think that he is giving me time because things JUST ended with this other guy. But I do know that we have to talk about it, and next time I do see him I will.

I just came on here to get some more perspective on this, which i did. and Its really helped me think of the situation.
So thank you guys 🙂

You always had a thing for this Cap man! How come you guys never tried to be more involve with each other? Caps are very smart & they have a tendency to be able 2 tell when a woman is interested in more than just friendship. He could have felt a big spark when you spilled out your emotion from your breakup. Maybe he thought you were vulnerable and if he made love to you he could help you forgot about the other man.

Just be care full and don't jump into another relationship so quickly. Because caps men get be cold at times and distant. Since you guys were friends you should know!

Posted by dreamingpisces
On friday night, I was hanging out with my cap friend that I've always had a thing for, for years...
heres some backstory

https://www.dxpnet.com/opinion/capricorn/is-it-too-late-for-something-more-than-friendship-2329224/
basically I went through some really bad stuff relationship-wise, in the past couple of weeks
and he was there for me/concerned about me and we were just sitting on his bed talking, then he puts a movie in and we lay next to each other, he puts his arms around me and asks me more questions about what happened, etc... I'm getting all emotional, and then he tells me to face him and look at him then he kisses me, and we start kissing... the kisses started getting deeper and yeah we definitely had to stop ourselves... so we stop and he just holds me and holds me tight.


the nextt day I text him thanking him for being there for me, and listening to me, etc...
then he says "your welcome" and asks how i'm doing, etc..
but then hes gone all distant, and only giving me short replies, kind of like he doesn't want to talk.

I know he does this sometimes... but idk, maybe he regrets what happened? or he just needs time to proccess what happened? ... I know, I need to talk to HIM about these things but I'll give it more time. In the mean time though, what are your thoughts?

You always had a thing for this Cap man! How come you guys never tried to be more involve with each other? Maybe his choice I'm assuming? Caps are very smart & they have a tendency to be able 2 tell when a woman is interested in more than just friendship. He could have felt a big spark when you spilled out your emotion from your breakup. Maybe he thought you were vulnerable and if he made love to you he could help you forgot about the other man.

Just be care full and don't jump into another relationship so quickly. Because caps men get be cold at times and distant. Since you guys were friends you should know!

You always had a thing for this Cap man! How come you guys never tried to be more involve with each other? Maybe his choice I'm assuming? Caps are very smart & they have a tendency to be able 2 tell when a woman is interested in more than just friendship. He could have felt a big spark when you spilled out your emotion from your breakup. Maybe he thought you were vulnerable and if he made love to you he could help you forgot about the other man.

Just be care full and don't jump into another relationship so quickly. Because caps men get be cold at times and distant. Since you guys were friends you should know!

It seems like I've read this story before -- about you dating his(cappy) cousin, but not really dating his cousin ... I remember posting on it. Wasn't it determined that b/c you dated his cousin he couldn't get serious about you?

I agree with what everyone has said. All men prefer women that have not been in a relationship with people they know. Particularly, a relative. I would think this would ring even more true with a Cap man. They are serious when it comes to who they CHOSE to be in a relationship with. They want a woman who on the surface is feminine, intelligent, ambitious and self confident. A woman who commands respect from all. Yet, when the doors are closed, let's her hair down. In other words, I respectable lady in the streets and a freak in the sheets. He doesn't want anyone to know about the freaky side of her. That intimate part of her. Whether it be sexual or just how she behaves in a relationship. Let alone, experienced that part of her personally. I think it would be extremely hard for a cap man to date and take serious a woman who has dated his cousin. Cap men are perfectionist. They want to be the best at everything they do. They want their women to be the same. They want to gain access to things that other people cannot easily attain. This is why they might spend an obscene amount of money of something that many other would/could not. They do this because they can (number one) and because others cannot. It's rare. It's WORTH a lot. So it is with the women who they date. They want the woman that very few if not no know one else can pin down. Just my two cents. Good luck sweetie!

One more thing, not to say you're not worth a lot. Cap men look at everything as an investment. They weigh the value of things. They weigh the value in a woman before they invest their time and energy into creating a relationship with her. I hate to say it, rightly or wrongly, by you have dating his cousin it could possibly affect his value of you as a girlfriend . He might think youre great. He might have all the respect in the would for you. But being able to live with knowing that his cousin knows about his girl intimately, I don't know if a cap man could stomach that

Posted by dreamingpisces

the nextt day I text him thanking him for being there for me, and listening to me, etc...
then he says "your welcome" and asks how i'm doing, etc..
but then hes gone all distant, and only giving me short replies, kind of like he doesn't want to talk.

One thing I've learned; Caps (esp the men) hate to text, msg or yak on the phone about personal stuff. They'd go into extensive detail about work/school related stuff if you ask for their help but when it comes to matters of the heart, they HATE texting. Their replies are always short & to the point. Many women interpret this as a lack of interest. Truth is, they prefer face-to-face when it comes to r/s issues.

Another thing; honor & family is very important to them. They may have horrible values themselves but they'd rather die than betray their relatives...even if they hate a particular relative's guts. It's a quirky, misguided sort of "honor" for them. So I think your Devilman may have deep feelings for you but as long as his cousin is in the picture, it's going to be hard.

Also, them mer-goats are just as intuitive as you fishes. They can see right through a person. He probably senses that he's a rebound guy (you just broke off with that Aries right?). You may deny this but fish folk themselves have difficulties sorting out their true feelings or WHY they do what they do. Ever wonder why a Cap seems to know just how you feel....without you saying a word.....even when you yourself can't seem to put a finger on whatever you're feeling? (They're half-fish, remember?)

Devilman may also have too much honor to take advantage of a girl who's emotionally vulnerable just after having her heart broken (by your Aries ex). Hence his aloofness. He comforted you when you were down but decided not to go further because

A) You're emotionally vulnerable just after your break-up. He doesn't want to take advantage of that.
B) He doesn't want to be the rebound guy
C) The Cousin

You know I disagree and agree with some of the comments here. First off dreaming is 22 so im guessing her Cap is in the same age group too, their young.

IMO, I think he really cares for you dreaming BUT you also dated his cousin but sometimes love happens that way....it might be a deal breaker for him.

I consider myself a somewhat Cap male expert but I am learning everyday. Caps LOVE to be needed so at that moment he could tell that you were sad and he was there for you. I have been there, where I have had some trouble at work and where i though I would be embarassed by telling my cap but to my surprise he totally ahd my back. Just by him being there the way he was, he cares for you.

Dreaming this is where you have to be careful because now you are sprung! be careful not to get too needed or emotional because he is in retreat mode, he's still trying to wrap his mind around everyrthing and is thinking of a LOGICAL way to deal with it. You dated his cousin, you just came out of something messy....he'sthinking all of this.

If you get too emotional or talkative or too clingy he's gonna back away. I say play it cool, act normal and let HIM come to you....if a man wants you bad, he will come get you but you guys have history and he is menatlly weighing it. Do not force the issue, let time be the judge and be normal.

thank you all for your responses.. you are all very smart and definitely know what you are talking about, thats for sure 🙂
I'm taking everything in. I really am.

I'm not expecting anything... and I'm a VERY patient person. and I know that if we're supposed to be together, that it will happen. we just have those issues in the way (that BeoWulf mentioned). I'm worried that he thinks hes the rebound guy and maybe we did just get caught up in a moment or whatever. I'm content just being his friend. YES I love him, and want to be with him but maybe just right nows not our time. Or maybe we won't even have our time who knows..

But I'm just going to keep playing it cool... no pressure on him... I don't want to freak him out.



the good thing about my past 2 relationships is i'm definitely learning to deal with everything more logically instead of just emotionally. I'm seeing the other side of things... haha.

I guess patience is the key... he asked me out on a date 🙂

well this went to shit.

long story short. we got drunk, fucked, and that was the end of our friendship.

damn alcohol always gets me into trouble 😢

I'm just mad that this is what I was worth to him. a one night stand. after knowing very well all the shit i've been through recently.


everyones right. they all just want one thing....

yes I know, :/ I just trusted him and thought I knew him and didn't think that he'd be one of these guys...

I guess I'm ok though. Could be worse. At least I know now what kind of guy he really is and can finally move on after so long.

Posted by dreamingpisces

long story short. we got drunk, fucked, and that was the end of our friendship.

damn alcohol always gets me into trouble 😢

I'm just mad that this is what I was worth to him. a one night stand. after knowing very well all the shit i've been through recently.


everyones right. they all just want one thing....

Did it ever occur to you that he may be thinking that it was YOU who was using him for revenge-sex after breaking off with your Aries ex? That that was all HE (the Cap) meant to you? Someone to fall back on whenever your heart gets broken by some other guy? Maybe he realized that you were using him for sex to get everything out of your system (which you will no doubt deny?)

As you say, you BOTH got drunk. Maybe he was too drunk to refuse YOUR advances (which..again..you will deny. But alcohol impairs your judgement...or what you can remember afterwards).

Posted by dreamer23

My mom told me today that women dont make men prove themselves anymore. She said they have to prove themselves all along way. Chasing is not proving.

After hanging out with guys, I've come to the conclusion that guys don't want to bother proving themselves to women anymore. Given today's divorce statistics and how men nowadays get raped in divorce courts & stuck with child support (often for kids that the woman LIED that were was his...watch "You're Not The Father" episodes)...men just don't see the worth in proving themselves to a woman. One guy told me how he completely respected a girl he liked (she was a graduate, highly educated, comes from a prominent family, etc) and did the whole wine & roses and "respect her/treat her like a lady" and basically did everything to be the perfect prince to "prove" himself to her.......and then the pics turned up of her getting banged by some tatooed biker dude badboy who had a reputation for beating women. She knew this and was often a victim herself. She still stuck with him until he broke her jaw one day...and then left for another state.

I hear many stories like these from guys. So can you blame today's guys for not wanting to prove themselves to anybody...least of all a woman? Oh, and they don't want to hear "but not every woman is like that" excuse (their word). They've heard it all before.

Qouted from a guy friend: "You women say you want a nice guy & you want him to prove his love for you.....and then you turn around & spread your legs for the guy/s who couldn't care less about you. It's like you want a guy to prove himself to you...and yet YOU spread your legs to prove yourself to a guy who doesn't really want you. And then you have the gall to say guys only want one thing...when that "one thing" is all you women have to offer?"

And then he gulped down his beer in one move.

Wait a sec. Hold up. I have to play devil's advocate and (I think) bring up an extremely valuable point. Ok, maybe the guy is just some asshole that just wanted sex. Who knows, I am not arguing that point. In a perfect world, we want men to not conduct themselves like this. We want them to be caring and considerate. Compassionate and respectful at all times. In a prefect world. However, (sad to say) this is not a perfect world. So, in this imperfect world, you started hanging out with your Cap friend who you have feelings for, you BOTH got drunk and you had sex with one another. Now, he has disappeared from the scene. Who knows for what reason. But we know he is gone for now. OK. Where do you begin to take responsibility for your OWN actions in this scenario? I got it that he is possibly an asshole. Fine. But isnt this your life and your body. I do not mean to be mean or rude at all! But I had to kick myself in my own ass about 2 years ago about this very kind of crap. I used to make poor decisions with MY body/life, the guy would react in a piss poor way(s) to MY poor decision(s) and then I would blame the guy. Oh hes an asshole, hes a jerk. And all my friends would co-sign with me about how terrible he is. It was not until the last couple of years that have I been fortunate enough to meet women who say, ok hes an asshole, BUT what about your role in all this. Not to beat yourself up over but to remember that we are control of ourselves. Our lives and our bodies. Unless, we are raped, a man cannot do anything with our body that we do not allow him to.

With that being said, lets revisit the situation. You like him. He asked you out on a date. You guys got drunk. You two wiling agreed to have sex with one another, hes gone now. Ok, did you two agree that you would be exclusive? Did you discuss your future at all with him prior to getting drunk and doing the do? Again, I am not bringing these points up to be mean, but to help you to see that you played a role in this as well. You guys got drunk, you allowed sex to come up and he like most men, took the opportunity. Lol. That is just the way it is. Right, wrong, or in between, that is the way it is.

Perhaps he has disappeared to think about what is going on. Assess if he wants to go there with you. Or, maybe he's out being an ass. Who knows. The IMPORTANT thing is for you to learn from this. Not point fingers and call him everything but a child of God. But for you to see what you could have done differently that could have created a different result, and make sure not to do it again. Make sense?

Again, I apologize if I came off a bit harsh.

*In a perfect world we DO NOT want men to conduct themselves like this.... Sorry

Posted by QuietSt0rm

She has said in numerous threads that she tried to pursue a relationship with this guy before the aries and even before the sex. He was shifty and inconsistent.

Actually she was with his cousin before the aries. Hence it wasn't he who was shifty & inconsistent. Will YOU go for a guy who was with you cousin/bff/sister/etc?

He had his tongue down her throat right after he found out she was no longer a virgin, and they were both sober at that time. He knew what he was doing.

click to expand

And you were there to witness this? How do we know it wasn't SHE who initiated the whole thing? And that he played along because he realized she needed to get the breakup out of her system? Pisces have a constant need to be wanted/loved, after all. And we know many people, irregardless of sign, confuse sex for love...or they have sex because..for that brief moment, they just wanted to feel needed. Seriously, when was the last time a guy refused a make-out session/sex when the girl initiated it? Also, it's a fact that sometimes when two people who like each other are in close proximity, there comes an instance when..out of the blue...there is a spark and they just lock lips without even realizing it. In other words, it was a mutual reaction from BOTH sides.

I think that you should just take it easy and hang out with yourself for awhile.

You just slept with him AND his cousin. Cap or not that is hard for a guy to swallow and it will always be a thing over your head.

Thats like apart of the girl code that you dont break, you dont sleep with ur friend ex boyfriend just like you dont sleep with your ex boyfriend relatives.

He is a GUY....a young one at that, Cap or not, he wanted some...even if not maliciously in the end.

If he is close with his cousin consider it a wrap...he not wifing that.

Say no to the homie hopping ALWAYS!

Tough lesson to learn but been there done that and I understand but dont do it again.

Also listen to "That Thing (Doo Wop) - Lauryn Hill from the album The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill, the lyrics speaks volumes.

Side Question: Is it really a Pisces thing to go for the wrong type of guy even if its spelled ou in bold capitol letters in front of them?


Case in point my cousin. Met a guy (Sagitarrius), grew very fond of him, he was single, no kids, and lived 40 miles away from her. One day they met up at her house, His WIFE pulled up, with their KIDS who lived a block away from her.

I told my cousin who is a Pisces, to never answer his calls again. She says she miss talking to him and blah blah blah....LIKE WHAT?

So tell me, are Pisces sucker for punishment?

Wow i haven't been on here in a while....

But lets see, yes I know I was at fault too. Its my body, and I was drinking and definitely not in the best mind state.
I've learned that.
All alcohol has done lately is get me in trouble therefore I'm gonna chill from drinking for a while.

I dated his cousin, yes. but never slept with him, we never even kissed or held hands. It was a big waste of my time of which the capricorn realized and even suggested I break up with him and stop wasting my time on his cousin.

I did come to the capricorn a lot with my relationship problems through out the past year, and hes done the same. Its how we've grown closer in the past year. i always viewed him as my rock. the one person i could trust. in all of our relationship talking, we've learned that we want the same things in relationships, etc... he even told me that hes upset that hes always treated as a one night stand, when thats exactly what he did to me, it threw me off. Since he said that and on top of that I trusted him I never would have thought that we'd just have sex and then not even talk about it again. When i tried to talk to him about it, it was a few days after it happened. he went cold though. so we still haven't talked about what happened.

i'm not going to know if his silence is because he is ashamed and feels guilty about what happened. or maybe he really does only view me as one night stand material. But i've tried talking, and its gotten nowhere. maybe he needs time and i'll try again, or maybe I'll just forget this and move on. I'm not going to know my answers right now.

YES everyone warned me, but my heart told me different. I always foolishly blindly follow my heart and all thats gotten me is trouble and pain. I was always thinking he'd never be the one to hurt me. I depended on him entirely too much. I've never placed as much hope and trust and love into a person as I did him. I truly did trust him more than I've ever trusted anyone in my life, thats why I never would have thought that this would happen like this.

that night that we kissed though, i've never felt so safe with anyone before. or such comfort. and while i don't know where we stand right now I'll still remember that and smile. he was sober that night but i was tipsy... idk.

then the night we had sex, yeah i was more drunk than he was... it was a mistake.
and yes, i'm young and still learning.

Posted by xdxp

Posted by dreamingpisces
well this went to shit.

long story short. we got drunk, fucked, and that was the end of our friendship.

damn alcohol always gets me into trouble 😢

I'm just mad that this is what I was worth to him. a one night stand. after knowing very well all the shit i've been through recently.


everyones right. they all just want one thing....

did he tell you point blank that this is the end of your friendship or he does not want to hear from you again or he simply cut you off immediately after?

whatever his real intention was, try not to carry a victim mindset. i see many girls/women do this. they feel being taken advantage of after sex. seriously, if you only go for what you want and cannot be pushed into anything that you don't want to do, then you will never feel used. then you are truly equal.

click to expand

yeah when i posted this, i was in that "victim" mindset, he never said we wouldn't be friends but things are definitely not the same now. hes much colder and distant. he won't joke around with me like he used to... theres definitely an awkward change. maybe time will fix that maybe not.

Ok so the cousin wasnt the virginity taker.......well you stand a chance.

But in the end....F him....let him come to u, do you and just live your life for you.

Posted by justSophs
Ok so the cousin wasnt the virginity taker.......well you stand a chance.

But in the end....F him....let him come to u, do you and just live your life for you.

thanks, yeah thats what I've been doing.
I'm trying not to overthink or dwell on this situation too much. Just going out with friends and such.

He did invite me to go on a trip with him for spring break, so the fact that he is still thinking of me is nice.
Maybe our friendship isn't as ruined as i thought it was.

Nah, if he is inviting you aout then its a good sign that he was being a Cappie and just mulling over things the way they do.

Just take your time and have some boundries going forward, and take of you.