Caps/Aquas FWB Closure

I am an Aquarius female who has been having an on/off FWB thing with a Capricorn male on and off for the past 12 years (Yes, I know!). It has been a strictly booty-call type relationship and I have never pushed him for anything more. (Even though I secretly wanted a relationship with him, why, I don't know, but that is the occupational hazard of entering into FWB. I made my peace with the status of our —relationship?? years ago.)
When we are not having sex with each other, we might as well be —dead to each other??, until we randomly bump into each other, and pick up where we left off.

I ended things with him in November of last year, (and have remained celibate ever since), due to the fact that one night he rang me to ask me if I remembered a certain girl from his past (??), I said yes, all the while wondering where this was going.. he then said that they had a —falling out??, and that she was going to stay at his house and that they were going to —get their friendship back??. To which I replied, —That's nice??.
Roughly translated, I think what he was trying to say was, —this is who I want to be with, but you wait around in the wings for me and when she is unavailable, I??ll call you when it's your turn!??

TBH, My Cappy has never divulged any details of his —friendships?? with me, as I don't think he is the type to be able to maintain a platonic friendship without trying to get his —leg over??. I know for a fact that he is sleeping with this woman, and that I have been relegated to the —Subs Bench!?? So needless to say, I have been dodging his calls etc. I told him I was celibate in January and I haven't heard from him since then.

What makes it even worse, is that from the time he told me he and this woman were going to get —their friendship back??, I knew it was curtains for me. I still can't understand why he would tell me this (Caps, please answer!). What makes it worse is that he told me this fully expecting me to maintain my sexual relationship with him. I noted the times he called me after his revelation, and he was calling me once every 4 weeks on the dot! Thus making it obvious that he was only calling me to scratch his itch when his Lady of Choice was having her period!
He rang me last month for a —chat?? and it was obvious that he was looking for sex (remember, we don't contact each other unless that is the case.) I made it easy for him, and said —If you??re wondering whether I am

(sorry, part two of post, couldn't fit allin..)

He rang me last month for a —chat?? and it was obvious that he was looking for sex (remember, we don't contact each other unless that is the case.) I made it easy for him, and said —If you??re wondering whether I am still celibate, the answer??s yes??. He laughed and we had a pretty civil conversation, and that was that.
My question is, why would he feel the need to tell me about this —friendship— Surely he must have figured out why I have distanced myself from him.

I was worried I was harbouring jealousy feelings, but I think it's more that fact that my ego will not allow me to sleep with a man who WAS NOT INTO ME!

Feedback and (constructive) criticism gratefully received??_

It took your ego twelve years to show up??

He told you because, this "friendship" is just THAT serious. He is avoiding calling it what it really is as to hope you don't switch up and close the gates (i.e. your vagina) to him....but what this "friendship" really is is a relationship; one that is very very promising and could very well lead to marriage (he could very well be married or engaged already)... but he can't call it that, because you may never get over your celibacy issues then.

Thanks LadyM, this is just what I was looking for.. a fresh perspective. My ego has always been there, I think, but it's never been 'compromised'. I am pretty laid back, and will be the first to admit that I have made things easy for him over the years by setting a 'precedent' whereby he can show up in and out of my life whenever he feels like it..and being avaiaable to him (Shudders with shame!) Now I am positive what his only motivation is for contacting me, I have no qualms abbout cutting him out of my life, with no explanation whatsoever. Or is that too harsh?!

His ego/pride will not allow him to ask me why I won't have sex with him anymore, but if he does, I will tell him the reason: I did not want to be on standby for him, and I thought he should be where he wants to be and do what's right for him.

I'm a Lover not a Fighter and truly believe that we each have a responsibility to ourselves to get our needs met,I mean think about it, if everyone could be with who they wanted to be with, someone will always be left out in the cold...the problem no-one wants to be the one who is left out!! And that's where the problems begin.

My celibacy is a way of "regrouping", and my mind does feel sharper for it! Keep the comments coming!!

Thanks everyone for you feedback.
It's not that I am on my "high horse", like I said, I have made it easy for him over the years to come and go as he pleases, and I don't think for one minute that he "cheated" on me or "lied" to me..In fact, I gave him kudos for telling me about her in the first place, bearing in mind that he has NEVER told me about any girl before! I mean, I know he has a past and I am not so naive to think that when he was not with me, he was living the life of a Tibetan Monk!! He didn't say anything when I first told him I was celibate in Dec. 2008, so not sure why he's curious now..Me not sleeping with him with has zero impact on his life style .

But I will agree that I have been trying to be "zen" about the whole thing, I even told him "good for you" when he told me. I guess that was his licence to think he could still have his cake and eat it too. As time passes, I am quite happy with my decision to let him go..

Whilst reading the Aquarius message board searching for tips on how to mentally process this, I have noticed that a lot of people have a problem with Aquarius men being cold, detached and unavailable, and speaking as their female counterpart, I can totally understand where they are coming from. I have been told on several ocassions by male friends, that I 'think like a man' and while I am still trying to decide whether that's a good or bad thing, it does mean that I am able to mentally detach myself from a situation and look at it from all angles, which is why I have no problem with My Cap going back to his girl, I think my problem is that I am still angry with MYSELF for enabling him to believe that he could STILL sleep with me after he told me about her. (Damn that hindsight!) As Aquarians we will NEVER ask or even expect more from a person that they are unprepared to give, (time, emotion etc.) We are not ones for wearing our hearts on our sleeves, but that doesn't mean that we don't want or feel the same things as any other Sign.

Following everyone's comments above, I am now leaning towards not telling him the real reason why I have decided to stop sleeping with him, cos I think nothing can be gained from this & looking at the 'bigger picture' he didn't do anything wrong & he might believe I perceived the 'relationship' to be more than it was, which is so not the case. Me not sleeping with him anymore just means that I've taken myself out of the 'rotation', a gap I'm sure he could easily fill. I am just trying to

Thanks BlueLilac,

(My post got cut off before)

I am just trying to make it easy for everyone , i.e. Him going back to his girl and me moving on.. but you are right, I owe him nothing!!

Well, it's better late than never

Now it's time for self-awareness, celibacy and a little DXP (lol) could do the trick.

Good Luck

12 years!? That's some good sex it has to be for things to progress that far for that long...

Caps and Aquas are like water to oil

Time to change your number and get on with your life he certainly has and if you can help it avoid him in public as to not fall back into the fallback girl position

oil and water?

both ruled by saturn but Aquas unpredictable uranus will chase Cap man away with the unpredictable nature of this planet , friends yes, love not so much unless there are compatible signs in the birth chart and/or he can truly see beyond Aquas eccentricities fairly quickly it ain't happening longterm but if there is mutual respect (both can be loners, freedom loving, hate restrictions etc) and not so many differences in family upbringing, financial and social it can work, there has to be strong mutual ties for it to work

Also why are you enabling this dude to treat you like a human mattress?

Aquas (not all but a large quantity) tend to be emotionally lazy, maybe that's why so many women get frustrated with Aqua men, were committed to having freedom and giving freedom which invites mistreatment and can send a vibe that we don't care about ourselves

you have to watch how your laziness enable others to USE and take advantage of you, something I learned the hard way.

Posted by Shaks
(Forgive me while I self-indulge in naughtiness for a moment)

Man, that cap was a lucky SOB..12 years of sex with no strings attached!!! 😄


Continue with your serious discussion please..

ha ha ha I was thinking the same thing.

🙂 This man is a Cappy god!