Caps behavior is confusing...

I have known my Cap for 2 years. In December we started giving each other massages. It wasn't sexual, but for me it was quite erotic because this man has amazing hands! Anyway, he had been planning to find a home in another province and we were in contact at least once a week during the time that he was looking for said house. During that 3 months I found myself developing feelings for my Cap. When he finally moved and I found myself robbed of his companionship it was very painful. I took his leaving as a rejection. Anyway here is the confusing part...this man who had barely bought me more than a coffee and a muffin in 2 years... bought me a portable massage table for my birthday (3 weeks after he had moved) and shipped it a province away by Fedex. When I asked why he bought it he said that talent like mine should be encouraged. Oh, did I forget to mention he's not only a Cap, but a Scottish one to boot! Am I reading more into this gesture (like does he have legitimate feelings for me) Or should I take him @ his word?

We just like to see people happy and not miss out on their potential. Doing things for others and having it recieved well is the ultimate self-satisfaction and a positive form of flattery. When we have money we share it freely especially if the cause is worthwhile.

We recognize potential easily in others.
Ive also been told I have amazing hands by several. This is actually a cap trait.

Youre reading way too much into it but its understandable. The reason for his action was simple. He had planned to move already and long distance is not efficient to him. You are precious and innocent to him so he doesnt want to taint you or use you because hes not looking for long-term with you. He's exhibiting thoughtfulness to you and wants you to recognize the gentleman and nobility in him. He is obviously very fond of your inner-self because he expects you to understand and have his motives figured out. He is flattering you with his expectations. By him exhibiting confidence in you means he has given you the "cool" classification which is probably the most sincerest form of appreciation a cap can give. Remember he made the statement that he can confide in you etc?
You were robbed of companionship but not a firm relationship with intercourse. And thats just what ya'll had. He also took companionship away from himself. If you two were not an item then...?

By him setting you up for more success and giving you free equipment, he is saying that he respects you and is glad he met you. He would really like to see you honor his gesture by fulfilling his prediction.

He is possibly doing something else but I dont want to reveal it until more time goes by. If he is then he's just as good as I am🙂 Hope the feedback helps somewhat. I could just be crazy ya know?

Thanks SuperCap...again. I appreciate your insight. I didn't ever expect anything sexual to come out of my relationship with him, althought I admit I thought about it on numerous occasions. Mostly I was angry at myself for getting too emotionally attached. I have known the Cap long enough that he can behave in ways that send a message that he doesn't care about other ppl's feelings. Is this a normal way for Caps? I really don't care if I am "cool" to him. Guys are "cool" and I am not a guy. How am I supposed to have his motives figured out? I am not a f% king mind reader. Thanks again.

Yes we have problems signaling exactly who, what, when, where,and how we feel about anything. We might do it in privacy. I dance alot when Im alone. But I can dance at a club too. I like challenges if challenged.

Trust me..."cool" is whats up. I appreciate the many differences in females yes, but the one that can sit down and play Halo with me or at least be patient enough to learn, watch sports with genuine interest, doesnt nag me for ridiculous expectations, thinks Muhammad Ali is awesome, appreciates lyrical content, knows a few lines to Sugar Hill Gang,Nirvana, The Chronic etc., modest with alcohol intake or able to handle herself if she over-indulges, cool around your fellas but never flirty in your face, quick-witted with you or your fellas.....


The list goes on and Ive actually met someone like this before. If youve got decent looks then all the better but you could be a 6 with all of the above and I would kiss your feet.

If you ever get the "cool" label, then youre not just a girl anymore. Youre one of those that Im happy to chill with anywhere as well as be intimate with. Once your "coolness" spreads then not only will you receive less disrespect and less sexism, you will be well taken care of if you ever need anything because youre not just a girly girl with blinders on. You are true peeps. You have exhibited that you understand both sides of the fence and are therefore rare, precious, and on a higher echelon. I start off this way but if its not reciprocated or that head is "too thick" and laden with double standards and close-mindedness...then you arent close to cool. I dont care if youre Beyonce Knowles, if youre not cool then I will split up from you in stores, walk ahead of you, say "yep" or "I dont care" to lots of things etc. No need for mind reading just empathy. Even if your empathy is slightly off the thought will go a long way.

I do not mean cool as in peer-pressure. Im mean cool as in "youre my beginning, my end, youre my sister, lover, and friend." Starting your life from within, inside your beautiful skin." quote Cee Lo.

Any girl im with I want to be "cool" with. Thats a real connection for me and not just a thing Im putting up with because Im lonely for companionship.

A girl who is cool will always beat the barbie trophy wife P. Hilton clones. (Not saying you are one).

As a field test you can ask several of your guy friends if what Ive written you is "cool". Think....Sarah Conor

I really value your point of view SuperCap...I only wish I had sought it out sooner. Everything you say makes sense; it just seems though as I am wasting my time worrying about my friendship with him. I am starting to question if it's worth my time communicating with him. I have been praying a lot lately to let go of the friendship...and it's working. More than anything at this point I am looking for closure for this friendship, trying to find the strength within myself to let it go. While loyalty is a quality I do admire in my Cap, how much hurt do I have to accept from him before I decide that he doesn't deserve my friendship?

Im strict when it comes to this sort of thing. Screw me over deliberately without any regards for my well-being and Im done with you forever.
Accept no more hurt.
Many times guys or cap males have a hard time just simply being friends with a woman. I can pretend to but if I was attracted from the beginning then I cant switch that off unless I know for sure the female doesnt like me that way. If im attracted to you then that wont change unless you behave sub-human. Not to mention that a long distance friendship is sort of a "hit me up when you get the chance" type of ordeal. Its my opinion that the majority of guys dont like to simply hang with a girl that hes got the hots bad for. Therefore "she" is an acquaintance because I dont have room actually to develop, nurture,and time another new friendship that close. Plus it sends signals of inevitability. The more the both of you try to keep being BFF the closer you get to establishing something else deep and I dont think hes really looking for that in the near future. I think youre probably doing the right thing just take this as one persons opinion ok? 🙂

Hey SuperCap, I just wanted to say thanks again for all the insight. I am not trying to be too over-the-top with you in terms of my appreciation but May is a real bitch of a month for me (even without my Cap dilemma). Mothers'Day just happens to remind me that on May 31st it will be the anniversary of my mothers' death. Did you do something nice for your mom...if she has passed also, then I apologize for my insensitivity in advance. On a positive note, I am feeling much more peaceful about the Cap situation. Just out of curiousity...

"He is possibly doing something else but I dont want to reveal it until more time goes by." What did you mean by this?

I will send you a private message later on ok?

Don't bother supercap.