choices

so if you could choose, who you would spend the rest of your life with...would you choose a person who matched your life style for the most part, but left you unfullfilled physically, or would you choose a person who didn't match your life style for the most part, but knocked your socks off?

Pato that is one tough question! I could not do either but what I probably would do is....find a guy that I could go on adventures with and have tons of fun, I'd have another guy that enjoyed fixing things around the house, another one that enjoyed eating out at different restaurants, and then....the guy that would knock my socks off! Where is that guy any way? I have not met him yet.

Right now in my life this is what would work...minds are for changing so a bit down the road I could be on a completely different wave!

What would you choose pato?

i'd like to choose them both, yes. i don't know if it will work out that way. maybe i still have a chance to meet someone who will meet all my requirements. do ya think? ha. of course to get the freedom to do the thing one wants to do, we must give others the freedom to do what they want to do. we must give up on possesiveness and jealousy and just live each moment that the day gives us and hope for the best.

When you say physically Pato, I presume sexually......we are all sexual beings from the minute we get up in the morning till the minute we go to bed at nite...it's all about impulse, yearnings, desires - we can try to suppress these and pretend they are not there but they will continue to "pop" up - excuse the pun....it's like trying to stop your hair growing or holding back the tide...just not possible, in this world anyway!!!......if you haven't got "the hots" for the the person "who matches your life- style but doesn't fulfil you physically" now, I really don't think those "hots" are EVER going to appear and you will go looking elsewhere to somebody else to fulfil your needs and desires in that department....however the "socks-off" person is't going to give you the security that we all need to feel safe and grounded.....if I was you, I'd take a bit of both their worlds just for now.....be with both if you can do it!!!...but in the meantime go on the hunt for that one special guy out there, who possesses BOTH those qualities...they are hard to find but there certainly are one or two or maybe three:-)
Good luck.
A x

i'm in total agreement alana. i'm going to try to keep them both for as long as i can. why would i want to let them go. i really love them both very much. it is possible to love more then one person. i wouldn't want to hurt either of them though, but i must fulfill my needs. i need them as much as love them both, but in different ways. i never thought i'd end up like this, not that this is the end. at 49, yes 49, i'm learning to get what i need and not just serve men, and not feel guilty for it. not to say that this is easy. it's very difficult at times to not react to deeper emotions like jealousy, possessiveness. to not have expectations about how a relationship should be. being a capricorn, it's very difficult, because we are really posessive. and we want to appear to be doing the right thing. looking bad to others, scandals, don't sit right with us. i think that's why JT is so hurt (not to talk behind your back james), but i think den really embarrassed him with her actions. put him in the spotlight, so to speak, and as capricorns, that's really not a place we want to be in regards to something bad or personal. i really felt so bad for you james. i hope you are getting yourself back on your feet. so anyway, to open myself up for critisism is uncharacterisic of me. so that is why, you wonderful people here, on this board, are the only ones who know what's going on in my life. i've read so many interesting threads here.

and i've learned so much. i wish i could tell my friends about it, but then i wouldn't have anywhere to go to tell my story. to vent my frustrations. to give my opinions. to open myself up totally, and to try to help others. hell, it's cheaper then therapy. :-)
thank you all.

Good for you Pato and so well and capricorn-ishly said!! Of course it is possible to love two people at one time...in my world anyway and yours. 49!!!! Hey.....you are only a young whipper-snapper;;;; - keep out that whip and let those guys snap away!!!! And you are right....counsellors, therapists, pshchiatrists.....hell, who needs them—...just come to this board and each of us will use our own "talk you through it style " therapy to help each other out!!!

Have a double-good weekend with your two guys!!!:-)

A x

I jumped into this question pretty late, but, I'd have to choose the second. No brainer. You think it has anything to do with being 19?

hi josh...yes, maybe because you're 19 and those hormones are running at full speed, the second choice is what you would choose. when a bit older it's really companionship that makes life more enjoyable. sex looses it's priority. not that it isn't up there on the list. this is from a woman's point of view though and also it might be just mine. i still have both men in my life, but the one who knocks my socks off is just a friend now. if all you have is sex in a relationship, there is no where for it to go. it just won't work. it took a long time for me to realize sex is not love, because i'm a very physical person. if you learn that now josh, you'd be ahead of the game and be able to find a true love instead of a false love. thanks for popping in...i thought all the caps left the planet. hope everyone is doing well out there. i think it's been a pretty crazy '04 already. going through many changes myself. holding on for the ride.

So in the end does it come down to making the safer choice?
Or is it just a matter of what is more important to you?

Welcome DuesexMachine...wow, what a name! Are you a male or female? As to answer your question....what if the safer choice was important to you? Then, there is your answer?

I feel though sometimes we do not grow if we always choose the "safe" choice...Life involves risk and this is where we get out of the box to experience something "new" which some view as "risky" or "unsafe"....it is all relative really. Just my thougts but then again...I am an Aries and we live on risks...this is the only way for us to get to the top of the mountain....no other way.

Welcome DuesexMachine...wow, what a name! Are you a male or female? As to answer your question....what if the safer choice was important to you? Then, there is your answer?

I feel though sometimes we do not grow if we always choose the "safe" choice...Life involves risk and this is where we get out of the box to experience something "new" which some view as "risky" or "unsafe"....it is all relative really. Just my thougts but then again...I am an Aries and we live on risks...this is the only way for us to get to the top of the mountain....no other way.

By the way...you say "in the end" what exactly does that mean for you?"

In the end all that really matters is how you think of yourself. IMO 😉

duesexmachine :-) m or f? i think it's what's important to you at the moment.. if you're lucky enough to have a choice. in the end...i think it will always end up the safer choice. with someone who is dependable, loving, trustworthy, supportive, a good companion, and yet (one can only hope) sexy as hell. i mean, doesn't everyone truly not want to be alone at the end. we all compromise somewhere, don't we.

MMM, You're right Pato, I think in the end we'll choose companionship and familiarity over the other options.

And I am a female.

And actually it's Dues ex Machina, wich is Greek for machine of the gods. LOL, it just happens to look like the other thing.

Hi Dues ex Machina, you machine of the gods ! Well, I got an old fashioned streak, and I am thinking I need companionship and familiarity, but, I think I like becoming familiar with new stuff too ! I never act my age, and I do like variety, after all, I think there is an old saying that goes, "Variety is the Spice of Life" It is nice to see a new thought or two here. A few have been absent lately, and I think you will find some pretty wild stuff written here. Of course, I like the outrageous once and a while. I enjoy being one of the nuts who share some of the wild thoughts you have read through ! You seem pretty brave and educated. So, we are wondering (at least I am) what in blue blazes made you pick up the screen name, DuesexMachina ? Machine of the Gods sounds, . . . physical or educational and ongoing, am I even close —??

Hey R U here today, . . . gone foreever ?

duesexmachina...are u a capricorn?

lol, sorry about that, I've got a hectic schedule right now.

I'm a Leo, but with a Capricorn rising though. . .

I don't know Polaris, I do try and enjoy the spice of life myself, but then there are those times when I get complaints that I'm "too spontanious" and that makes me unreliable? I just like to enjoy the fine details and expand my point of view! Oh well. . . I think my significant other would like more security than I allow him in this odd gender roll twist, lol.

Hey Macheena, you definitely have a great sense of humor, quite educated, and I wonder, . . . when was the last time you really let go — What are you in charge of, besides your life — Come on, dont be shy. . .