curse and blessing regarding caps and i

i'm a leo-virgo cusp female and i don't often get to meet caps. when i do they are usually males. they are also always in a relationship with someone else.

the blessing is that we ALWAYS become close. they rock my world and i learn a great deal from them. they are the sweetest to me out of everyone i encounter. they treat me with the utmost respect and sort of... treasure me if u will. it always feels like they try to protect me from the evils of the world or something.

the curse is the blessing. we get close. too close. lines of friendship become blurred and there's an obvious chemistry. i am no man stealer. i am no home wrecker. i never harbor hidden agendas or ulterior motives. the attraction is magnetic and we often lose ourselves in the moments we spend with each other. never has heavy petting or sex taken place but the touching can cross the line. trying to resist each other becomes almost unbearable at times.

a month ago i had to let go of a dear cap friend because of this. things became extremely complicated and overwhelming. i cut it off because it got to a point that we couldn't express anything to each other. we could barely talk about anything deep anymore. he and i had a minor falling out over the winter months. we gradually began to resume the friendship and one night in june i asked him what he thought of me after what happened. i wanted to know if he still thought as highly of me as he did before the falling out. he completely flipped out on me, stated he had a gf, and acted like he didn't know what i was talking about when referring to our fall out. it was too much for me. it was a clear sign that we couldn't be friends anymore. i hated it but i let him go to once again simplify things. he was used to an uncomplicated life and i challenged him. too much probably to the point of being uncomfortable. i love him and i miss him but i don't regret a thing!

now there's a new cap in my life. i'm taking very cautious steps with this one. he's married with 2 kids. we, of course, hit it off in a major way. we talk to each other constantly. i have been my usual loving self but i have been up front with him about who i am. i mean no harm. what's different about him is that he is very expressive towards me. he never had the cap wall to break down. at least, maybe it wasn't a thick wall. paper thin. he tells me how much he appreciates me and how grateful and thankful he is to know me. i'm taken aback. what do u think?

btw, the first cap i mentioned had a fortress of a wall. he didn't get close to me til about a year after knowing me. the 2nd one i only hung out with twice in a 1 month period before he opened his emotional flood gates.

To him the above probably meant just that you were too much of a drama queen for him to handle, what you call being challenged he probably calls making a huge deal out of things.

That's an interesting way of putting it. I've got to remember that.

Earth signs tend to prefer simplicity to drama.

They do have the ability to slice through the BS and get to the heart of the matter.

I think you should leave a married man with 2 kids alone, establish boundaries

heh, ur right. i wasn't dramatic at first but it was brought out of me when i became frustrated that we couldn't talk to each other on a deeper level anymore. i don't chit-chat and he knows that. i like meaningful conversation and i wanted us to be straight-up with each other. i don't like feeling like i have to walk on egg shells with a supposed friend.

oh, heh, shaks, i probably should have explained more with the new cap. we're in a close working relationship with each other. i manage the band he's in. we talk a lot due to this but we've also become good friends. that's why i have to be careful. also, the touching part with this cap hasn't occurred but i fear it might if he drinks. we all become a little more uninhibited and he's drunk texted/emailed me before saying things that's left me to wonder.

in the end, with all of these guys, i think i learned that i just need to be as direct as possible. call 'em out and get it over with. right? riiiight. thx guys!