He loves me, he loves me not?

Okay, so I'm moving to another state just for a while. My Cap and I maintained a "fwb" type relationship and a close bond after breaking up back in February. Um when I told him I was moving he broke down and told me how much he loved me and how much he would miss me and what not, it's hard for both of us obviously. Every time I would see him he would always talk about our relationship like what if we did this, would it work? what if we that? What if this had happened, would things turn out differently etc. He told me to maintain communication with him when I'm gone which I will...(by the way I'm leaving tomorrow)...and after we had our close emotional moments of tears and what not he went very COLD, and I mean C.O.L.D he wouldn't smile or say he love me or nothing...I told him about 4 days before i was leaving as it happened unexpectedly sooner and he was like "Ok, bye" that's ALL i got...i kept waiting for him to say he loves me or something and i told him he was the love of my life and i will never forget him or love anyone the way I loved him but he said "well at least I know someone loves me..." literally that's what he said. I asked him if that was all and he was like "Safe travels" that's all....I have never ever seen him this over me or disconnected or something 😢 I'm crushed and torn apart, heartbroken is an understatement.

Yup, Caps can emotionally switch off super quick. I think the breaking down that you witnessed was real, but that was probably just him spilling out all is emotions at once. Now he's turned cold because he quickly came to terms with the fact that you're leaving.

He broke up with me though. He did the breaking up...

Posted by LoversInLove3
He opened up and showed you his heart.

He's heartbroken.

We don't beat a dead horse, so don't expect him to keep begging, pleading, and professing his love for you when you've made it clear there's no chance and, presumably, shot down all of his "what if?'s".

He's already made himself vulnerable (blue moon experience), and you telling him he's "the love of your life" and you'll "never love anyone like you loved him" probably seems feigned to him.

He's protecting himself and you need to respect that; if you don't want the coldness, the ball is in your court but I wouldn't count on bringing that "wall" he's got up now down easily. It's now a major uphill climb.

Do what makes you happy, but don't expect his emotions to be there as a fall back when you feel uneasy. We're not exactly sympathetic to a catalyst of our emotional pain.

Good luck, and I hope you both recover quickly. Maybe eventually you'll be caring friends with the pain of the relationship ending waning to a very distant dull feeling.

he broke up with me...I didn't

Posted by xxoommmxxoo
Maybe you hurt him and thats why he broke up with you. Ill never break up with someone without a lot of thought.

maybe I hurt him by loving him too much and actually caring

Thanks for the advice guys!!! I appreciate it. Yep I feel like I was emotionally used by him, but yeah whatever. Things would be much better if he didn't keep putting up his wall and taking it down again...if its down leave it down...no need to hide from it or from me. I've seen u at your vulnerable so him trying to guarded and independent just comes off as fake and leaves me wondering if there's mpre under the coldness or if to just take everything literally as it comes.

"i kept waiting for him to say he loves me or something and i told him he was the love of my life and i will never forget him or love anyone the way I loved him but he said "well at least I know someone loves me..." literally that's what he said. I asked him if that was all and he was like "Safe travels" that's all....I have never ever seen him this over me or disconnected or something I'm crushed and torn apart, heartbroken is an understatement."

If he told you all that would it change anything? You'd still be leaving.

No, it wouldn't change anything....

Posted by PerfectlyVirgo
No, it wouldn't change anything....

I don't mean this rudely, but if it wouldn't change anything what would be the point in him telling you all that. Maybe to boost your ego? It would just be too embarrassing of him to say all that knowing it wouldn't change the fact you're leaving.