How should I handle this?

I posted this on the pisces board too...sorry its so long. Thanks for reading through it....

I've been with this guy for 6 month. Its been really intense and we moved very fast, meaning after he got out of a dumb living situation with a crazy roomate, he moved in with me.

Now in the beginning we had some problems because he was doing meth. After we seriously talked about it one day, he promised me he would stop...nothing is worth losing me, I make him be a better person etc. I do believe he stopped because he wasnt as paranoid, his skin was looking better and he just looked healthier altogether.

So everything was fine, we totally connect, we can talk about everything, we're comfortable around eachother, we have the same interests etc. I feel like I'm the most important thing in his life.
We go camping, hiking, dinner, to the movies etc.

Now he still has moodswings. I think he is super sensetive and very emotional. Me being a cap girl, not so much. I've learned to keep my emotions in check. Lately we've been having issues when it comes to sex....blushing here.... he wants it all the time and I don't. Apparaently it is very important to him. It happened a few times that he packed his stuff and left and then wouldnt answer the phone, but I was always able to find him and talk sense back into him. I guess he got his feelings hurt because I turned him down for sex and he had to get out and cool down.

About 3 days ago we were cooking dinner, everything was fine, he was telling me how I am the best friend he has ever had, he is in this relationship for the longrun, he loves to wake up next to me, he hopes he will never have to be without me ever again etc. That night, i sleep like a rock btw, he wanted some and I guess i guess I pushed him away. I hardly even remember. Then he went on the couch for a while. When I woke up again he was next to me cuddeling. When I got up, he did act a little weird, said he was tired. but then said to hang out with him and cuddle some more. he would walk the dog for me. Said he loved me so much it hurt. When I left for work he told me to give him a call after work, normal stuff.

When i got home, all his crap was gone, my key on the table...no note, no phone call.....I tried calling and left a message (his phone was turned off). I found some crumbled up porn DVDs in the trash and he left his tequilla and his 2 bikes behind

So now this is the 3. day and I'm hurting!!! The more I think about it, the dumber it sounds. I do love him I do want him back, but I dont know the right way to go about it. I don't even know if he would even come back, maybe hes now tired of me. But how can he say all those things the day before he packs up and leave without a word? Is he just pouting? I cant keep chasing him all the time, can I?
what to do, what to do? 😢

Hi There!!!

I'm sorry I messed this! I'm so sorry this happened you 😢 But ...

Now he still has moodswings. I think he is super sensetive and very emotional. Me being a cap girl, not so much. I've learned to keep my emotions in check. Lately we've been having issues when it comes to sex....blushing here.... he wants it all the time and I don't. Apparaently it is very important to him. It happened a few times that he packed his stuff and left and then wouldnt answer the phone, but I was always able to find him and talk sense back into him. I guess he got his feelings hurt because I turned him down for sex and he had to get out and cool down.

Are you serious—? Okay, this is the thing I had to learn (but it took me a while) but most capricorn women go about love relationships this way -- I've noticed the trend. We believe that if we give a man everything they want from us, this will make them stay and nver leave -- which isn't true. We have a tendency to attract men that like to take advantage because of what we project when we like/ attracted to someone -- the whole, 'I will take care of you' ideal.

Of course men fall for this because many (especially certain signs), like to be pampered and mothered by women -- it's like an Oedeipus complex. Now, after cappy women stop catering to the men and actaully want a real, 50/50 rlationship -- this is when the guy wants to protest.

After he sees that things will not be the same, he then wants to split and leave you with nothing but memories -- those kind of men are dicks and they mean women absolutely no good from the start. This sort of thing has happened to me and I felt like a complete idiot and I felt used.

The white flag in the relationship was when he acted like a bitch when you didn't feel like screwing him -- that bit of attitude he gave you should've been an indication that he was an SOB ... but you were in love with him (you thought) and that blinded you quite a bit.

Believe me, I know!

No, you shouldn't chase after him -- no woman should ever aggrasivelychase after a man, why? Because she has better things to do -- like better her life and set her standards higher so she can spot the wrong guys and not make the same mistakes twice.

Drop another message and let us know how you are doing, okay? That damn pisces, I hope his prostate falls out!


Sorry know other caps responded to your post 😢

Thanks for your comments guys.

The problem is, i do believe he is worth it. i know he is an emotional wreck, drugs or no drugs. He has issues with insecurity and yes, a lot of times he thinks that i dont really want to be with him, but I'm just too nice to say so.

He had called saturday and we talked. Thats what we did all weekend. he admitted to haveng a problem with drugs and some other bad habits and he felt it would be best if he left town for a while and worked up in L. A.. so he could get his life back in order. All this time he said that he does not want to leave me, that he loves me more than anything, that we would call every day and come down every weekend. that he would never be too tired to make the drive and to call him if I ever felt alone and sad. He said he would drop everything and be on his way if I ever started to feel depressed. He made plans for his future, with me in it. I believe he meant it. I know he had a hard time leaving, he wasnt sure all along that he should and I'm sure i could have stopped him, but I felt he does need to go and streighten out. He left a bunch of his things at my house, so he would have them for the weekend. I actually felt a lot better when he left, because we had talked it all out and he said he wanted me with him

So this morning I got a text message saying hes sorry, he couldnt sleep all night thinking about the arrangement we made, he didnt think it could work.

So now i'm back to square one. I'm thinking because of his insecurties, and being a lone in a new palce, hes probably freaking out. So other than letting him know I'll be there for him if he needs me, what can I really do? Its breaking my heart.

I know I'm just trying to focus on the bad stuff. But this guy has been so good to me in every other thing. He pays attention, he opens my car door EVERY time, he paid half my rent while he was with me, he cooked and cleaned and fixed things. made me feel like the most important thing in his life, was affectionate and he understands me so well its spooky. I feel great around him because he gives me so much more confidence.

I dont know...well, I kow I'm so confused and I know he is too.

Also if he wasnt sure about us, he could've said so. i ask him and I basically gave him the easy way out. I was the one with doubts and HE made sure that I didnt have anything to worry about.

"I think if the guy has a meth problem, he needs to shake that monkey off his back before he can be with you. You can't save him or help him with his addiction if he can't help himself, if his addiction is more important that his relationship with you."

Yeppers! I agree ... however -- if you are strong enough to be his friend instead of his lover then I think that would be better. The guy obviously needs alittle guidance. But, if it gets to the point where all of his stuff starts bring you down, then leave him alone completely

you're sooooo right cappysweetie. I'm no quitter and that could be a problem. If I love someone, I will go to all lengths and put that person first. I refuse to believe that he lied about all he said. i dont think he did, I think hes scared and confused and he doesnt know what to do. So he freaks out and wants out because hes frustrated. I've had outbursts like that.

So since I cant do anything...and I hate being helpless....I will leave him a message later offering my friendship, thats all I can do. I do love him and I do want to help him but I cant force him.

See I asked him yesterday if he still wanted to be exclusive and he was very firm when he said that he would hope so. Also when I said that I wish he could figure things out staying in SD, his head popped up in surprise and he asked if I really meant that or if I just said that to make him feel better. And that was an honest reaction.

Anyways, things happen for a reason and I have to believe they will work out for the better. I am a strong person..damn it! LOL

thanks to all you guys for your advice. it helps and makes me feel better :-)