In denial?

Hi,
I have been a reader of this forum for quite sometime, but I felt finally the need to write. I have been seeing this Capricorn for the last year. It has been a long distance relationship, where I would visit for several months at a time then return home. I returned this last time home with the impression that I was coming back the next time for good. We have talked marriage(actually he has done most of the talking). He has even gone as far as plan our children's names.

This past week however, I felt that something wasn't right. He called me drunk at 4 in the am, and said something to the effect of "I don't think you're the one for me", and that "everyone has someone but me". OUCH right? He had spoken to me a few hours before and everything had been fine. I tried and tried to call him the next day, but no response.When I finally managed to get him on the phone he simply said "we were fine, and that he had an emotional day" He had pretty much been doing a disappearing act all week. Typical Capricorn behavior from what I've read on here.

After the comment, I couldn't let it go. I was hurt. So I called him 2 days after all this happened, and basically broke up with him. I told him to find the girl he thought was right for him. At the time, I was acting out in an immature and shallow manor. I should have said that I was hurt, but rather I acted childish. I soon realized that I didn't mean it. I began calling and calling, he of course wouldn't answer. A week went by with this happening. When I finally would manage to get him on the phone he would say things like "I'm pushing him away". I sent him countless texts about how I was wrong, and how I was just angry, and that he was the love of my life. The only thing he really said in response was that the break up had him thinking and that "if he really did care about me I would be there with him and not back home where I am now" He also told me that he had never loved me, and we actually argued about him telling me countless times. He somehow just managed to forget that he had said over and over that he was "in love with me".

Tonight I finally managed to get him on the phone. He simply said "stop calling me I have found someone else", and hung up. I ofcourse being the complusive type called back, to find a woman answer. She then went on the inform me that she was his new girlfriend. I asked how long they had been dating for the purpose of closure, and oddly she turned to him, and had to ask him how

long they had in fact been dating, which I found very strange. I would think one would know that. 2 weeks I was told, after he told her. I basically am wondering if this is typical Cap behavior, or if I just need to write him off and move on. I think Im still in the denial phase that perhaps it was a female friend, or maybe his sister. I did calmly manage to tell the girl that I was fairly sure he was bipolar, and that he had cheated on me before, and that he would do it to her in time as well. I told her I didn't want this to effect their future relationship, but that I thought she should know what she was getting herself into woman to woman. She politely said "thank you", and hung up. He has been known for playing mind games. My gut tells me its over, but Im still hanging onto that silly little hope of what we had. I just don't understand how something so solid could turn to nothing in less than a week!? I know he is very sensitive and that he is hurt rather easily, and need constant reassurance. Am I wrong to think there is still a chance in the future, and that if I do not contact him that he will come back around? Or am I completely delusional?

I know its much easier to say than do when you are in love, and I wish I could let it go, but I find myself still clinging to hope.

To make things a bit stranger, about 15 mintues after th call he logged onto my myspace account. I have a tracker.

Any thoughts on this matter? Thank you in advance, and thanks for bothering to read this. I really do believe that he is the one for me.

I guess I am just substituting hope for reason. We have had fights before, and broken up several times, but nothing has ever stuck. I was reading that Caps can become mean when burned, and I just wonder if he's lashing out at me for breaking up with him in the first place. I realize the error in my ways now, after the fact, that I should have just voiced my feelings. To make matters worse I called a million times thinking I could talk to him before he was ready. I don't know if he's truely biploar....I don't have a medical degree, but I do know he has severe mood swings. Regardless I still love him. 😢

Thanks for the advice.

Don't make excuses for him that is what women do best.

You can't force something that was not meant to happen... so close the door on this chapter and move on. Live your own life and forget about this jerk, you deserve better.

LOL and stop calling him, it's only going to make matters worse.

If he says he has a gf take it for what it is... the truth, he has a girlfriend.

You can NOT force things, and you constantly calling is the "forcing" part. Just let it go, it would be better that way anyway, because if he really loved you as YOU believed than he will come back to you.

LOL and I don't think you can argue with someone and tell them how they felt... words are just words, saying I love you doesn't mean you mean it.

Good luck sweetie.

What's your sign btw?

I am a Leo. Actually the part about him coming back is true. After a fight before he said that "I hadn't lost him, and if I had than he in fact never had loved me to begin with"

I guess it's just hard he played on the whole marriage, babies, and white picket fence scheme.

I still can't get over the feeling that I pushed him into her arms, by calling so much. I would almost go into panic attacks when he wouldn't answer sensing something was off....so I'd call a million times making things a lot worse. If only I'd spent more time reading on this site perhaps I'd realize that he was simply doing his own thing. This site has helped me learn a great deal about his typical Cap behavior.


He had a huge wall up for the longest time, and it took me for EVER to get inside. Then it seems that when I finally managed to, I hurt him so badly this last time that he went running for the hills.

I never really argued with him as to how he felt but rather with the words he said. I wish I had a tape recorder to recorded the million times he'd tell me. It was suddendly as POOF it had never happened at all. The words had never come out of his mouth!

bipolar? wow now i think my cap has a mental illness.. borderline personality disorder, bipolar, whatever. he did something slighty similar, but not as bad as this, and no third person. not just once. i'm starting to think that he's mentally ill. hmmmmmm . . .

Just thought I'd add to what's been going on. This weekend he sent me a million and 1 texts about how he was "confused, didn't know what he was doing, and just wished I was there, and how much he missed me" I was also told that he hadn't been seeing her 2 weeks, only 5 days. He spent all Saturday night texting, about how he didn't think it was going to work out between them....


Monday rolls around, and he's calls me in a panic about how he thinks he might have lost his job. Why not just call his new girlfriend? I mean that's no longer in my job descripition, emotional support.