Read At Your Own Risk

Calling all Capricorns, I desperately need your input. It is for a friend of mine, actually, definitely NOT me. The friend just happens to be named Josh, too. But that's not important. Not important at all. What is important is that this Josh cannot seem to keep his interest in one girl for longer than two or three weeks! It has gotten to be an alarming routine, in that at first he is practically blinded by the lightning bolt of beauty, but as soon as he's made out with the girl once, the interest usually stops. This has happened twice- not, of course, that this Josh is me. It's just a coincidence that the same thing that happened with his first girlfriend, a wild Sag throwing baggage everywhere, and that he thought he was in love with a Virgo when the above occured after less than a month of dating, and that a demanding Taurus, who was in the picture between the other two, also suffered the same fate but magnified by ten due to the fact that she invited me--HIM, invited HIM-- to spend the night in her family's cabin b/c she was moving away soon, and all was blown sky high by my turning the invitation down and then her parents discovering this invite after the fact and threatening me with my life if I ever set foot on their property again.

This Josh's real-life friends told him to give it up and stay single after the first girlfriend, and are currently beating their heads against the wall because of their friend's persistent idiocy in the world of dating. What I would like to know, though, is if there is something wrong with me (him!)? Should I (he! he!) see a mechanic? Is there a faulty wiring somewhere that stops me from holding interest in a girl at least until she takes her clothes off? I've been told I've got Dating ADD. I've also got one last bold idea in the world of dating that, should it work, no more feelings on either's behalf should get hurt. After all, three bunk relationships out of three in a year is a pretty sorry record. I am thinking of asking a friend's older sister (20-21-ish) on a date and I've made up a system of "morals" for dating that's really no more than a set of time limits that might help me to at least keep something alive for more than two months. I'm hoping for at least a six-month relationship.

First, the dates, which will be almost the same as just friends. I'll try to keep it this way for 2 weeks or longer, until I get to know this girl better, see if she really is as fun to be with as I fancy. There will be no kissing until the 2 or 3 week mark, or else I'm imagining another fiasco ending in a month-long bad relationship.

Second, after a month or so of consistent being-togetherness and testing limits, I'll ask her out.

Third, no sexual activity shall occur at a point less than three months into the relationship and, regardless of how little I think I care about it, I will not lose my virginity until I've been going out with anybody for six months at least, and things will have to be going good.

That should bar any trouble, wouldn't you say? And it would be with an older girl, so I'm hoping to run into different issues than with the two younger girls I've dated and the Sag who was a month older than me. I still need input, though, for my friend Josh! =P

Thank you all!

Sincerely,
Treetrunked Up

Alright, I really know I shouldn't be making a reply after making a post this long, but I should let you know that what I hope most in this new girl is quite simply a chance to do something and not feel like an arsehole. There's simply nothing worse than a hole in a Scottsman's donkey. I don't even know if the faults were entirely mine, friends have told me they aren't, but it feels like it should be for breaking three hearts in a row, even if two of them broke mine in the past. Maybe it's just that I have a very bad habit of keeping things to myself until it's too late and I absolutely have to confront someone about my sudden lack of feeling or...*ahem*...anything else. I almost wish I could go back to just over a year ago, when no liked me so I could be infatuated with and pursue as many girls as I could.

Wow. Ok. Considering.. we're to date as "experience" on the road to getting married, settling down and enjoying life as a team... The statistics are going to be roughly: Date a 100 people, Marry 1. (If it makes you feel any better, I've already botched up my average..)

It's natural to be attracted by looks, at least initially.
It's understandable to want intimate encounters. Perhaps you're not finding the mental connection you need as well, with these people.

The more you date, the better you realize what you're truly looking for. And it changes over time. (Refines itself, I should say.) I envy the people who found what they wanted the first time. But I think that's rare. I've learned something from everyone I ever dated, whether I appreciated it at the time or not. (Some lessons were harder than others.) The short version here is relax. Try not to project something you're not, don't promise things you do not feel, and don't stay in something that doesn't make you feel better about yourself and the one you're with.

You really do have lots of time.