What happened?

This is about a friend of mine..known him for years now..hes liked me ever since we met six years ago, I dont think he's ever thought of me as just a friend..but we have remained that way. He's always flirting with me, always telling me he misses me and is depressed when I'm not around him or when he doesnt speak to me, always talking about how he's never felt the same way about any one before me, always talking about how he wants to be with me..and most importantly how he can see himself with me in his future in terms of marriage..

Here's the situation though :
The last time he called me was in march (six months ago), that last week he called me almost every other day. After that last conversation i left it two weeks before calling him.. when I did i could not get through his phone line was totally disconnected or dead..and it still is now (hes had this phone line for four years now). Thinking this was temporary I left him a facebook message saying " hi how are you? whats up? is everything ok?".

Following this I did a little bit of investigating and asked my friend to call up his work and find out if hes there..when she did his work colleague said "hes no longer with us". It appeared he also left his job after two years.

Therefore iin march/april time it appeared his phone line was disconnected..and he also left his job..neither of which I had any clue about or could be explained.

He finally replied to my facebook message in June and he said " im so sorry about the lack of contact iv just had a really tough time lately ill call u soon i promise xxx"
Following this He left facebook..like completely deactivated it so i had no chance to ask questions or reply.

In august I replied to his "tough time" message and i said "its fine u do what you have to do and i am sorry to hear things are not going so well..i look frwrd to hearing from u "

He then facebooked me again..three weeks after my last message and simply sent me two smiley emoticons...in succession like and 🙂 AND 🙂

Apart from the fact hes telling me hes had a bad time and tht he isnt at his old workplace anymore..and his number tht i had for years seems to be out of order I have no clue whats actually happened, as he hasnt been specific enough.

What I dont understand is why can he not call me and simply clear this up? Yet he can facebook message me.

Sounds to me like he's on the run or got hitched and doesn't want to tell you

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Sounds to me like he's on the run or got hitched and doesn't want to tell you

on the run from what or who?

I dont think he would get married in the space of a couple of months lol..given that hes just left his job...

Why can't you work out what happened after all this time. He's not your friend, he is a man who has shown clear and transparent interest in you romantically for a long time. He spent nearly 3 years chasing after you and putting it all on the line, during which time your ego enjoyed the chase but didn't give him a chance, then when he started to step away from you last year you started contacting him in order to make him chase you again - but all the while you knew the outcome would be the same, he wouldn't be allowed to catch you. It seems to me he has finally cottoned on to the game and has realised that the only way to step away for good is to give you no real methods of contacting him again.

Posted by celticlioness
Why can't you work out what happened after all this time. He's not your friend, he is a man who has shown clear and transparent interest in you romantically for a long time. He spent nearly 3 years chasing after you and putting it all on the line, during which time your ego enjoyed the chase but didn't give him a chance, then when he started to step away from you last year you started contacting him in order to make him chase you again - but all the while you knew the outcome would be the same, he wouldn't be allowed to catch you. It seems to me he has finally cottoned on to the game and has realised that the only way to step away for good is to give you no real methods of contacting him again.

ok if that what you think..anything is a possibility right now

I think he realized you weren't ever going to be interested in marrying him and he's cut ties and moved on. A capricorn can EASILY cut ties when we need to. I know it makes us appear cold, but once we realize it's not going to work or we realize the other person doesn't feel the same way, we move on. It's easier sometimes to just walk away when you have emotions for someone else and the feelings aren't returned. When we're done, we're done. We can remain on friendly terms, but we will eventually fade away.

Or maybe the mafia is after him.

Maybe he's in the CIA and had to change his alter-ego.

Maybe he's a superhero who's been found out.

Maybe some woman is chasing him with a paternity suit.

Maybe he's avoiding law enforcement.

Maybe he's embezzled money from his company and is on the run.


Yeah, lots of possibilities.

Sorry. Couldn't resist.
What is your gut instinct telling you?

Posted by truecap
Or maybe the mafia is after him.

Maybe he's in the CIA and had to change his alter-ego.

Maybe he's a superhero who's been found out.

Maybe some woman is chasing him with a paternity suit.

Maybe he's avoiding law enforcement.

Maybe he's embezzled money from his company and is on the run.


Yeah, lots of possibilities.

LOL love this list.

Posted by beautifulsoul74
Sounds to me like he's on the run or got hitched and doesn't want to tell you

he took his band too, and went on the run....

Posted by truecap
I think he realized you weren't ever going to be interested in marrying him and he's cut ties and moved on. A capricorn can EASILY cut ties when we need to. I know it makes us appear cold, but once we realize it's not going to work or we realize the other person doesn't feel the same way, we move on. It's easier sometimes to just walk away when you have emotions for someone else and the feelings aren't returned. When we're done, we're done. We can remain on friendly terms, but we will eventually fade away.

yes unbelievably cold...his messages however on facebook are not that cold. i.e the ill call u soon and sorry etc.. and then the big smiley faces.

Posted by truecap
Sorry. Couldn't resist.
What is your gut instinct telling you?

LOL my gut instinct is telling me that your funny list of possibilities are still more likely than him having moved on from me..I dont think even once since the beginning that i'v thought of that.

At the start my first reaction was hes in trouble with the law or something..then tht went on to maybe hes depressed and something big happened in his family..as is disappearance came in conjunction with him leaving his job and disconnecting his phone line..which in my opinion is no coincidence.

I just want him to tell me what actually has happened though.

Maybe he got fired and couldn't afford the phone bill anymore. —? That is a big possibility. And since we identify ourselves with our occupation, we can't pursue anything else until we get our career straightened out. That becomes a priority.

Just be patient and when he gets things straightened out, he will probably be back in contact.

Whatever happens, caps usually land on their feet.

Posted by truecap
Maybe he got fired and couldn't afford the phone bill anymore. —? That is a big possibility. And since we identify ourselves with our occupation, we can't pursue anything else until we get our career straightened out. That becomes a priority.

Just be patient and when he gets things straightened out, he will probably be back in contact.

Whatever happens, caps usually land on their feet.

ye his career is massively important to him so if something happens to ruin tht he will be nothing but depressed over it im sure. All he would ever talk about was me and him..us gettin married..his work/career..saving to buy a house and moving away

I just wish he would just let me know properly whts happened.

It has been six months..but I guess its not long enough

Posted by truecap
Maybe he got fired and couldn't afford the phone bill anymore. —? That is a big possibility. And since we identify ourselves with our occupation, we can't pursue anything else until we get our career straightened out. That becomes a priority.

Just be patient and when he gets things straightened out, he will probably be back in contact.

Whatever happens, caps usually land on their feet.

forgot to mention this b4 but the last time he messaged with the two smiley faces 🙂 🙂 on facebook..he did it from a "Mobile". It was obviously not the number hes had for four years though..some other number it must b. :/

Posted by candy10


What I dont understand is why can he not call me and simply clear this up?

Because he is a Capricorn? 🙂 🙂

Posted by Serginho

Posted by candy10


What I dont understand is why can he not call me and simply clear this up?

Because he is a Capricorn? 🙂 🙂

click to expand

u capricorns are mean lol
so explain the two smiley faces please 🙂 🙂
you can't just wanna marry someone and be with someone for all years...and hv strong feelings and then when something goes wrong just disappear for six months and not explain..

Posted by candy10

Posted by Serginho

Posted by candy10


What I dont understand is why can he not call me and simply clear this up?

Because he is a Capricorn? 🙂 🙂

u capricorns are mean lol
so explain the two smiley faces please 🙂 🙂
you can't just wanna marry someone and be with someone for all years...and hv strong feelings and then when something goes wrong just disappear for six months and not explain..

click to expand

Translation: I am okay, good to hear you still think of me and I will explain later. 😉

Posted by TigerCap

Posted by candy10

Posted by Serginho

Posted by candy10


What I dont understand is why can he not call me and simply clear this up?

Because he is a Capricorn? 🙂 🙂

u capricorns are mean lol
so explain the two smiley faces please 🙂 🙂
you can't just wanna marry someone and be with someone for all years...and hv strong feelings and then when something goes wrong just disappear for six months and not explain..

Translation: I am okay, good to hear you still think of me and I will explain later. 😉

click to expand

thanks 😄.. and how long should i be waiting for this explanation?

its been six months already...and three months since he told me he would call "soon"

so u dnt think he's just being nice and randomly sending smilies? so there is meaning to it?

Six months—??

Sorry to say this, but I think he's trying to fade away. He says he will call soon, but hasn't yet. I don't want to hurt your feelings, but I think he's just telling you what you want to hear.

You've been complaining about him since at least the beginning of the year. I reviewed your previous threads. My suggestion is forget about him and quit spending so much energy on this. In February, you said he was with another girl. In May you complained that you hadn't heard from him in six months.

I don't think he's into you.

😢

Sorry.

so...an update!!!
NINE MONTHS LATER..AND HE CAME BACK IN TO CONTACT from a different number!!!

first thing he messaged was hi..want to meet me for dinner somewhere? apparently he asked my friend first if it would be ok..and she said to him " u did disappear for quite some time and anyone would be annoyed at that"...
I called him after that message..and the first things he said was he really missed me and he's sorry he acted that way and that he will make it up to me..

I admit though I definitely didn't agree to meeting him for at least two weeks following..so i didnt really make it easy on him AT ALL...and then when i did eventually say ok fine..he snapped at me after and said he didn't expect this from me and said he was sorry for coming back in to my life and basically threatened to exit again a couple of times but it got resolved..He also said he really really likes me and asked me why i dont let him come close to me and that i always manage to push him away :/ and tht all he wanted was to take me out...I know i shouldnt have acted the way I did but it was just a surprise him coming back in the first place...and secondly I didnt want to be agree to exactly what he wanted nine months after an enormous amount of confusion and frustration..

But anyway a couple of weeks after..he's now less persistent and isn't really calling me or bothering to reply to my texts properly..im assuming its because of the way i'v been acting?
And possibly because the day that we agreed to meet passed..and neither of us actually said anything about it...and maybe he was expcting me to? and didnt want to be pushed aside again..

What do I do now, in order to get him to be more responsive again?!!!!

I'd say he came onto you because you left him alone for some time. That drew him in but you being persistent is making him back off?? I mean you should just try and make things seem casual and maybe go on a date but keep it casual and act like you're not commited to or worried wether or not he's there