WOW-- this is unbelievable!

Hi Girls,

I just happened upon this site, and have been posting on Bridget Walthers, formerly AstroAbby, message board about Cap. men. I myself am a Cap. (female) through and though-- w/ Cap. merc and Cap. venus.

I do not want to even begin to tell you my 9 month-long off and on again deal with a Cap. guy (28 yrs. old) but WILL tell you that it is EXACTLY similar to Greeneyes, GemGem, PeachCow, etc., etc.

Ladies-- I am not criticizing really, but in reading and seeing your months of drama and ups and downs, it helps me reconfirm what I already know to be true. There is rarely a happy ended with these Cap. men. I have read and/or corresponded with at least a dozen different women involved in these same type of relationships, coincidentally all with Cap. men. I see that Oceanwanderer has a good handle on things and has pulled herself out of a past situation/obsession with a Cap. male, and AM (Mystic) seems to have a nice outlook on squashing things with these guys.

Girls, please listen-- you may have felt an initial connect with these guys, and they may truly be confused and commitphobic or whatnot and not truly evil or mean. But what you are "feeling" now is NOT love. You are not truly in love and this is not a healthy love. Whether intentionally or just by their nature and how they respond or lack thereof, they have created an obsession in you. Please do to seducersworld website, and read the "Chapters" on it. Maybe these guys are not intentionally following these tactics and stragies of seduction which are from a fairly well-reknowned author, Robert Greene-- in his book "Art of Seduction", but the "highs" and "lows", disappearances, etc. are creating the same effect upon you as that sought or taught in this book. I only recently discovered the book, and was absolutely shocked at how my Cap. guy had, once again either calculatingly or coincidentally, used at least 75% of these tactics on me. And I'll be the first to admit- they worked. I am still hooked. It's an unhealthy obsession, girls. It's not love. Your emotions have been toyed with and highs and lows inflicted upon you, and you are not addicted to that out of control feeling.

Please-- look at the website. You are wasting precious time and potential happiness with other men who can commit and give you stability, and consistent and reliable attention and affection. With these types that you're dealing with, as have/am I, there is not happy ending where they come to you and choose you and it's suddenly a different "ball game". I'm not criticizing all Cap. men in general or saying that Cap. men never end up in a relationship or marriage, but the types that we're dealing with-- it's not worth risking any more of your time and heartache. They will not end up with you, and they may likely be doing this same dance with another or others. (Greeneyes, I couldn't help but see and suspect that Brian may have been involved with on some level Jenna all along or a good deal of the time that he was living with her-- with the abrupt hang-up with you with her in the bkdg. I even wondered if his wrecked truck had something to due w/ her rage and anger?)

I empathize and sympathize with you all. But please see the pattern and the number of months you've all have endured of this. I have done the same- 9 months- and it's never ever been a true "relationship", except maybe for 3 weeks at the very outset. I also am not giving up the booty and have only been intimate once w/ him. It's so very similar to all of you. I don't want to commiserate though or obsess with you. I would like to help provide a "wake up call" and encourage you to move on with your lives and give these other men, the Cancers or whomever, a chance. Yes, they do not seem exciting, they may be too nice, too available, too clingy, but they can provide a healthier, more stable relationship. What you have been subjecting yourselves to is pure

Tiamat no datey cappies.Tiamat a barnicle on people asses that won't go away.Sandblasting,drilling,sawing...never works I grow back,hmm maybe fungus would work better.*random moment;don't pay much attention to*

welcome capgirl~

Gosh you must have taken at least a week to read through all our drama!! lol j/k but i do appreciate all of the information given and im going to check out the site as soon as im done posting here. Im so sorry to hear that you went through this same capy crapy!! Its does not feel good! Im just now starting to come out of my rut! Im getting my soul back. Its been gone "obsessing" over Brian for far to long!! I do beleive I love him though! But not matter the case its not going to happen now and Im not going to sit around and waite for the what if! I'm so glad you posted your thoughts and feelings as it had just assured me that i will be o.k. and that im not the only one going through this or who has ever felt the way I do. Thank you so much!! ALL the signs are saying to get out let go and move forward...Im doing good so far. Thank you for caring enough to read through my/our story!


GEG~

GEG~
Yes, I particularly read your "calling all Cap men" thread, as that's the first when I came upon. That Brian guy was young! I can't imagine dealing with one of these types that young. I'm 35 and mine is 28 and has been divorced, as have I. I'm vascillate back and forth so much-- Last night, in reading your trials and tribulations, I felt strongly that these types are never going to come around... But now today, I can identify with the "patience" principle too. I saw that that Imagine or some Gemini girl, I think, had a possible positive ending with her Cap. guy? Is she still on the Board? She had posted about how he revealed his feelings at the river in the car and they went away for the weekend thereafter... She was countering negative comments from Fire&Ice and some male Cap. in the thread.

I have other things going on, while juggling and figuring out what is going to happen with my Cap. guy. I've been seeing another guy- a Sagittarius who's also darn 28 years old- and he and I have spent alot of time together in the last 4 months. He picks up on all my calls, emails and texts me every day. It's so nice to have constant, consistent communication! I don't ever sit on pins and needles, analyzing and obsessing over when is he going to call me back? Why isn't he calling me back? Etc., etc.! But...the downside is also that it feels more like a friendship, like I could take or leave it at times. I went away on vacation for a week, and thoughts of him and our time together barely crossed my mind. Instead, I was re-living and re-playing scenes with my Cap. guy which are months old.

I was identifying with that Imagine or whatever her username is, in that my Cap. guy came on strong in the beginning, and pursued me like wildfire, wanting to spend every evening with me for the first couple of weeks. He joked around after 2-3 weeks about being his girlfriend and making it official, and it was so early on and premature to me, that I did not take him seriously and laughed it off as a joke.

Anyway-- I said that I would not obsess and commiserate, right?!

wow CapGirl~
ur almost making me loos confidence in myself!
so he persued you eh... when im interested in a girl i'd like to know that shes comfortable. so id never persue every day to go out with her.
and i think i have a rising cancer?? which makes me a softy? u can check out my chart on the topic called OAF on the cap board.
i know my venus and mars are both pisces wich i think make me more of a romantic type. i write poetry in my darkest hours and express my self to people how ever needed.

and GEG~
about calling her
i remember from previous relationships there would be thoughts of "should i call her this time or should i wait for her to call" thing goin on.
to tell u the truth, i think i feel comfortable the most talkin with a girl when i actually want to talk to her.
and i love the feelin of my heart skippin when she calls and its her when i pick up the phone.

Hi OAF~

I'm a Cancer rising too. The Cap. guy I've been dealing with is Pisces Venus, and Cap. Mars- not sure on his rising sign as I don't know his birthtime. Our synastry is amazing-- Mars/Venus conjunctions running both ways, as I'm Cap. Venus and Pisces Mars. Moon/moon conjunction. I could go on and on, but the potential doesn't alter the current realities- that we have been locking horns for months.

Being a Cap., I'm the same way about phone calls. One of my good girlfriends actually just called me for the 3rd time in 2 weeks, as I had not returned her calls and she wanted to make sure I wasn't mad at her. But this is a friend- not a member of the opposite sex whom I am interested in romantically! I do hate the phone and particularly long phone calls. Sometimes, I may not want to call [him] because of the apprehension of not knowing what we'll talk about, and I can emphathize with not picking up on a call bc. you don't know what they're calling about but I feel this way moreso with my parents than with a love interest.

i have a question... are most caps attracted to older women? I'm finding that weird, Oaf how old is your gem?

CapG~ I say just go with the flow take it one step at a time but if at anytime you feel you are being betrayed....just get out no question. You dont wan thim playing with your heart strings!!

Oaf! I forgot...how old are you? Its been a while but is your b-day jan 12 1985? Its funny about your venus and mars being pisces thats what Brian is....hmm
anyhoo about you calling....so are you saying you want to waite for her to call so your heart can skip a beat? Because if shes like any of us GEMS shes already investigating you and knows that she has to take it slow so you dont run... and is going to waite for your call. Anyhoo oaf how is your trip? Your in Turkey right?

Good to know after moved on...I'd check the web site.

I disagree with most caps go for older women.The cappy boss I hate has the hots for me and he's almost double my age.I think thats also part of the reason he likes to annoy me,it seems like he's trying to get an actual emotional response from me.The other ones I know date whoever regardless of age,it's actually usually younger girls they get attracted to.One that is an actual friend is 35-40 don't remember exactly but he's totally obsessed with an 18 year old,but the age differance is what's holding him back there.I don't think it'd be an issue if she was a little older,he's newly divorced with kids so ya know,it would be alot for her to deal with all at once,going from fresh out of high school and carefree to being daddys girlfriend.

wow ~ Tiamat
I thought my age gap was big 8 years but 22 years..wow

Peach~ what happened?

GEG-
you got my birthday right! i am 20 and so is the gem ive been interested in.

GEG --"so are you saying you want to waite for her to call so your heart can skip a beat?"--

LOL i wouldnt wait for her to call just for my benifit! Right now all the gilfriends i have had in the past 2 years have been just friends so i dont have any problems calling them up so we can hang out. As for chit chat on the phone, i do that with my taurus girl friend a couple times a week plus the internet chatting. The thing tho is its not intimate so theres never any presure to call or anything. I dont know how it would be in an itimate relationship cuz i havent been in one for a long time!

I do feel tho that i want to do my best and please my love. Learning from other cappies mistakes with you gems really means a lot to me!

Its really hard right now tho because im in another country. So im just going to see how things go when i get back. This is just me with a huge crush on a gem in a far away place. I dont think much can be accomplished from here.

haha The trip has been going great!! thanx for asking. I would say more but i must go. My uncle just arrived and i havent seen him in ages!