I'm going to be the bigger person

so,let's see here. apparently he isn't going to tell me how he feels. and since i have a virgo rising in me as a gemini. i tend to shy away like he does. but how am i supposed to tell him how i feel and vise-versa if he is analyzing? i don't want it to be too late to tell him,when actually i am dying to tell him. but he is avoiding still. *shrugs* so how to go about how to tell him i love him. send a text saying i love you or voicemail saying i love you. when i'd rather say it to him when he responds but it's like a push and pull here. if i don't tell him, & he won't tell me. chances are we aren't ever going to know. so i want to take that step. any advise—

Posted by Lauren89
If there is a push/pull game there then you should start wondering not how to tell him but if it is worth the effort to tell him.

If you want to know how he feels about you open a conversation about love/relationships in general and then make it closer and closer to him to see who is in his mind 😉

If all fails try the direct approach. It never fails and it is the quickest...

Is he shy btw? What is his starsign?

thanks for the advise i best tell him straightforwards. it is indeed quicker. teehee. & yes i noticed he is very shy around me. like there was only one time he held my hand but when we are with his friends he won't do it. i mean he will get close to me and try to make a move but he pulls away. but when its just me and him and his brother he will surely hold my hand and i feel this vibe with him. he never kissed me. and i guess he was shy about doing that as well. the only thing we did was cuddle and sleep.

he stares at me a lot i might add. as well as i gaze at him SO much.

Posted by Lauren89
why don't you try to do the first step into kissing ? 😉

Is he gay? If not then after all that cuddling most possibly he would like some kissing...

i know he isn't gay o.O this i know. *giggles* i wanted to make the first move but he said he was going to know. but that is when i realized we were both shy when we finally met eachother -_-" i wish i made my move but my shyness made me pull away. grrrr.

Posted by Lauren89
is it an internet thing?

we met on the interenet. but we didnt talk over it. maybe like twice. then he gave me his number. and we started to talk from there. we wanted to see eachother knowing we live in two different states. at first he thought i lived close to him,but i said no we live far away. & he said not to worry,i am not going anywhere. til i finally made some money to go see him. and honestly i wanted to stay with him. because saying goodbye was the hardest thing i did. & he knew i was hurting. but he said when the time is and is free i can come back(with him working and all). and his parents wanted to meet mine. i guess they liked me because i showed how much i cared about their son. by flying all the way to his house,and busting my ass to show him how important he is to me.

another thing is we are totally two different cultures. i am spanish and he is asian. lol and guessed he never had a spanish girl before. *giggles* his parents liked how i was well-mannered and sophisticated i guess. i added some spice in his life.

actually his parents has to do a lot of what he thinks. & he is buddhist.

i will try :/

Why do you feel so compelled to tell him how you feel? I have to admit this may backfire on you...I sense a level of expectation on your part, such as reciprocation and if he's really this shy as you state then he's definitely not going to open up, I have a feeling this will only serve to push him away even further....A suggestion and it's only a suggestion..Chill out, lean back and go about your life instead of attempting to revolve yourself around this guy and make him your life....can we say run for the hills, a man will run if he feel he's being chased and you spilling your guts while there is no opening for communication at the moment will only serve to keep things as they are or make them worse, this guy may sense your intense feelings already and it doesn't feel good to him so he keeps his distance in hopes that you will simmer down, slow down and relax unfortunately men pulling away only serves to intensify a woman's desire to get close and creates the exact opposite of what he hoped for which is getting you to slow down.

I believe his distance may be a good thing, he's attempting to figure out how you will fit into his world, if he's ready for you to fit into his life, if you push he will only pull away and eventually will break apart...So do yourself a favor slow down....You went to see him which is very flattering thing for a woman to do, that alone speaks volumes about how you feel about him so my suggestion is let him make an effort and give to you just as much as you have given to him...Let him do the work to capture and keep you, you did your part, you showed up, you spent your money to see him now let him do his part to seal the deal.

Posted by tiki33
Why do you feel so compelled to tell him how you feel? I have to admit this may backfire on you...I sense a level of expectation on your part, such as reciprocation and if he's really this shy as you state then he's definitely not going to open up, I have a feeling this will only serve to push him away even further....A suggestion and it's only a suggestion..Chill out, lean back and go about your life instead of attempting to revolve yourself around this guy and make him your life....can we say run for the hills, a man will run if he feel he's being chased and you spilling your guts while there is no opening for communication at the moment will only serve to keep things as they are or make them worse, this guy may sense your intense feelings already and it doesn't feel good to him so he keeps his distance in hopes that you will simmer down, slow down and relax unfortunately men pulling away only serves to intensify a woman's desire to get close and creates the exact opposite of what he hoped for which is getting you to slow down.

I believe his distance may be a good thing, he's attempting to figure out how you will fit into his world, if he's ready for you to fit into his life, if you push he will only pull away and eventually will break apart...So do yourself a favor slow down....You went to see him which is very flattering thing for a woman to do, that alone speaks volumes about how you feel about him so my suggestion is let him make an effort and give to you just as much as you have given to him...Let him do the work to capture and keep you, you did your part, you showed up, you spent your money to see him now let him do his part to seal the deal.

i am speechless. thank you this has really gave me some thought. i will try to relax though it is kind of hard since my brain is constantly wondering -_-" but this sums it all up for me. i appreciate your insight ^^

Posted by KrystleSade
another thing is we are totally two different cultures. i am spanish and he is asian. lol and guessed he never had a spanish girl before. *giggles* his parents liked how i was well-mannered and sophisticated i guess. i added some spice in his life.

What kind of Asian is he? I'm just asking because it could not be solely an astrological thing but a cultural thing as well. I'm Asian so I don't know but maybe I could shed some light on it.

Posted by Joanie675

Posted by KrystleSade
another thing is we are totally two different cultures. i am spanish and he is asian. lol and guessed he never had a spanish girl before. *giggles* his parents liked how i was well-mannered and sophisticated i guess. i added some spice in his life.

What kind of Asian is he? I'm just asking because it could not be solely an astrological thing but a cultural thing as well. I'm Asian so I don't know but maybe I could shed some light on it.

click to expand

he is vietnamese ^^

he only dated like causcian girls or other vietnamese girls but never a spanish girl

I have a question since everyone is on the topic of "emotions and feelings".

Im not sure if this is a gemini trait but when I like someone and im starting to really like them and I can actually FEEL the emotions not just THINK that I feel something for them, do you feel the need to tell the person your feeling for how you feel? Do you have an urge to let them know how you feel about them? lol.

This tends to happen to me and I hate it. A lot of the times I wont directly tell the person but I mean I flirt a lot and I say things with double meanings hoping that they will get the point, if all fails and I think there will be potential between us then I will summon the courage and tell them, I LIKE YOU.

i have the urge to tell someone i love them. so you aren't the only one ^^ & like it's hard to tell them because my words get all mixed up. but it's like ughh i NEED to tell you! haha. it eats me up inside. can't stand it. grrr

Also Krystle I don't mean to be mean but this Asian guy may be semi influenced by his family, I'm not sure why you met his family so early given you hadn't really decided if you like each other in person....What pressure he must be under, he may like you but if his family didn't like you in a traditional sense (piercings and tat's can be a huge issue with asian families) that could be one of the reasons he's pulled back...I know a bit about asian men and although the asian kids may be less traditional the parents and grandparents tend to be a bit more socially traditional and it's important that whomever he likes is accepted by family.

It's okay to tell a man how you feel but he has to be OPEN and AVAILABLE for it in your case your not speaking right now...If your not on speaking terms right now bum rushing him with love won't make your situation any better but it will only serve to push him away further and make you appear more needy which is a huge turn off...BE PATIENT

Posted by tiki33
Also Krystle I don't mean to be mean but this Asian guy may be semi influenced by his family, I'm not sure why you met his family so early given you hadn't really decided if you like each other in person....What pressure he must be under, he may like you but if his family didn't like you in a traditional sense (piercings and tat's can be a huge issue with asian families) that could be one of the reasons he's pulled back...I know a bit about asian men and although the asian kids may be less traditional the parents and grandparents tend to be a bit more socially traditional and it's important that whomever he likes is accepted by family.

It's okay to tell a man how you feel but he has to be OPEN and AVAILABLE for it in your case your not speaking right now...If your not on speaking terms right now bum rushing him with love won't make your situation any better but it will only serve to push him away further and make you appear more needy which is a huge turn off...BE PATIENT

i am like loving your advise ^^ very inspiring. i shall have to write that down. you may just be a good role model for me. i wish to be as strong as you. & i didn't have these piercings when i was with him. i had lip rings and a nose ring but i took it out for his family before i went down there. and we did tell eachother we liked eachother in person. but he told me he loved me first in the beginning of us talking. which was a shock to me because i said dont say it unless you mean it. and yes i am working on being patient. so far i lasted 2 months so i am sure i can wait a lil bit longer. i can actually i waited almost a year for a jerk that didnt deserve my love. so i guess i can do it for someone who is worth it.

i met his parents because since we are living in different states we are both only 20 he will be 21 next month. and i just turned 20 in may. so i stayed at his house,with his family. they were very nice and caring for me. but i felt like i need to repay them because i am so grateful for them to let me in their home with opens arms. with me i wanted to do something nice but idk what. :/ but i was the first girl they liked that their son dated.

you would think that with all the depression in me,nobody would like me yes? but i was raised very well. and i am proud of that. ^^

i feel like i'm walking on eggshells now. i have to watch my every move? :/ *shrugs*

So it's been 2 whole months with no contact...If so, please MOVE ON, you are young, please please don't waste your youth waiting on men...Go have some fun, find ways to help yourself love yourself more and let me tell ya, waiting on a man isn't loving yourself. At this point if this guy hasn't spoken to you in a couple months, it means he was just not that into you and you don't owe his family anything, giving to them will only serve to expose desperation on your part and make him feel awkward and guilty over ending things without being up front about it...

I know you don't want to hear this but it's time to let go and move on, I think it's plain rude not to at least say hello and clear the air, you have been beyond patient...drop this guy, a new guy will come along and until then take some ME TIME, some time to find ways to be content with yourself....Men come and they will go, your best option at this point is to stop waiting and go live, hell 20's roar by, you can't your 20's back, this is the time to have fun, date, do you, do your thing...find yourself and you can't do that by being stuck on men for months at a time...I definitely can see why you have lost patience...shame on him but men hate confrontation and they would much rather disappear than say oops sorry just not that into you buh bye.

If he's interested he will resurface again and reach out to you but if it were me I sure wouldn't be waiting on that moment.

typo...you can't get your 20's back

I'm sorry but i will have to refuse. I shall not move on. I refuse to let him let go. Waiting is not a big deal. My heart is set on only him. I am young that is true. But if i know what i want i go after that no matter what. I dont give up on someone i love.

It's your choice, the habits you are creating and living based around men will plague you once you get in your late 20's early 30's, right now you can't see how desperate you appear over men...I know you have self esteem issues and unfortunately 2 months even a year is not a long time because some women believe they have to wait and work hard to get a man and it's not true plus you have done this before with a man correct *waited a year for a jerk* and I'm sure that ended poorly and thus your doomed repeat the same thing with this guy and every man that feeds you false words, false hope with love....2 months of no contact means I'm not interested....

Your young, I don't assume you will listen but many times women like yourself have to learn the hard way...Any who..Good luck, keep us updated on your situation.