In limbo with a Leo man. :(

Hi guys,

My Leo man and I have been in the worst fight (more like a Cold War) since Thursday.

So my Leo man started a new job a few weeks ago that requires long hours and commutes. I know it must be stressful, but in the prior weeks, everything with us was fine and he never expressed any problems at work.

However, starting last Monday, Leo man has been very distant. I had some really scary medical tests done on me and a new job interview last week and Leo man has not been there at all. He'll be there physically, but not mentally or emotionally. I have always been the independent one, giving Leo all the attention he needs (and he will get mad if I don't give enough). I just needed my Leo to hold me and comfort me like he used to always do, but it didn't happen.

I tried to tell him I felt distant nicely. Then I woke up in the middle of night crying hysterically because even though he was in bed next to me, I still felt so faraway from him and he comforted me temporarily. I texted him at work a couple days later to tell him I still felt unhappy and distant and we should talk about it.

He did not take well to my texts and said: "Going to take some alone time to figure things out. I'll miss you. Be safe." Leo has made empty threats like that before but usually comes around by the end of the day.

It's now been 4 days. I've tried to reach out to him to tell him how much I miss him and love him, but he ignores me. Being ignored without a chance to explain my side infuriates me more than anything, so the texts I sent him began to sound desperate as I tried to make him understand how badly he is hurting me. I felt out of control and couldn't stop crying all weekend.

He FINALLY responded Saturday and said: "I'm sorry I hurt you. I am really stressed right now. I don't want to be anyone's boyfriend. I need to be alone and don't want to talk. PLEASE."

That upset me even more and I demanded he come get all his things at my place and to return mine. He said no and is continuing to completely ignore me. I haven't contacted him since and I have no idea whether or not I still have a boyfriend or when he decides to talk again, it won't be to get back together.

I'm so scared to lose him and that he won't come back to me. I love him more than anything and I KNOW he feels the same about me. Any thoughts or insights? Thanks!


If it helps - I'm a true Scorpio.

yep. when in doubt do absolutely nothing. you can't regret anything you haven't done. texting him is pointless. he's stated his case and men are simple creatures so there's no hidden meaning there. don't get consumed by your hurt feelings cos it's just creating negative energy and it's you who allows yourself to continue feeling hurt...you decide your emotional state.

i think the bottom line is that he is obviously stressed with his new job and you probably needed more of him than he had to give with the issues you had going on.

texting him that you should talk about it was a big, MAHOOOOOSIVE no no. men don't wanna talk about shit like that. period.

he'll come around again but you should leave him to make the next move. just carry on with your life like you didn't even know him. i'm a scorpio too and so i know it's easy for us to shut down feelings for someone if they've hurt us and it's usually when we've completed that process that they show up again, by which time we may not feel the same way about them.

Thank you Jynja and r1g0rm0rt1s for the advice! I know you're both right and in my heart, I know he'll be back. I just am having trouble dealing with the uncertainty of when he'll come back. With the new week, I'll be busy. Getting through the weekend was really tough.

I'm scared that Leo man will return angry and that it'll really be over, but as r1g0r said, Scorpios are very good at withdrawing our feelings when someone has hurt us deeply.

Update: I took your advice to give him space and haven't talked to him since Saturday after our really big blow up (immature) text exchange. However, this morning I couldn't bear knowing that the last thing I said to him was not very nice and I didn't want that to be the way he remembered me if this truly is the end. I texted him good morning and called him by pet name for him and told him I was thinking about him and I hope things are getting better with him. I encouraged him with work and left it on a sweet, positive note.

Maybe this was the wrong thing to do as I'm supposed to keep up my cold front as well. Of course he didn't respond and this will truly be the last time I contact him until he reaches out.

Unfortunately, I found out today he updated his online dating profile and changed his picture. We met on that online dating site about 8 months ago. However, I saw that he checked my online dating profile on Saturday (the day he told me he didn't want to be anyone's boyfriend). I know he only updated his profile since our Cold War started and I don't know if he's doing it as sign that he truly is moving on and wants to date other people or if he's just being a jerk. Either way, I changed my profile picture, too. I must say though - I look MUCH happier in my new photo than he does.

Up until finding out Leo man changed his online dating profile picture, I was feeling hopeful that he would return soon and things will be ok, but now I'm not sure if that's the case.

Deep in my heart, I know he still loves me. Regardless of how mad you are at someone, you don't just stop loving them over night. I just don't know if he still loves me enough to come back.

Please let me know what you think. Thanks so much!

no. you didn't take the advice at all. you didn't cut all contact and you didn't concentrate on your own life like he doesn't exist. you checked his dating profile (daily i'm guessing) and have been analysing what him changing his profile picture 'means'...and then you blow everything by texting him like nothing's happened.

the attitude of talking to him like nothing's happened is right but it should be in response to HIM CONTACTING YOU!!

YES you can fall out of love with someone almost instantaneously, if you didn't love them in the first place!! if he was in love...wtf is he even doing on a dating site still?

you're obsessing about this man and you're gonna convince yourself he's a whole lot better than he is.

STOP GIVING HIM YOUR POWER!!!!!

if he wants you, he'll come and get you but all the time you're hanging round waiting for it to happen and occasionally prodding him to let him know you're still alive, you're reducing your value in his eyes.

snap out of it for your own sake.

Id say get on with your life...Leos like class and we hate people clinging to us (though it does give us some sadistic pleasure).. we just cant respect the sorts... So back off a bit, and bring some happiness into your world...

No one likes to hang around someone whimpering all the time (though Im sure that this was just because u had a fall out with him, but still)... If he wants you, HE will come back... and beg, fight, plead.. to have you back... and then it would be your call...

But by clinging to him, youre only losing your self respect, and him as well...

Buck up, girl - Its a beautiful world!

You guys are so right. As I'm sure you all know it's very difficult to stay strong when your heart is broken. I haven't checked his online dating profile in a long time and only looked at it today when I saw he had also looked at mine, so no, I haven't been checking it daily.

I definitely WILL NOT contact from here on out. I guess I just needed to know that at least my last words to him wasn't something awful out of anger. It gives me peace knowing at least I put it out there.

I've been keeping busy, but the most vulnerable moments come at the end of the night when you are going to bed and when you wake up in the morning and I'm trying to work through that. I'm going to pack up all his clothes that are my place and put them away and get rid of pictures of us around my house and just remnants of his presence. I think I'm ready for a clean break. I'm out of tears and am physically exhausted from all the stress this is causing me and trying to run around keeping busy.

Thank you for reinforcing the fact that I really just need to leave it be. I needed that.

**hug**

btw...if you said anything bad to him as a parting shot, CELEBRATE IT!!!! i mean, he's not falling over himself to excuse his behaviour to you, so who gives a stuff!!

well to be honest, i meant that she should get out there to FORGET him and not make him jealous. personally, i see that behaviour as being an unnecessarily low blow. i think she should forget the leo completely....let go of expectations and move on 🙂

Thanks guys! Maybe it was a low blow to change my dating profile too, but I feel like Leo needed that low blow. He is exerting too much power over me right now.

jynja - The more time goes on and the more people I talk to, I'm beginning to believe that he DID leave me. I mean, he told me that: "I'm sorry I hurt you. I'm really stressed right now. I don't want to be anyone's boyfriend." For me, it sounds like he doesn't want to be my boyfriend either and that was a direct indication that he's gone for good.

At this point, all those around me have said that him completely ignoring me like this is getting emotionally abusive. I have no idea when and if he'll ever come back. I'm trying to forget him and I know it'll get easier with time, but it's hard to give up that hope that anything can ever happen again.

Also, as I mentioned in the original post, Leo man originally just wanted a break until September and we would revisit our feelings. He then said he'd miss me and to be safe. I think I pushed him too hard this weekend and overwhelmed him with texts and feelings and it caused him to say he didn't want to be anyone's boyfriend. Hopefully, my silence (and I'm going to do it this time!) will cause him to at least recollect the good time and reconsider. Only time will tell....

it's not emotionally abusive to ignore someone, specially when you've said all you need to say.

i'm surprised you need confirmation from friends that him saying 'i don't want to be anyone's boyfriend' includes you too.

the whole idea of suspending a relationship and 'revisiting feelings' at a later date is ridiculous and it was really at THAT point you were being dumped.

if you're into someone, you want to be with them all the time and when you're not together you still 'know' you're together.

the only person who can feel emotionally abused by this is you and only if you allow yourself to.

scorpios can be way too intense for leos. it scares the bejeezus out of them!!

Posted by zephyr1985
Thanks guys! Maybe it was a low blow to change my dating profile too, but I feel like Leo needed that low blow. He is exerting too much power over me right now.

.

That is not true. He told you he didn't want to be in a relationship, changed his FB profile and asked for space. How is that exerting power? I am sure he is not even thinking about you. I'm not trying to be insensitive but let's be real.

He gave you a choice. You could either

A. Move on
B. Wait on him


My advice....Move on. When we are done, we are done. He is done.

For once a man is being honest and responsible and you are upset about it. Be greatful he didn't lead you on.

I recently started dating a Leo male...things moved fast.We get along very well & about a week ago he told me he loved me.There was a death in his family & was very emotional.a couple days after his cousins death he proposed marriage to me.Two days later he shut down and hasn't really been communicating with me.Other than a text once or twice a day, I asked if he need'd space & he was upset and said ...no.He then stated "let me deal with this & I'll call u.Does he not want to be with me?Its hurting me...inset night I called & he didn't pick up.What should I do?Did he change his mind about wanting to be with me?

Typo...I called him last night.

oh wow. they guy is grieving and you are wondering if he still wants to be with you or not? have you considered that he may have more on his mind than you right now? you said he's texting you once or twice a day so i don't get what more you want from him at the moment. perhaps he's detected that you are a little needy and just hasn't got the emotional energy to soothe your fears.

even with jynja's editing, all i could see was ME, ME, ME!!!!! that's pretty unattractive imo.

We have been dating for a couple months now.
His cousin was killed two weeks b4 proposed to me.
I didn't think I was being needy.I am a business woman that holds my own in or out of a relationship.
Didn't really stop to think that way tho...I was very much comforting towards the situation.
He's in California & I'm n Jersey working.Im going out there on the 20th.
What should I do?

We have been dating for a couple months now.
His cousin was killed two weeks b4 proposed to me.
I didn't think I was being needy.I am a business woman that holds my own in or out of a relationship.
Didn't really stop to think that way tho...I was very much comforting towards the situation.
He's in California & I'm n Jersey working.Im going out there on the 20th.
What should I do?

yeah jynja's the shizziest for shiz!!! lol.

it's true though. people on dxp (mostly women) often respond to the suggestion of being needy or stalky (as i call it) with the 'defence' that they're business women.

and your point is...............?

a hooker's a business woman.....it's not such a great defining title, lol.

anyway, in response to your 'what shall i do' about seeing him on the 20th, i would suggest cancelling the trip, do as jynj says and text him he knows where you are if he needs you and then do NOTHING!